Juliette makes the dumbest move in the history of text messaging and pregnancy news as Will starts to break down once again thanks to his difficult secret.

By Keertana Sastry
March 13, 2015 at 06:34 PM EDT
ABC
S3 E5
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  • TV Show
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Genre

A text Juliette? A TEXT? And I thought getting dumped via Post-It note was the worst form of communication I’d seen on television. Along with featuring Rayna dealing with parenting issues, Deacon bonding with Will, and Gunnar getting some obvious yet still obnoxious news, Wednesday night’s episode of Nashville also showcased Juliette with a devil may care attitude rather suddenly when she decided to finally tell Avery he is the father of her baby, via a text message that just read, “I’m pregnant. It’s yours.” I’m surprised she didn’t throw in a baby emoji just for giggles.

Clearly the currently downward spiraling baby daddy did not take the surprise well, especially considering he received the message as he started his court-mandated community service for being found drunk in some random family’s car in their driveway. Avery tried to get more information, mainly he tried to make sure this wasn’t all some sick joke, but instead got his phone taken away by the roadside trash pickup, community service monitor. Before we immerse ourselves too deep inside the psyche of Miss Juliette Barnes, we have to talk about the episode as a whole. “Road Happy” showed many of our favorite (and perhaps not-so-favorite) characters juggling life on tour with other dilemmas and story lines.

Starting with Rayna and Luke, both big time stars continued their separate tours. Whatever happened to their joint “Honeymoon Tour” by the way? Seems like that idea fell by the wayside rather quickly. Rayna was enjoying her time schmoozing with press and random important fans and bringing Sadie for the ride when she received a phone call from her younger daughter Daphne saying she missed her mother. After complaining about not getting to see Rayna all that often, Daphne asked her mother when she and Maddie would see her again? Ray eventually plans a fun trip with the whole family, including Luke and his son but excluding Luke’s daughter who apparently had dance camp to attend. (If it’s anything like Camp Rock, count me out. If it’s anything like that jazz dance class in Center Stage, count me so in.)

Daphne wasn’t really feeling this family trip as “Ruke” had to go off and take care of commercials, interviews, and whatnot intermittently, so she throws a typical pre-teen/teen tantrum, tells her mom she sucks, and storms out of the trailer. Rayna makes it up to the girls by taking them bowling and spending some fun times with them where Rayna also gets to bond with Maddie, who has seen a less-than-flattering picture of herself in a tabloid mag and starts doubting her beauty. Rayna tells her daughter that when she dealt with the “haters” of the Country world and beyond, she decided to be the best version of herself (presumably that means selling her soul to the Devil for the perfect hair), and advises Maddie to do the same.

Maddie takes her advice but the process is one Rayna was not too happy about as Teddy realizes Rayna is very clearly the cool parent out of the two of them and decides to make up for his boring-ness by taking the girls to a “beauty day”: Daphne gets her ears pierced and Maddie gets highlights. Rayna is not pleased at missing the transformations to her daughter and for the first time in… well, ever, I can’t put all the blame for the bad decision to overcompensate on coolness on Teddy alone. The poor, dumb man was influenced and persuaded to be the fun parent by Jeff Fordham, who is very clearly only chatting up Teddy to eventually sign Maddie and Daphne to Edgehill with just Teddy as the signer. It seems like a smart move until you think about the plan in detail: Can Maddie actually get signed if Teddy gives permission? Technically, she’s not his daughter, she’s Deacon’s. And no one better mess with that duo, despite how good Daphne says she’s getting on the ukelele. Teddy also meets a lady tonight and impresses her by telling her he’ll get her out of her parking ticket. The joys and seduction of local government, ladies and gentlemen.

NEXT: Gunnar, can’t you get your own storyline? 

Meanwhile, our characters out of the spotlight have some interesting turn of events occur in “Road Happy.” Gunnar finds out that his first love/old friend Kylie has decided to move out of town for her online boyfriend who lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He asks Zoey if she would be alright with him having a little going away get-together with Kylie before she packs everything up. Gunnar discovers that Kylie has a kid and he and Micah, seem to share a similar taste in dipping french fries into applesauce. Liking the same strange food combinations almost always equals long-lost relatives on TV. So obviously the kid is Gunnar’s, but Kylie lies and says Gunnar is not the father—at first. Later she does come clean when Gunnar—after having a chat with Avery over his similar baby daddy predicament—confronts her about it.

So now both Gunnar and Avery have kids. Well, Avery almost has a kid. I’m having a serious worry that the Nashville writers are either having difficulty coming up with unique plotlines for each character or they’re trying to turn Avery and Gunnar into bosom buddies.

Then there’s Zoey. Gunnar’s girlfriend doesn’t know about his newly discovered son just yet, but judging by her outburst of jealousy at Scarlett from the previous episode, she will not take this news well. Zoey began the episode feeling lost and unappreciated by Juliette and those on the tour. But she overhears Juliette talking about her baby bump and later comforts Jules during a clothing meltdown. The singers bond a tiny bit, but that might be ending before it even truly began thanks to the last few minutes of this episode.

And of course you can’t mention Gunnar and Zoey without bringing up Scarlett. “Road Happy” was rather Scarlett light as we saw the singer/songwriter trying to churn out yet another piece, possibly for Miranda Lambert, but she can’t quite get the lyrics straight, partially thanks to a homeless man outside shouting about pizza. Eventually Scarlett gives the man outside a sandwich (or a sammich as he calls it) and in trade he offers her a way to end her song. I wouldn’t mind seeing homeless man again. Maybe next week he can yell to the heavens about tacos?

NEXT: Will has come undone

Jeff Fordham gets his grubby paws all over “Road Happy” as he visits Will to discuss his new single and to get the closeted country star to have his trainer/bedroom friend sign a non-disclosure agreement about their relationship. When Will asks beefy trainer guy to do so, he flips and talks about what is the nature of their relationship, to which Will reveals that all he needs are secret hookups—because it’s so much easier than admitting you love someone. Deacon happens to see beefy trainer storm out of Will’s dressing room with Will in pursuit. But before he can stop trainer guy and beg for forgiveness, he instead reverts back to his closeted ways and insults the man even further.

Deacon picks up on Will’s secret predicament and tries to reassure him that he not only wants to reveal Will’s secret, but that he’s also there for him. Instead of talking through his struggle like a normal person, or like he promised to do with Gunnar in season 2, Will decides to go looking for some stranger in the park. He meets a man who takes a quick stroll with him and then proceeds to kick the crap out of and rob him with the help of an unknown buddy. Deacon again tries to talk to Will and check on his health after the beat down, but Will basically tells him to drop it even though he appreciates the support.

Ugh right, then there’s Layla, who’s flirting it up real good with her new music producer, complaining to Jeff about the songs she has to sing for her new record—which she got out of blackmail—and generally being a crazy person as she takes some pills and smashes her bathroom mirror. She already has terrible luck, does she really need seven more years of it?

Alright fine, back to Juliette. The new fictional Patsy Cline starts the episode doing a mighty fine job covering up her baby bump despite needing to pee every five seconds and realizing that her clothes will stop fitting her. After she sends Avery the infamous text, he shows up at her trailer on the set of the Patsy Cline film and starts yelling that she’s a coward for not talking to him about it. Juliette’s co-star Noah (the adorable) overhears Avery’s outburst (to be honest, how did no one else hear it) before Glenn can stop Avery, calm him down, and tell Avery that he will not allow Juliette’s baby to grow up in a life of chaos like Juliette did many years ago. He tells Avery to leave Juliette alone for a while. Glenn’s fatherly relationship with Juliette is really getting sweet y’all.

Avery goes to speak with Gunnar about how he should handle this baby situation and Gunnar tells him that he needs to decide what he wants. But obviously Avery doesn’t know what that is. He says maybe it’s best for everyone if he lets the whole thing go? You all know as well as I do that’s not going to happen.

Finally the day of Noah and Juliette’s big sex scene in the Patsy Cline movie arrives, and Noah makes the whole situation very comfortable for Juliette. He even reveals to her that he found out about the pregnancy and that her secret is safe with him. Noah later shows up at Juliette’s concert for more moral support and to just be with her. While she performs onstage, she starts having trouble breathing and exits the stage mid-song. Zoey decides that this is her chance to take the spotlight (and possibly save the show?) and she sings the rest of the song in Juliette’s place. Juliette looks up at Zoey stealing her thunder and passes out in Noah’s arms. Is she relieved or is she angry? Things aren’t looking great in the “I can do everything department” for Juliette, but at least we know she’s got some great support all around. Now we just have to hope Avery can step up soon enough.

Legendary music icon Rayna Jaymes struggles to maintain her place in the spotlight while dealing with the ambitious rising pop vixen Juliette Barnes.
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