Wealthy stars Juliette, Rayna, and Deacon can't believe they're at an event for -- gasp! -- rich people

By Annie Barrett
March 13, 2015 at 07:12 PM EDT
Mark Levine/ABC
S2 E6
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Remember when Nashville was about the music? Tonight’s episode, “It Must Be You,” offered just one new performance and a whole lotta romantic buildup to…maybe nothing. This season the show’s less focused on satirizing the actual country music industry — something it did so intriguingly in season 1 — and more focused on pairing up random characters so that they’ll have another human to converse with in a scene.

And it’s always the same conversation; basically: “Let’s equivocate on how we probably like each other, but maybe not, but really, yes. Sex now?” Of course there’s no way to set that disastrous paraphrase to music, so they don’t even try!

It’s time for a Big Hat Event: the Belle Meade polo match. None of Nashville‘s heavy hitters can believe they’re there, even though they are like the richest people in the city and therefore are practically required to attend. Rayna’s even fourth-generation Belle Meade (so how the heck has she avoided this polo match her whole life? small children have no rights!), which her new sex interest Luke Wheeler knew after doing his research and watching a CMA special.

To recap all the subliminal messages flying around at this point: ABC. CMA. Robin Roberts. ABC. ABC. CMA. ABC. Next week. You will watch it. ABC. CMA. No new Nashville. Perfect opportunity for one, too. WTF.

Juliette’s there, wearing a delightfully absurd daffodil-esque fascinator and prim patterned gown. That British sex weasel and, it turns out, polo player Charlie Wentworth had invited her. At first Juliette’s not havin’ it with her latest boy toy — she gives him hell about all the wealth he inherited and all the grapes his servants must constantly feed him. But the joke’s on her — Charlie Wentworth doesn’t even like grapes.

Cool it, Thong Dress.

Wrong Thong ends up having a blast at the polo event, reluctantly replacing divots Pretty Woman-style and eventually engaging in a post-match stable singalong designed to show her as just one of the guys. (Juliette Barnes: Easy, breezy, beautiful. Neutrogena.)

I’m thrilled as suddenly, multiple stable hands not only know all the chords of Juliette’s song “Hypnotizing,” but have musical instruments in their possession on which to play said chords! It’s a Halloween miracle! Next year I am totally going as the long-haired fellow playing the harmonica. I just don’t have the time to pull off this complicated costume before tomorrow.

NEXT: Rayna should know better than to try raise millions with a lame side pony Juliette learns the truth about “Char-livia,” which People magazine voted “the world’s most interesting couple.” Based on what?! I have to know. It can’t be either of their personalities. I hope it’s something creepy. We’ll probably never find out.

Olivia, a bad, mean, abusive type of rich person compared to her husband’s sweet, angelic, self-effacing type, is constantly slapping Charlie in the face and taking off in their jet.

But not tonight! She walks in on a very steamy Juliette and Charlie sex scene in their hotel room, then slips out. The new lovers are both so enamored by Juliette’s racy lingerie (missed opportunity for a repeat appearance by Thong Dress, I say) that they don’t even notice her standing there! It could be love!

The pair’s mutual attraction will endure a six-week trial period, as Juliette and Charlie agree to headline and sponsor some sort of music festival designed to keep Mayor Teddy involved in the show.

Deacon’s there, too, as a somewhat reluctant date to his lawyer lady, Megan, whose firm sponsors this annual snobbery. There’s a very easygoing vibe to their romance so far. Every time he presents an impossible situation — alcoholism, depression, has daughter with Rayna, is still in love with Rayna — she’s fine with it! That’s the gist of Megan. She accepts all of his crap and likes him anyway. And she’s making Deacon happy — something you wouldn’t imagine possible considering he started the season clutching his club hand while going through massive withdrawals in a prison cell. I say good for Deacon. He needs to heal. Rayna will still be around….right?

Luke Wheeler’s there. Doin’ cowboy things. Askin’ Deacon “So you and Rayna….?” before getting brutally cut off by Megan. She’s fine with it.

Rayna’s there, of course. With Lamar’s assets frozen and Rayna James’ ass not about to be kissed by Edge Hill head Jeff Fordham like she so firmly requested last week, the queen of country music has to beg for handouts from the dreaded disposable income snobs in order to give her independent label Highway 65 a fighting chance.

Trouble is, no one trusts Rayna’s family after the allegations against Lamar went down. Tandy (Rayna’s sister’s name — I continue to be as surprised as you are) is particularly suspect, as she’s been Lamar’s CFO and right-hand figurine for years. Not even those recurring bitches Myrna and Patty — huge fans of Rayna’s — will entertain her wild propositions like “Please invest in the arts.”

I partly blame Rayna’s demure polo ponytail for the $0.00 donation amount collected in her giant hat. There was only one giant loose, beautiful wave in that thing, and depending on the camera angle, sometimes it didn’t even look that friendly.

NEXT: Scarlett attempts to go Kate Bush on us (range-wise) Anyway, penniless Rayna is suddenly insistent that Scarlett join up with a huge tour — has this never occurred to her? — to build word of mouth because Scarlett can’t handle traditional, soul-sucking press lines. Luckily, the only two huge tours in all the land are also taking place on this show. Juliette says hell to the no to a Scarlett hop-on after Rayna scolds her for blatantly flirting with a married man — the industry’s female fans, who drive their sales, are not fond of that sort of thing, Rayna reminds her female fan.

“Desperate,” Rayna turns to Luke Wheeler and accidentally falls into a great big kiss. Sure, Scarlett can join him on the road! But only because she’s super talented. And because Luke wants to see much more of Rayna. (What did she just agree to? Is the entire cast going on this tour? I don’t think I’d necessarily mind!)

Scared out of her mind to perform at the Bluebird of all places, Scarlett seeks reassurance from the cafe’s longstanding mayor on Foursquare: Avery the bar back. (Every single time I write “bar back,” my computer wants it to be “bareback” instead. The only reason I even mention this is because the episode was about horses.)

Avery and Scarlett sleep together! Gunnar and Zoey are doin’ it in secret, so these two may as well. Avery is definitely up for a relationship again, but also seems content to give Scarlett her space.

Scarlett’s Bluebird performance of “Every Time I Fall In Love” by The Farm Inc. was sweet, but not her best. I prefer her lower, sultrier register to the high and flighty one, though obviously Clare Embee’s voice is beautiful either way. The “Who is she dreamily gazing at from an angelic white haze: Avery or Gunnar?” motif was a bit heavy-handed.

It’s pretty clear to me that both Avery and Gunnar are still in love with the ethereal doily, and, as she’s in an uncertain headspace right now, she likes the comfort of just knowing this and not having to make any rash decisions/deep lunges into another relationship. She came to Avery for emotional support, after all. The sex just happened. Meanwhile, Gunnar’s still emotionally tied up with Scarlett, but the sex with Zoey just happened. Who knows what anyone’s true feelings are? At least everyone’s getting laid.

Oh, and stupid Teddy announced his engagement to Peggy in a press conference and had the audacity to refer to her as “the city’s first lady.” Uhhhhh…

Or as Deacon would say, nnnnnope.

Loose, Gorgeous Connie Britton Wave of the Week:

Eh. She can do better. Theme of the night.

How will Olivia bitchslap Juliette — physical confrontation or a leak to the press? Are Megan and Deacon destined to stay together longer than Deacon and that Rainy-Day-Rayna-haired vet? Has anyone ever found even one thing redeeming about Tandy?

Discuss!

Follow @AnnieBarrett

Episode Recaps

Legendary music icon Rayna Jaymes struggles to maintain her place in the spotlight while dealing with the ambitious rising pop vixen Juliette Barnes.
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