Rose and Locke have something in common: They don't want to leave the island that they believe ''cured'' them; plus, Michael's back!
Credit: Lost: Mario Perez/ABC

”Lost”: Rose’s miracle cure

Okay, this one got to me. I can admit it. I’m secure in my manhood. For example, just dare me to shoot a rope in two. I’ll do it, Jack-style, lickety-split.

But I don’t want to suggest that this was any sort of Jack episode. Oh, no. We were reminded that our Jack is a cowboy, that he’s got skillz and planz and a strategy for confronting The Others. (To wit: Trade NotHenry for Walt.) He and Kate hit the woods with a single pistol loaded with sexual tension. They end up in a net, grappling for the gun. My friend Liz notes: Rather than using ”one of Locke’s 600 knives,” they break out the firearms. Jack actually shoots them free! Hilarious. Finally, on the edge of the forest, they get a return on their efforts: Michael tumbles out of the bush in a heap. Michael! That guy who used to yell Waaaaalt a lot! He’s back!

Charlie and Eko are building a church; Locke’s drawing the blast-door map from memory and flirting with full-on button abstinence. Fine stuff. But not terribly important: For this was Rose and Bernard’s episode. Rose and Bernard, mere cute-couple window-dressing until now, take center stage. They’re not an old old couple. They’re a new old couple, who met and married less than a year prior to the crash. Another wrinkle: Rose is dying of an undisclosed cancer. Even more mystifying: Bernard is… a dentist!(Okay, not so mystifying, unless you were wondering why everyone on the island has such perfect teeth.

Why was the happy couple honeymooning in Australia? Bernard was taking Rose to a faith healer named Isaac of Uluru. Uluru is the aboriginal name for Ayers Rock, the iconic natural mound of the Aussie Outback. It’s a major point of interest for New Age types. (Go here for more on this magnetic natural marvel and its purported cosmic significance.) But Isaac can do nothing for Rose. But he suggests there’s another place — with different magnetic energies — that can help her. For those keeping score at home, that’s two mentions of magnetic mojo in as many weeks. (NotHenry last week told us that the Hatch made a sound like ”a giant magnet” when the countdown ended.)

So… as the Hatch orientation film and countless Web hints have told us, magnetism is key. And it might cure what ails ye. The island heals: It restored Locke’s legs, and now we know it cured Rose’s cancer (according to Rose, whose faith in miracles is very much restored). Now we know how Charlie ”got better” after his hanging. And while the producers have said that anyone who dies on the island is very much dead, clearly, people can bounce back from quite a lot.

Problem is, once you’re healed, you’re bound to the island, or so Rose surmises. She has no intention of leaving. And once she shares this belief with Bernard, he agrees — wholeheartedly and without question. (Though I suppose a guy who’d give $10,000 to a faith healer probably wouldn’t have any trouble believing in a magic island.) Unless I’m much mistaken (or just a big sissy), there wasn’t a dry eye in the viewership when Bernard said, ”You’re never leaving this island, Rose. And if you’re not leaving, I’m not leaving.” My friend Liz totally cried. Me? Well, I’m more of a rootin’ tootin’ rope shootin’ kinda man. Who totally cried.

Did you cry? What are the larger implications of Rose and Bernard’s story? Is it all about magnets? And what new information will Michael’s return bring?

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