On ''Lost,'' the tough chick plays Sawyer to get a gun, but it's turned on her by the suddenly treacherous Michael

”Lost”: Ana Lucia gets a gun

Guys. Guys! I’ve solved Lost. For, like, the fifth time. I watched that Hanso Foundation commercial 60 times, I called the number and listened to that cryptic busy signal, I’ve studied the new Hanso logo, and…I’ve got it. The logo: It’s pretty much…the Chili’s logo! The Hanso Foundation is a Chili’s! A Chili’s gone terribly, terribly wrong.

Yeah, I couldn’t get through either. And the new website is freaking me out. (I don’t like the way that 105-year-old orangutan is looking at me.) So I’m going to flip off the mythology for a second and concentrate on this episode. Which, I must admit, was a little flat and vexing overall. Right up until those fantastic final seconds.

So: Ana Lucia. Former cop. Amateur murderer. Better known to most fans as the Least Popular Character Ever. Congratulations, haters: Your witch is dead, gut-shot by a much changed Michael. What a relief, right? ‘Cause I’ve read your posts, fans, and I have a feeling you weren’t happy when May sweeps kicked off with an episode all about Ana Lu: her resignation from the LAPD, her second career as an airport ”wander” (nice pun, writers), and her impulsive flight to Sydney as the hired muscle for, yes, Jack’s late father. Why did he need the sort of hair-trigger ”protection” only Ana Lu can provide? Unclear. He was down there looking for his — gasp! — daughter, Jack’s — gasp! — sister. (Let the speculation begin: Who’s Jack’s long-lost sib? Claire, maybe?)

Seems Ana Lu had a come-to-Jesus down there in Wallabyworld, perhaps spurred by Jack’s grief over his dead father. (Not that she knew the emotional gentleman at the ticket counter was the son of the very man she’d accompanied to Australia.) She’d decided to go back home, to face her mother, her demons, and, maybe, that pesky murder investigation. Then, of course, she was delayed by the plane crash. And now it appears she’ll be further delayed by what appears to be death. Quick death, by gunshot. As opposed to slow death by Sawyer VD.

That’s right, kids. Horror-movie rules apply on this island. You get laid? You get laid out. Especially if you’re an XX chromosome. Shannon found that out the hard way. Now the curse continues. In the course of stealing Sawyer’s gun, Ana Lu also stole a few carnal thrills in the island weeds. (Sidebar: Does anyone besides Sawyer use ”well, well, well” as a greeting?) She didn’t want anyone to know, and now, unless Sawyer gets confessional, no one ever will. And Libby got shot for just contemplating sex with Hurley. That is cold.

(Actually, I’m not convinced Libby’s dead. Michael shot right into the blankets she was holding over her lower abdomen. We saw no blood. Why? Because Libby is, once again, hiding something. She’s hiding a lot of things, methinks.)

Meanwhile, Henry Gale went (back) to work on Locke, flattering him, telling him he’s ”one of the good ones,” indulging his whole providential vision of the island. This threw Locke — clearly, he’s not such a fool that he’d buy it all, hook, line and sinker. But he certainly absorbed it. It’s unclear how he feels about Jack’s new offensive. He wants to be included, yes, but he’s doing nothing to dampen Jack’s increasingly militant spirits. The good doctor is done screwing around. He ain’t playing mango poker with Mr. Well, Well, Well, anymore. He’s shoving a gun in his face and saying, See this thing I’m pointing at you? I’d like more of these, please. And pronto.

Ah, little good the extra firearms will do him. Michael’s luring them into a trap, probably in exchange for his son. He said the Others are lightly armed and living like animals — which we know to be untrue. (Again, why didn’t Kate pipe up about that fake beard in the medical hatch?)

So the stage is set for a showdown. And in the intervening week, we’ll all be wading through gobs of alternate-reality clues, sifting through dummy websites, and calling numbers that stubbornly refuse to…wait, I just got through! I’m hearing weird stuff about the Widmore Corporation, hacked voice-mails, something about the fictional musician Geronimo Jackson, someone called Persephone…a lot of ads for Sprite and Monster.com…and…yes…there it is…”Chili’s, may I take your order please?” Yes, Chili’s, you may! I am starving for answers! And jalapeño poppers!

(No, literalists, Chili’s is neither a sponsor of the Lost Experience alternate-reality game nor a part of the larger Lost mystery. It’s just late, and I’m hungry. And susceptible to advertising.)

What do you think? Is Michael being blackmailed or has he switched sides? Will the two tribes go to war? And if you’re sad to see Ana Lucia go, speak now!

Episode Recaps

  • TV Show
  • 6
stream service