Modern Family recap: Trading Places

Let me start off by saying that I really related to tonight’s episode of Modern Family. No, not the learning-lessons and walking-a-mile-in-another-person’s-shoes message, but Cam dying on the couch. I too have whatever disease he had — but that certainly didn’t stop me from thoroughly enjoying our favorite family. In fact, for roughly 22 minutes I forgot about my violent sneezing and runny nose (kinda). Thank you to the wonderful Fred Savage for directing this great episode. Yup, that Fred Savage from The Wonder Years directed tonight’s episode! Ah, how our little Kevin Arnold has grown.

We all know that this show loves a good theme. And while tonight’s theme of switching roles definitely wasn’t subtle, it was still clever. We saw Mitchell forced into Cam’s caregiver role, Jay borrowing a little of Gloria’s compassion, and, best of all, Phil attempting to play the disciplinarian while Claire tried to be “the fun one, dammit!”

When it comes to Mitchell and Cam, I would say that Cam usually steals the show. But tonight, with Cam down for the count, Mitchell got to really shine. His giddy desire to go to the Lady Gaga concert (complete with a little Monster dance and glowstick necklace) was hysterical. It was nice to see him break out of his shell. And while we saw him embrace his looser side, he managed to maintain his signature disgust and sarcasm that we’ve come to know and love.

But if I had to pick an MVP of the evening, it would go to Phil, hands down. Though I loved watching Claire “be fun” in her own obsessive-compulsive, ridiculously intense way, it was Phil’s tyrannical lockdown that had me in stitches (props to Haley’s and Alex’s fearful reactions to him as well). When he jumped onto the roof of their car, I nearly died. But then he topped it off by taping the girls’ laptops shut with duct tape (hopefully parents out there won’t get any ideas), only to put that move to shame when he said to Haley, “Well, it’s either that or we cut off all your hair, because that’s what caused the problem” when she hesitated to stick a hanger down the clogged drain. To see the sweet, slightly dense Phil turn into Mommie Dearest in the blink of an eye was as shocking as it was sidesplitting. Bravo, Ty Burrell, bravo.

NEXT: The best lines of the night (oh, how do I pick?)

And now, without further ado, on to some of the many fabulous lines of the night…

“Ew, gross, what happened to you?” –Mitchell, finding Cam sick on the couch

“I’ve been looking forward to that concert for months; it’s the one gay cliché I allow myself.” –Mitchell about possibly missing the Lady Gaga concert (while trying to assume a masculine sitting position)

“Sorry, should have taken the temperature of the room first.” –Phil, bombarding his way into a fight between Claire and the kids

“Can I just say, in Europe this would be no big deal.” –Manny about walking into Haley and Alex’s room while they were changing

“What was good about Luke’s report card?” –Claire

“He didn’t lose it.” –Phil (sheepishly)

“Because I’m your dad, and because I’m older than you.” –Phil, attempting to discipline Haley and Alex (before he turned into the cleaning tyrant)

“All I want when I go to bed at night is to be lying next to a man that is generous and giving…and that man doesn’t necessarily needs to be you.” –Gloria, blackmailing Jay (and yes, she said “needs”)

“Or we could sell the tickets online, but there’s that Craigslist Killer.” –Mitchell, not wanting to sell his Lady Gaga tickets

“What are you doing?” –Mitchell to Claire when he heard the roar of the go-karts

“Making my kids love me!” –Claire’s response to Mitchell

“See, you don’t need all the conflict. Note to Claire: If you want intense family drama, rent Spy Kids. They saved their parents’ lives—do you think they would have done that if they got yelled at all the time?” –Phil

“Sweet-and-sour chicken!” –Phil, realizing that the girls didn’t clean the bathroom like they said they did

“Clearly my wife needs to be inoculated.” –Jay about Gloria’s overenthusiasm for Guillermo’s invention

“But I’m nice and I put on the sugar jacket.” –Gloria, meaning “sugar coating” (can someone please give her her own spin-off, please?)

“What, are you going to the ball, Cinderella? Live a little.” –Claire to Manny when he wanted to order a grilled chicken breast

“I’m 12, I need limits.” –Luke to Claire after yakking in the car from eating too much junk food (that Claire forced him to eat)

“I don’t like being you.” –Phil to Claire

“Nobody does.” –Claire’s response

So, my MFFs, what did you think of tonight’s Freaky Friday-inspired episode? Did you enjoy the glimpse of Phil’s dark side? Did anyone catch Manny’s face when Jay handed him the dog? Pure joy! And, finally, which lines did I miss?