Warning: This post contains spoilers for The Masked Singer season 3 episode 3.
The Masked Singer may have gone for a Love Boat-type feel with its Valentine’s Day episode, but it came off more Twilight Zone with how bizarrely surreal the 45-minute viewing experience turned out to be.
The White Tiger — who EW is 99.9 percent sure is former Patriots player Rob Gronkowski — strip-danced on stage. There was a Fabio reference in the year of our Lord 2020. Ken Jeong — who is 11 years Nick Cannon’s senior — referred to the host as his “daddy”?? And, most puzzling of all, sending seasoned vet Miss Monster home over a (poorly) rapping Tiger.
If you had come up to me just 3 years ago to say that this carnival funhouse of a show would capture my — and much of America’s — attention, I would’ve said, “Who are you and how did you get in my house?” But at EW, we’ve learned to accept — nay, embrace — the madness that is The Masked Singer.
The episode opened with a group number to Kiss’ “I Wanna Rock N Roll All Nite.” Then, the Fox singing competition switched up the normal clue packages by having people close to the Group A costumed crooners provide some insight into who they are.
First, Turtle’s high-school teacher (whose identity was also kept hidden) sang his praises, and then the rocker reptile belted out Shawn Mendes’ “There’s Nothin’ Holding Me Back.”
Then it was Miss Monster’s turn, and her hairstylist gave the audience some hints about her. Afterward, she sang Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me.”
The third contestant to perform was Kangaroo, whose celebrity identity has been one of the toughest to decipher. Her younger brother spoke about her, and then she showed everyone a hoppin’ good time with her rendition of Rihanna’s “Diamonds.”
Given the V-Day theme, all the contestants gifted one of the panelists a valentine. Even guest panelist Leah Remini got one, while Jeong was left high and dry. Hey, maybe that’s karma for his awful guess that Celine Dion was Miss Monster earlier this season? Ever the peacemaker, the actress gave him some love in the form of smooches all over Jeong’s face.
Last up was White Tiger. First, his college roommate shared a telling anecdote about trying to pick up women by saying they were “professional dancers of the Magic Mike variety.” Then he performed, and let’s just say it was truly … something. If you’re a fan of Macklemore or Asher Roth, the White Tiger’s performance of the Queen classic “We Will Rock You” will surely satisfy your musical needs. If you’re not, well, hope you liked the twerking and gyrating he did as well.
The panelists ate up White Tiger’s performance, despite — or because of — his off-pitch moments. “You go for any note. It doesn’t even matter,” panelist Nicole Scherzinger exclaimed.
Fellow celebrity sleuth Jenny McCarthy was also all in, saying she hoped White Tiger can make it to the final Super Nine. “We are in love with you,” she gushed. Speak for yourself, Jenny!
While the rest of the panel made reasonable guesses like Gronk and Joe Manganiello, Jeong took the inspired route and threw Fabio’s name out as White Tiger’s true identity all because of a butter clue. (The former male model was once the face of the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! campaign.)
And even though Jeong was snubbed by the contestants, he ended up receiving a valentine from Cannon, whom he called “daddy” at the top of the show. “Your daddy would never let you down,” the emcee reassured Jeong. Hmmm. The former doc opened his valentine from Cannon to reveal the message, “Ken, I am not your father.”
The whole exchange raised the question, is everyone on this show okay? Has Cannon been trapped in the studio since season 2 slowly going crazy? Did Jeong get poisoned by chemicals from Remini’s lipstick?
We may never get the answer to these questions, but as Cannon would say, one thing we do know is who went home tonight.
The audience and panelists spoke, and Miss Monster was voted out because there is no justice in this world.
She was unveiled to be … Queen of Funk Chaka Khan! As a few of the panelists noted, Khan’s seasoned tone gave her away, as well as the hints about her famous hair (she also released a wig line with her stylist).
So it’s official: White Tiger, Turtle, and Kangaroo have made it to the Super Nine. Join us next week as we begin the same cycle with Group B — Banana, Elephant, Frog, Mouse, Taco, and Kitty — to see which three will grab the top spots alongside the Group A victors.
- Miss Monster came to have fun, not compete on The Masked Singer
- Nicole Scherzinger wants to make sweet music with Masked Singer celeb — but it’s not Thingamajig
- The Masked Singer adds Gabriel Iglesias, Will Arnett, and more as season 3 guest stars
- EW’s The Masked Singer season 3 predictions