Lucifer recap: 'Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better'
Lucifer's honest about his feelings for Chloe, but it happens too late
At last, at last, at last, Lucifer had a mature reckoning about his feelings for Chloe.
Alas, alas, alas, it happened too late.
Iin the end, if we learn nothing from this week’s episode, it’s that Dr. Linda is wise and should be listened to.
But first, Pierce’s change of heart: Now that the Mark of Cain is gone, Lucifer’s offer to end his long life with a big rock doesn’t sound so appealing. Pierce is convinced that he became mortal thanks to Chloe’s love, and with this new lease on life, he sets to win her back so they can grow old together. Lucifer, however, interprets the removal of the mark as yet another punishment from God, because of course he does.
At the week’s crime scene, Lucifer demonstrates his usual, erm, tact by telling a red-eyed and broken-hearted Chloe that he hopes they never see “that lying lieutenant” ever again.
And then the lying lieutenant rolls up on his motorcycle and approaches Chloe AT THE CRIME SCENE to tell her that he got scared the night before, but he does love her and wants to be with her. Instead of being like, “Hi, investigating a murder here,” Chloe tells him she can’t trust what he says anymore.
So. Murder. Prima ballerina Raina was strangled with the ribbons from a pair of shoes, and when Lucifer compares the murderer to scum like Pierce, Chloe tells him to button it because their relationship is none of his business. “Whether I decide to take Piece back or not, it has nothing to do with you,” she snaps, ripping a folder out of Lucifer’s hands and giving him a nasty paper cut.
A nasty papercut that bleeds. Suddenly, Chloe and her relationship are his business again because if Pierce is vulnerable due to Chloe’s love, well, Lucifer’s vulnerable, too, which means a part of her also loves him. This logical leap requires us to a) subscribe to Pierce’s theory that vulnerability only comes from Chloe’s love, and b) said love is a zero-sum game that Chloe can only feel for one person.
Lucifer explains the situation to Dr. Linda and hatches a plan to get Chloe off the fence and make her see that he’s better than that “charming oaf” Pierce. He goes charging out, leaving Linda to mutter, “Why do I feel like I should’ve stopped him this time?” In reality, Lucifer should probably be stopped every time, don’t you think?
Lucifer’s wooing of Chloe beings with buying her a latte and a lemon bar, her favorite. But good ol’ Pierce baked her a whole plate of lemon bars as an apology, and if anybody’s keeping track, lemon bars are excellent apology fodder for me, too.
Ella then comes in with the news that she traced specific ingredients on the ribbons of the murder weapon shoe to Raina’s understudy, Amber, who’s assumed the role of prima ballerina following Raina’s death.
When Chloe and Lucifer interrupt the L.A. West Ballet practice, lead male dancer Miguel explains that everyone’s shaken by Raina’s murder. Amber professes her innocence and informs them that Raina left the company for a week to take a gig hosting America’s Next Prima Ballerina, but that fell through and she’s just returned to the troupe.
This leads the police to Miles Drucker, who oversees America’s Next Prima Ballerina. Drucker’s dancing career was cut short when he lost his leg in a car crash, and he used his triumph-over-tragedy story to become a world-famous choreographer.
When questioned, Drucker says he was blackmailed into hiring Raina, but when her accused her of being the blackmailer, she quit. To extract more information, Lucifer then hits him with the “what do you desire” whammy, reminding Chloe that that’s something Pierce can’t do. (She’s unimpressed.)
Drucker confesses that even though he built his brand on overcoming tragedy, the crash didn’t permanently injure him, and he actually wears a prosthetic over his undamaged leg. That’s…deeply messed up.
Pierce, meanwhile, continues his apology tour by covering Chloe’s car with roses and a note that reads, “No more empty words.” Incensed, Lucifer summons Amenadiel and asks his brother to help remove Pierce from the board by proving his Sinnerman/criminal underworld ties.
Amenadiel agrees, reasoning that he originally created Chloe to cross paths with Lucifer, and Lucifer is his earthly test, so if he brings those two together, he’ll land back in God’s good graces.
To prove Pierce’s evil, he enlists the help of Charlotte, who’s awaiting damnation by day-drinking wine in a three-star hotel. (“It’s what I deserve!” she insists.) Charlotte’s intrigued by the notion of helping Amenadiel enact God’s will, which might put her in His good graces, too.
Before you know it, she’s had Pierce’s phone tapped, and she and Amenadiel are snapping photos of him exchanging envelopes with a known fence. It’s shady, and Charlotte decides she needs to know what’s in the envelope. She commandeers a motorcycle from a startled civilian, kneeing him and explaining, “Don’t worry, it’s for God.”
After a motorcycle chase showing little concern for physical safety, Pierce corners Charlotte, who lies that she wanted to help him through his breakup. She tries to worm her hand into his jacket to get the envelope, but he says he’s in love with Chloe and removes her eager little paw.
Lucifer, meanwhile, decides to one-up Pierce by presenting Chloe with her very own extremely sexy convertible, proudly explaining that it’s a competition, and “anything Piece can do, I can do better.” Oh, Lucifer. Oh, honey.
Frustrated, Chloe tells him it’s not about stuff, hands back the keys, and walks away. (Next: Dr. Linda is the season MVP)
The next morning, Chloe finds Maze drinking coffee on her couch. They commiserate over how dumb men are, although Chloe declines Maze’s offer to thrash Pierce. Then Trixie comes out, sees Maze, and storms back into the bedroom.
Chloe asks how Maze knows when to trust people, but Maze only trusts pain — and Chloe should really take this statement to heart. In fact, Maze is furious that Pierce backed out of their plan to have her kill him, frame Lucifer for it, and ride that evil act back to Hell, so she’s setting a plot of her own into motion that will inevitably lead no place good.
Back to the murder. The blackmail email came from a laptop in an apartment registered under William Sterling, married chairman of L.A. West Ballet board. When Chloe arrives at the apartment, Lucifer’s already inside, thanks to an attractive neighbor with a key.
It’s clear that this was Sterling and Raina’s love nest, and when Sterling arrives, Lucifer suggests that he sent the blackmail video to get Raina a new job and then lost his temper when Raina rejected his gift — something Lucifer knows a little something about.
Sterling denies it, but at least the police discover the blackmail video on Raina’s laptop showing Drucker removing the prosthetic to reveal his real leg, which is creepy.
Then Pierce calls Chloe and invites her to his place for dinner for one more chance to prove that his love is more than words and flowers and lemon bars. She agrees. Lucifer overhears and quickly asks her to come to his place beforehand so he can express a few thoughts prior to meeting Pierce. She agrees to that, too.
When she arrives at his penthouse, she finds a candlelit table for two waiting for her. Lucifer pours champagne and says he wants her to make an appropriate decision about her — and their — future. Then he asks her to answer this question honestly: Isn’t this better than anything Pierce could do?
DAMMIT, LUCIFER, WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU.
Near tears, Chloe asks why he cares who she’s with, and Lucifer replies that she deserves someone better, although he doesn’t specify whom. As frustrated as I was with Chloe last week, she’s now giving him every chance to speak to her honestly here — she’s begging him to stake his claim — but he utterly fails. And it’s brutal.
Then Dan and Ella call with the news that they found the reflection of the lead dancer, Miguel, in a window in the blackmail video. When they arrive at the performance venue, Sterling’s right behind them with a gun, demanding to know why Miguel took Raina away from him.
Chloe also doesn’t understand why Miguel would risk everything to kill Raina, but Lucifer does. He explains that Miguel loves Amber, the understudy, and simply wanted Raina out of the way. But when she didn’t keep the new job, murder was Miguel’s only option to be with the woman he loved.
Miguel admits that he was afraid to tell Amber how he felt, but hearing it now, she tells him she returns his feelings. Unfortunately, their tender moment is interrupted with Chloe starts making arrests. Watching, Lucifer realizes that he ruined his chances with Chloe, just like Miguel.
Back at the penthouse, Lucifer’s sadly drinking alone when Linda arrives to check on him, but as a friend, not his therapist. Lucifer morosely confesses that he did everything he could to get Pierce out of the picture, when what he should’ve done was tell Chloe how he really feels.
And then Linda Martin proves why she’s the best character on this show.
“What are you so afraid of?” she demands. Lucifer’s still caught up in not wanting to be a cog in God’s master plan, but Linda tells him that his reasons for staying away from Chloe are all excuses. She argues that nobody really knows what God’s responsible for, and by not telling Chloe the truth, Lucifer is actually taking her choices away.
“So I ask you, the devil, what do you truly desire?” she concludes.
And Lucifer finally, finally, finally admits it: “I want her to choose me.” His words are sad, quiet…and ultimately too late.
Amenadiel and Charlotte arrive at Pierce’s to search for the evidence of his evil, only to find Pierce gone and the mysterious envelope empty.
And that’s because Pierce is with Chloe, dropping to one knee and telling her that she gives his life meaning after an eternity’s worth of mistakes.
He proposes, and Lucifer watches through the window as Chloe says yes.
- How are you doing, Deckerstar shippers? This wasn’t easy to watch, so…be good to yourself. Practice self-care. Remember happier times.
- Linda’s been so underused the last several episodes, but now I see that they were saving up all of her awesome for the last five minutes this week. Those are things someone needed to say to Lucifer ages ago. Kudos to Linda for finally being the one to do it.
- Even though I still don’t buy the Chloe/Pierce relationship and don’t understand why she insists he’s a good man all the time and worry that having her actually fall in love with him will have long-lasting effects on her character once he’s gone from the show, I nevertheless hope you’ll join me in tweeting at Fox to #RenewLucifer.