By Lincee Ray
June 26, 2019 at 10:00 PM EDT
Kevin Estrada/The CW
S5 E14
B+
type
  • TV Show
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Genre

Even though Jane and Rafael are an engaged couple, our trusty narrator warned us that the future isn’t necessarily bright for these two lovebirds. In fact, it’s downright stormy. Both figuratively and literally.

All our characters seem to be playing a waiting game. Rogelio is desperate for his pilot to be picked up. Xo wants to get into nursing school. Jane is itching to check off items on her wedding to-do list. But when her family is too distracted to help, Rafael steps in as a dutiful groom to offer his services.

Jane has decided to use a Unitarian minister since Rafael is not fully on board with the Catholic faith. Check. Rafael says that he wants to get married outside. Check. Lina arrives in a few hours to help out with the wedding dress. Check.

You remember Lina, right? Jane’s best friend who used to work at the Marbella is a fashion student in New York and is flying in to help the bride nail down the perfect gown for the big day. She even talks Jane out of her idea to wear a mermaid-inspired dress, since that’s what she was wearing the first time she and Rafael met. Call me crazy, but I would at least like to see a mock-up of that monstrosity.

Jane notices Lina’s somber tone and within seconds, her friend shares that she and her husband are having trouble conceiving. There were tears, a few hiccups, a consoling hug by Jane, and one big request. Lina wants one of Jane’s eggs. And we’re not talking about the scrambled kind Jane serves in the bistro.

Lina explains that she doesn’t want a random donor. Plus, her sisters are straight up crazy. Lina looks up to Jane and wants her kid to be just like her. Jane is flattered, a little weirded out, and promises to talk to Rafael about it at dinner.

Of course, with Jane’s family, there’s no circumstance where she can share such big news with just her fiancé. Jorge will find out from Alba, who learns from Xo, who tells Rogelio who then shares the news with all of his Instagram followers since he’s decided to live stream until This Is Mars is picked up by a network.

Rogelio: It’s like a hunger strike, but less sad.

Jane announces to the family that Lina is struggling to have a baby and has asked Jane for an egg. Everyone digests the news with plastered smiles on their faces. Rafael is the first to break the silence, assuring Jane that this is a TERRIBLE idea.

The rest of the family praises his bravery for speaking out and immediately agree that Jane would not be able to let go of the fact that Lina would be raising Jane’s biological child. In the end, Rafael calms the crowd by reminding everyone that it’s Jane’s body and Jane’s decision. They will support her no matter what.

The next day, Petra spies Rafael at the Marbella bar with a famous chef. When he leaves, Petra asks Rafael if he can introduce her. She wants to pitch a collaboration. Rafael agrees, but he secretly is rubbed the wrong way. He tells Jane that he would be interested in going back into the hotel business, especially the Marbella, since he put so much of his life’s work into that building.

Cue the thunder. Jane had no clue Rafael wanted to get back into the hotel business. But she’s a team player and she does her best to talk him off the ledge. She must have learned this skill from her mother because Xo is doing the exact same thing with Rogelio.

The guy refuses to step away from his live Instagram stream. He thinks that his fans will surely get the This Is Mars hashtag to trend and the executives will have to listen. He will not give up! He will not be silenced! He will totally turn it off when Xo suggests they have sex.

Here comes the thunder again. After their amorous activities have concluded, Xo lazily lays her head against Rogelio’s chest in post-coital bliss. She pops up when she hears an unusual rhythm in Rogelio’s heartbeat. He insists that she’s just super sensitive from all of her nursing school tests, but we know better. Something is going to happen to Rogelio.

Later, Lina and Jane sit at a beauty parlor, discussing wedding hair options. Lina gently mentions “the egg,” and Jane turns to her friend with a series of questions. What will Jane be to the kid? Would Mateo be a cousin? When will they tell the baby how he or she was conceived? Ah, there’s the thunder again. It’s clear that Lina hasn’t thought any of this through by her generic “we’ll figure that out” answers.

Speaking of figuring things out, Rafael takes Jane’s advice and talks to Petra about how weird things were at the hotel the other day. She agrees and apologizes for adjacently involving him. Instead of letting bygones be bygones, she offers him a job and opens the doors to his new office.

Well, his old office, but you get it. They brainstorm on how they can collaborate with the chef and decide on a pop-up restaurant. Rafael is pumped and calls Jane to tell her the good news. They have to ask the Unitarian minister to postpone their meeting, but Rafael promises to fill out the questionnaire before the next appointment. Jane pushes down those feelings of dread because Rafael is so happy. Do I even need to tell you about the thunder this time?

Later, when Jane picks up Mateo from school, she’s bombarded with an array of “congratulations” and “mazel tovs.” Mateo overheard Jane tell the family that she might be having a baby, so the little darling spread the good news all over school. How adorable! And awkward.

Jane must handle this delicately, and all alone, thanks to Rafael partying at the club until the wee hours of the morning with the chef. Mateo looks at his mother with confused eyes as she explains that she is not pregnant, but how “Lina’s eggs aren’t working” and that she is going to “let her borrow one of mine.” What a delightful bedtime story.

The next day, Lina buttons Jane up into an absolutely horrible dress (everyone agrees with me) and once again brings up the egg. Naturally, Jane has a new round of questions that Lina isn’t able to answer. Lina throws her hands up in the air, furious that Jane can not just let it go. Lina would be this baby’s mother — not Jane.

Plus, Lina feels like a complete loser already for not being able to conceive a child. Jane’s questioning just makes her feel like a bad mother before she’s even pregnant. Would she really ask all those questions if someone else was asking for her egg?

Jane tearfully reaches out to hug her friend. Of course, she wouldn’t be asking those questions. Because she wouldn’t be considering it for anyone else in the world.

Suddenly, we see Rogelio talking to his fans about the importance of exfoliating and moisturizing. Then he grabs his chest and falls face-first into his screen. THUNDERSTORM!

Jane arrives at the hospital, in the terrible dress, and learns that Rogelio is going to be okay. PHEW! He just had a small procedure. Rogelio sheepishly whispers to Jane, “Sorry I ruined your wedding dress shopping again,” and we are treated to a flashback when Rogelio tells Jane, as she’s trying on her first wedding dress, that he is her father.

Jane heads outside to let Lina know that Rogelio is okay. Lina brought her clothes from the bridal shop. She also brought a credit card receipt. Congratulations, Jane! You are now the owner of a dreadful dress!

This moment totally deserved thunder.

Appalling dress aside, something good did come out of Rogelio’s hospital stay. Jane pinpoints why she can’t let it go. It’s because she didn’t know the truth about her own father for so long. She wants this baby not to experience the trauma she did. Lina agrees that the baby will know as soon as he or she can understand.

Jane takes a few more hours to mull over her decision. As she stands at the Unitarian church, Rafael calls once again to cancel. To make matters worse, he didn’t fill out his questionnaire. Jane has to go in by herself and listen to the minister lecture her on if Rafael is taking this wedding seriously. THUNDER!

Meanwhile, Petra and Rafael tag team the chef, courting him to collaborate with the Marbella. Petra steps on Rafael’s toes and all hell breaks loose. Rafael asks Petra to promise she will never undermine him again. Petra counters with rock-solid truth: this is her hotel and she is the one who made it great.

Rafael walks out when Petra suggests partnering may not have been the best idea. He heads home and finds Jane in a mood as well. He point blank asks if it’s because he wasn’t at the meeting. She assures him that she’s just tired of thinking about the egg. THUNDER.

The next day, Jane bites the bullet and tells Lina that she will give her one of her eggs. Lina is thrilled at the news and then politely declines. NO THUNDER.

Lina honestly discloses that every time she thought about this baby, it had Jane’s face. She doesn’t want to complicate their friendship and she knows this egg would probably do just that. But she does ask Jane to be the guardian to her future crazy child (thanks to her sister’s egg), should something happen. Jane agrees.

Then Lina gives Jane a drawing of a beautiful wedding dress design that just so happens to be a modified version of the ugly dress. Hooray! Jane picks up her phone to text a picture to her mother when she notices a voicemail from Rafael.

He’s headed to the Unitarian minister’s office to deliver his questionnaire and apologize for missing the meeting. If Jane wants this guy to marry them, he will do everything he can to convince the minister to marry them.

Funny enough, the minister’s name was removed from consideration. Why? Because Jane defended Rafael when this guy accused her soon-to-be husband of not caring. Rafael is the most caring and sacrificial man in the world.

Jane walks in and rescues Rafael from any more embarrassment. They will find a minister. Jane’s eggs totally rock, but no one will be borrowing them anytime soon. Jane is ready to start talking about adoption and Rafael says he doesn’t want any more kids.

You know what happened next.

Jane admits that she’s a little sad and wonders out loud if one of them will change their minds one day. My guess is yes. This is confirmed by our trusty narrator.

Then they get caught in a literal rainstorm and bustle into the house soaking wet. Alba has gathered everyone together to toast Rogelio on his bill of health and says a lovely prayer that makes everyone cry. Jane looks at Rafael and he nods his head. She asks her grandmother to officiate their wedding and Alba agrees. So stinking sweet.

And guess what? Xo got into nursing school! With all the happy news, Rogelio signs off Instagram and lives life in the now. What a happy ending to a stormy episode. Were the writers trying to trick us?

Of course not. This is a telenovela, people. Rafael calls Petra to apologize. He wants her to be the boss. All is well as Petra gets into her car on that rainy night. As she hangs up the phone, her mother pops up in the backseat and as she warns Petra that something terrible is about to happen, a car hits them and the screen goes dark.

Cue the thunder.

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