Lucifer recap: 'What Would Lucifer Do?'
Amenadiel tries to walk a mile in Lucifer’s Italian loafers. It does not go well.
Can the devil ditch his devilish ways? Lucifer uses Chloe’s latest case to prove that people can’t change, while at the same time encouraging Amenadiel to shake things up a bit.
We open on Lucifer at the height of his “let’s make a deal” powers, caught in bed with a local judge’s much-younger wife. Clad in said wife’s too-short kimono, Lucifer gets the judge to confess that his true desire is a woman who engages his mind more than his libido.
No problem, Lucifer says. He’ll keep the judge’s new bride, erm, busy while the judge reconnects with his age-appropriate ex-wife, thereby letting both of them reaffirm who they are today by embracing who they used to be. In the end, the judge comes away owing Lucifer a favor, which is impressive negotiating.
Less free with the favors is Marcus, who flatly denies Chloe’s résumé-building request to fill the vacant union rep position. But he does pass along a new murder before booting her out of his office. Watching from the hallway, Ella’s blown away by their sexual chemistry, which (rightly) baffles Chloe.
The murder victim of the week is Emily Goddard, a counselor at Fire Hawk Transformational Center, who was stabbed, resulting in a fall from her second-story window into a horse trough below. The juvenile reform program is run by ex-con/former addict Jerry Blackcrow, who says Emily was beloved by the residents, so the murderer had to have been an outsider.
Jerry believes that rehabilitation is possible for the kids in his care, who earn rewards such as phone time and computer access with their good behavior. Lucifer, skeptical that people can change, openly accuses the assembled Fire Hawk residents of murder, and his hunch seems to bear fruit when a tool belt turns up with the pruning saw missing. The belt belongs to Tyson Chase, who’s been in and out of juvie since he was 7. Fire Hawk was his last chance, but it appears he’s cut and run.
At HQ, Marcus chides Chloe for not making an arrest yet, and after his abrupt departure, Ella makes adorably lewd (lewdly adorable?) gestures that Chloe doesn’t appreciate. When she complains to Dan about Marcus’ treatment of her, he suggests that their boss’s problem might be with her partner. She realizes she shouldn’t cut any corners using Lucifer’s usual methods.
But Lucifer wants to prove that Tyson’s still a criminal. The kid’s juvenile records are sealed, so Lucifer interrupts the judge (who’s busy playing Go Fish with wife No. 1) to call in that favor. Armed with information about Tyson’s past crimes, Lucifer catches the kid stealing a car at his favorite car-stealing spot.
When Tyson says he’d rather die than go back to Fire Hawk, Lucifer calls Tyson’s bluff, taking the kid on the scariest ride of his life that ends with him dangling out of the car over a canyon. He offers to tell Lucifer anything he wants.
Under interrogation, Tyson’s upset to hear about Emily’s death; he recently turned 18 and wanted Emily to leave the ranch with him. The night she died, they fought about her plans to expel a resident for violating the rules.
Dan, Chloe, and Lucifer can’t agree on whether Tyson’s telling the truth, causing Marcus to grump about their lack of consensus and then praise Lucifer as a good influence for threatening Tyson and perhaps scaring him straight.
Naturally, this offends Lucifer, who heads to Fire Hawk to solicit the residents’ true desires: money, drugs, their father’s love, video games, Instagram model. Sensing opportunity, Lucifer rolls a white board into the barn and launches into a lecture about dealing drugs the right way. (He recommends utilizing the Paraguay corridor, FYI.)
One resident, Carly, is unimpressed because she’s already cultivating plenty of marijuana with nothing more than irrigation and a south-facing slope. In no time, Lucifer’s whipped the residents into a well-oiled pot processing machine. He’s surveying their work from the back of a white stallion, making them recite mantras such as “drugs not hugs,” when Chloe walks in.
Okay, let’s leave Lucifer to his implausibly grandiose scheme to turn these kids into drug kingpins and check in on Amenadiel — a.k.a. the best part of the episode. He tells Lucifer about his epiphany with Dr. Linda: Lucifer’s the key to getting his powers back, although he’s not sure if he needs to help him, teach him, or learn from him. “Tell me how to Lucifer,” Amenadiel requests.
A delighted Lucifer prescribes a makeover, starting with Amenadiel smiling more. It’s … not a natural look for him. Lucifer gives Amenadiel free access to his closet and all of his social media accounts, including Insta, Snapchat, and Grindr, concluding, “Just ask: What would Lucifer do?”
That night, Amenadiel puts on his best Lucifer game face and prowls into the club with nary a cardigan sweater in sight. (Does this mean Lucifer’s clothes magically adjust to fit a more swole figure?) For Amen, alas, “What do you desire” works only slightly better than “Guess what? You get to have sex with me!” The night looks like a loss until a woman hands him a napkin to wipe up the drink that gets tossed in his face. (Recap continues on next page)
The next thing we know, Dan’s checking his phone, chuckling, and heading to lockup, where Amenadiel may have had a disagreement with a pimp after possibly escorting a prostitute from the club and then getting into a tiny argument about payment that ended with the dour angel behind bars. Thankfully, the watch commander is Dan’s old training officer and cuts Amenadiel lose.
The two men head back to the club, where Amenadiel explains the “walk a mile in Lucifer’s Italian loafers” plan to Dan. Dan thinks doing what you want, driving a dope car, and bedding the hottest ladies sounds fantastic, but Amenadiel calls it lonely. While they may not agree on Lucifer’s lifestyle, they do agree to have each other’s backs.
Back at the station, Chloe learns that Emily was going to expel Carly for running a drug operation, making her suspect No. 1. But Carly has the records to prove she was chatting online with her boyfriend the night of the murder, although she says she saw Tyson burying something under the sundial.
As Ella and Chloe excavate the site, Chloe picks Ella’s brain for insight into why Marcus consistently questions her judgment. Ella says she didn’t think Marcus liked her, either, until he handed her cream and sugar for her coffee, indicating he’d noticed how she drank it. Chloe should pay attention to his actions, not his words, she concludes. (I guess we know what Marcus’ love language is.)
This conversation ends when they dig up Tyson’s pruning saw with Emily’s blood on it. But before they arrest Tyson, Chloe starts wondering: If only good kids get privileges, why was soon-to-be-expelled Carly allowed online?
Rather than accompany Chloe back to Fire Hawk to find out, Lucifer opts to pay a call on the judge’s current wife — you know, to keep up his end of the deal — so Marcus volunteers to accompany Chloe instead.
When Chloe takes this opportunity to complain about his treatment of her, Marcus explains that the union rep job is for has-beens, not one of his best detectives. She’s slightly placated when Jerry suddenly opens fire on them. Marcus shoves Chloe behind him and take a shot in his abdomen, allowing Jerry to escape as Chloe calls for help.
This is a good news/bad news situation for Lucifer. On one hand, Jerry the ex-con ran drugs with Carly and murdered Emily, which proves Lucifer’s point about people not changing. On the other hand, Lucifer chose to be with another woman instead of Chloe, and it all went south.
With revenge on his mind, Lucifer locates Jerry at the marina, preparing to sail for freedom. When Jerry grabs the gun with the criminal’s requisite “I’m not going back to jail!” Lucifer moves inhumanly fast to deliver a punishment far worse than that. He wails on Jerry until Amenadiel, who tracked Lucifer through a dating app, stops him. Lucifer wants to know why he shouldn’t just kill Jerry. Once evil, always evil, after all.
Amenadiel corrects him: “No, Luci. You’re not evil. You’re the devil. You punish evil.”
The next day, Chloe brings a hospitalized Marcus a basket of what looks like delicious snacks as a thank you for saving her life. He gets downright pensive about how close he came to death before snapping out of it and telling her he couldn’t let anything happen to his best detective.
Flustered, Chloe babbles about life being short and living while you can. Marcus calls her special and says he understands why Lucifer’s so affected by her. Well, that’s practically a marriage proposal, coming from Marcus.
Then Dan stops by to thank Marcus for giving him the union rep position. “You earned it, buddy,” Marcus says. Ha ha, ouch! Poor butt-of-every joke Dan.
We close the week with an uncomfortable brother chat. Lucifer says despite the subtraction of his devil face and the addition of his angel wings, he’s still a punisher. (But not the Punisher; that premieres Nov. 17.) Amenadiel argues that Lucifer was actually trying to punish himself for not being there when Chloe was in danger. “This is good, Luci. This is so good!” he says, vowing to have Lucifer’s back as he continues to evolve.
But Lucifer responds to this kindness in the worst possible way, reminiscing about a man he tortured in hell whose self-loathing made him crave Lucifer’s cruel attention. “He reminded me of you,” Lucifer concludes, describing Amenadiel as nipping at his heels, powerless and pathetic.
Amenadiel absorbs this, then assures Lucifer that he’s still there for him, no matter how much Lucifer tries to drive him away. After his brother leaves, Lucifer drains his highball glass and hurls it into a mirror, which reflects his cracked and distorted image back at him. Subtle it ain’t, but it is effective.
- Lucifer with mussed hair is the best Lucifer.
- Sex in a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit is the worst sex.
- Ella and Amenadiel are the two purest characters on television.
- Dipping potato chips into Nutella, as a stoned Lucifer does, is a solid life choice.