After a midseason break interrupted only by a flashback episode, we pick up with Pierce bleeding all over Lucifer’s bar following the reveal that he’s the world’s oldest murderer. He tells Lucifer that he killed the Sinnerman because his former right-hand man went rogue.
He cops to having Lucifer kidnapped and left in the desert but denies working with God to return Lucifer’s wings. When Lucifer threatens to tell the world who he really is, Pierce scoffs that nobody even believes that Lucifer’s the devil. Fair point, sir.
Chloe may not believe Lucifer’s the devil, but she’s definitely still angry with him for his actions during the Sinnerman debacle and for not apologizing afterward. Maze stops testing out her new knife long enough to advise Chloe that Lucifer’s never going to change. “He is who he is.”
So when Chloe gets a call that pro surfer Manny “the Moondog” Taylor was found choked to death with a surf leash on Carbon Beach, upsetting the wealthy property owners nearby, she doesn’t bother asking Lucifer to come along with her.
But he shows up anyway, although it’s to ask for Chloe’s help in investigating Pierce, not to apologize, so she kicks him off the beach, telling him to go spend time with the person he loves the most: himself.
Although Manny had a fight with fellow surfer “Dangerous Doug,” it’s not enough for a search warrant to look for DNA on Doug’s surf leash. So Chloe heads to the Huntington Swell Classic to see if she can get Doug to voluntarily turn over his leash for testing.
Before she leaves, though, she discovers Pierce packing his office, having put in for an immediate transfer. Chloe’s rattled and urges him to take some time to think about it, but he tells her it’s a done deal. Okay, seriously, somebody please remind me what it is that Chloe sees in this guy?
Lucifer, upset with his Chloe interaction, visits Dr. Linda. She urges him to see things from her perspective, and naturally, Lucifer gets excited by the thought that making it all about her could in turn cause her to make it all about him.
So he beats Chloe to Huntington and signs her up for the surf competition so she can get close to Doug, handing her a set of credentials and a tiny bikini, only one of which she accepts.
Chloe introducing herself to Doug as a fan, but just when she notices blood on his board, the monitors flash a photo of her in uniform as they announce that Chloe “the Detective” Decker’s the next surfer up. Lucifer’s not so great with the undercover legends, in other words.
Doug tries to run, but under questioning admits it’s because he recently collided with a seal and assumed the police were after him for killing “a dog of the sea.” Awww, RIP seal!
Lucifer, stung at being excluded from the interrogation, asks Detective Douche — er, Dan — for advice on making up with Chloe. Dan tells him to be thoughtful without getting in her face and launches into a story about making breakfast in bed, but when he turns around, Lucifer’s gone.
Also gone? All of Ella’s aggressive cheerfulness, which Charlotte notices immediately. Ella admits that Pierce told her that she talks too much, so she’s trying to tone it down, which absolutely breaks my heart.
Charlotte says that if she fell apart every time a man told her he didn’t like what she was doing, she’d be in a million pieces right now. Instead, she forged ahead, built her own law firm, and just look at her now, “in this entry-level DA job.” Ha! She advises Ella to get a thicker skin.
Not content just to mentor, Charlotte confronts Pierce at the coffee station, sneering, “You’re just that kind of bully who makes me miss my old self.” Yesss, put that old Charlotte Richards hauteur to use! Pierce is confused that a woman he never met is yelling at him, but he figures it out when Charlotte takes him to task for crushing Ella’s spirits.
Ella apparently took Charlotte’s words to heart because when Lucifer swings by her lab, she yells at him and then immediately apologizes, explaining that she was trying to figure out how to stand up for herself before Pierce transfers out of the precinct. The news sends Lucifer scurrying from the room.
Okay, time for a quick check-in with Amenadiel, who receives some shocking news this week: He’s contracted chlamydia. Ruh roh! When the doctor asks, he denies any risky sexual behavior, although he did accidentally having sex with a prostitute, and he’s currently making love to a woman he has genuine feelings for.
At the doctor’s urging, he calls his former partners to inform them, and when Maze gets the call, she’s with Linda. Maze congratulates her bestie for dodging that particular bullet.
But Linda’s clearly uneasy about the whole situation. When she and Amenadiel meet at a restaurant and he says he wants to make their relationship public, she counters that they should stop seeing each other altogether.
Then Amen’s phone chimes with a message from the doctor saying it was a false positive on the chlamydia thing. But it doesn’t change Linda’s position that no matter how much she likes him, she can’t date her friend’s ex. Still, they really do like each other, and even this attempted breakup doesn’t keep them from smooching in public. Unfortunately, Maze is watching from a nearby table and stabs it in anger. Oooh, this unfolding drama ought to be gooooood. (Next page: Pierce spills his secrets)
Now back to the case: Dan discovers that the Orcas, a Huntington surf gang, scare people off their turf by choking them with surf leashes, so he heads undercover as a surfer to provoke them into a fight. The plan is that once they’ve started beating on him, he’ll say “surf’s up” and Chloe and Pierce will move in for the arrest, allowing them to test the surf leashes for Manny’s DNA.
In the surveillance van, Chloe continues to wheedle Pierce into staying without actually telling him that she’d miss him. Then Lucifer arrives, and Chloe hops out to let him talk to Pierce privately, reminding them to listen for Dan’s code words.
When the two men are alone, Pierce grabs Lucifer by the jaw and asks to be compelled to reveal his deepest desire. When Lucifer complies, Pierce grits out, “I want to die.” You see, Pierce may suffer the pain of mortal wounds, but he always heals. Consequently, he’s watched everything he’s ever known crumble to ashes over and over, and now he wants out.
Those files that we saw at the end of “Mrs. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith” were his records on all the celestial beings on Earth. When he learned about the detective who made the Devil bleed, it gave him hope that she could do the same for him. So you see, his presence in L.A. has nothing to do with Lucifer and everything to do with Chloe. He arranged for Lucifer to be kidnapped so he could test out his theory, but Lucifer sprouted wings, came back early, and ruined the whole plan.
Pierce’s next attempt was tipping off the shooter at the ranch so he’d get shot in Chloe’s presence, but it didn’t kill him, ending his dreams of being able to die. Hearing this, Lucifer’s angry that Pierce put Chloe in danger, but Pierce shrugs it off, which is pretty much all you need to know about both men.
Meanwhile, Dan managed to successfully provoke a fight with the Orcas and, bleeding, says, “I guess that means surf’s up.” But nobody responds.
When Dan’s mic goes silent, Chloe pushes her way into the van, where she discovers Dan missing. She, Pierce, and Lucifer run to the beach to find him in the middle of a paddle-out ceremony with the Orcas to honor Manny’s spirit.
As they float on their boards in a circle, Dan admits that he thought they killed Manny, but the Orcas say they never go to Carbon, where Manny’s body was found, because they aren’t welcome at the private beaches. Then they complete the lovely ritual, tossing bundles of flowers into the ocean and splashing joyously.
At the precinct, Dan tries to convince Chloe that someone framed the Orcas, but she’s too distracted by her new Lucifer-supplied filing system to listen. In an attempt at making it up to her, he’s sorted her paperwork into “sexy victims,” “obvious killers,” and “boring crimes” and made her desktop wallpaper a photo of him in his skivvies.
She explodes, asking why he doesn’t consider how his actions hurt her and accuses him of only helping her to get her to help him. But Lucifer announces that he doesn’t need her help anymore; he’s there because the case matters to her, so it matters to him, too.
This changes things for her, and she tells him to lead with that next time. He’s thrilled that there’ll be a next time. And then as she starts to undo his insane filing system, she remembers that California doesn’t have private beaches, which means that any “private beach” signs would’ve been posted illegally.
A little research turns up a Carbon Beach property owner who’s been doing just that, so Chloe and Lucifer set up beach chairs in front of her home, ostentatiously drinking champagne and luring her out of her abode to yell at them.
While she’s on the beach berating them for trespassing, the police move in, searching her home until they find a surf leash. The homeowner confesses that she killed Manny to try to scare people away from her nice private beach. Lucifer’s shocked to hear that the murder wasn’t personal, and Manny was a means to an end. This gets him thinking, and when Chloe turns to him to toast their success, she finds him gone. “He is who he is,” she shrugs, sipping her champers.
That night, Pierce stops by Ella’s lab and she launches into him. Yes, she talks a lot, but most people seem to like it, and more importantly, she likes it. Pierce agrees that he was rude and apologizes for being in a bad place and taking it out on her. Ella, sweetheart that she is, immediately offers a hug, which he accepts.
Then he heads outside, but before he rolls out of town forever, Lucifer comes screeching into the parking lot with the answer to the mystery of his wings: They has nothing to do with Lucifer and everything to do with Pierce. God wanted to keep Pierce from defying Him and dying, so he returned Lucifer’s wings to ruin Pierce’s plan.
“God screwed us both,” Lucifer says, and suggests that they work together to screw God right back by finding a way for Pierce to die. Pierce makes a deal with the Devil and agrees to stay, hoping to find a way to end his misery.
- Are surf gangs…a thing? A thing I’m too landlocked to know about?
- Kevin Alejandro was recently featured in Men’s Fitness, and it made me wonder why he’s never shirtless on the show. Thanks for fixing that, Lucifer!
- So was Amenadiel actually sick when he’d never been before? If so, I wonder if this has larger implications, or if it’s going to be one-and-done with no additional explanation required.
- I’m torn about the Pierce reveal. On the one hand, his plan seems overly elaborate; why not just stand next to Chloe and shoot yourself? On the other hand, this reveal gives his character focus and direction, and I’m looking forward to seeing how he and Lucifer will work together — and around Chloe — to achieve it.
- Are you more or less invested in Pierce now that we know his motives? Let me know in the comments!