Jane the Virgin recap: We've got a wedding date
For those of you who have been shipping Jane and Rafael all these seasons, I believe (at least for now) you have every right to celebrate that they are finally together. Together behind a bench out in public, in the apartment, in the morning, and night. I understand The CW wants to keep their trysts out of the NSFW category, but would it hurt to see a shirtless Rafael every once in a while?
As you may recall, Rafael was planning to propose to Jane before her very undead husband moseyed into the picture. Rafael takes great pleasure in teasing Jane about the pending proposal, warning her that it will come out of the blue when she least expects it.
Alba and Xo are excited that Jane and Rafael are finally back together and they all agree to celebrate with a family dinner and a good old fashioned game night. When Jorge suggests they play Lotería, the Villanueva women freeze and stare at him with wide eyes.
Lotería has been banned from their family. Why? Because Xo believes Alba is a cheater and refuses to partake in the game that manages to mix trivia with bingo. Jorge laughs. Surely they have moved on from this decades-long feud, right?
Wrong. Nonetheless, GAME ON.
Jane heads back to her almost fiancé’s house and immediately begins snooping around for the ring. Rafael catches her in the act and playfully reprimands her for trying to spoil the surprise. Then he looks longingly into her eyes, pulls something from his pocket, and laughs as she opens the empty velvet box. She punishes his cruel behavior by making out with him.
Several minutes later, Petra knocks on the door. When Rafael answers in mismatched buttons, she realizes that he is clearly busy with someone else. Then she notices a Marbella waitress uniform on the floor and raises an eyebrow. Who could Rafael be entertaining from the Marbella?
It hits Petra like a ton of bricks and before Rafael can stop her, she loudly shouts for Jane to report to her front and center. Jane sheepishly slinks out of the bedroom, already apologizing that she has officially broken their single ladies pact.
Of course, Petra’s thrilled for her friend. Her sharp tone is simply a result of stress caused by stupid Milos. Krishna is not helping her nerves, either. She’s taking advantage of her new/old position as Petra’s assistant. What Petra doesn’t know is that Krishna is in cahoots with Milos. We have no idea what these two are cooking up, but it can’t be good.
Back at the apartment, Rafael once again tricks Jane into thinking he’s about to propose. Jane giggles at his joke and they would have made out like teenagers again if Mateo hadn’t walked into the room. The two invite their son to snuggle with them on the couch, but Mateo refuses and mopes back to his room.
That’s not like Mateo. Could it be his meds? His personality certainly has changed in the last few days. Jane is worried and Rafael agrees to call the doctor.
Game night finally arrives and everyone is excited to crush other members of the family. Rafael is “the caller” and as he recites riddles to the table, Jane enthusiastically wins three rounds in a row. In the middle of a celebratory “SUCK IT” to her family, she turns and finds Rafael down on one knee holding out a ring.
Of course, she answers “YES” and we all cry. Well, everyone except Mateo.
Rafael and Jane excuse themselves to talk to their son. Jane prompts him with questions about his medicine and if he’s feeling tired or weird? Mateo assures her that he feels fine. He just doesn’t believe that the wedding is actually going to happen.
Rafael promises Mateo that it will happen this time and Mateo asks a simple question: When?
When his parents don’t answer immediately, the boy suggests they get hitched before his karate belt test in a few weeks. Rafael looks at Jane and raises his eyebrows. They’ve both had a big dance wedding before. Why not go to the courthouse and make this thing official?
With that declaration, Mateo’s mood lifts. He screams and shouts and properly rejoices that his parents will finally live under the same roof again.
It’s too bad the news of a pending wedding doesn’t lift Rogelio’s spirits. There’s trouble on set and he’s the root of it. Showrunners explain that they will have to reshoot, thanks to the constipated look on Rogelio’s face. He simply doesn’t look like a man who is used to having a big green Martian tail protruding from his backside.
Rogelio is up to the challenge. Because art is suffering, he will make the tail look more natural on camera. And he will do that by wearing the tail all the time.
Over at the Marbella, Jane shares the good news with Petra that she is engaged. Petra automatically assumes that Jane is there to ask her to be her maid of honor. When Jane explains they are having a small courthouse ceremony, Petra bristles.
Jane picks up on Petra’s vibe and offers to take her out on the town. Unless, of course, she is cooking up a plan to thwart Milos. Petra pounds her desk and insists Jane leave. When Jane balks, Petra launches into a sob story about how she’s never going to be a maid of honor. No matter how dorky it sounds, she’s always wanted to have the ugly mint green dress. Jane was her only shot.
The next thing we see is Jane carrying an ugly mint green dress at the courthouse. It’s a thoughtful gesture. After getting their marriage license, Jane and Rafael sneak a peek into the room where they will be pronounced man and wife.
It’s hideous. Think rusted folding chairs, holes in the wall, and questionable stains on the carpet. Rafael eyes Jane as she rambles on about how she can make it look prettier with a few twinkly lights.
Back at Alba’s house, Xo reads a text from Jane in front of Alba and Rogelio, informing them that Rafael wants to have a nice dinner after the wedding at a fancy place. When Xo’s phone rings and flashes her doctor’s name, she rushes outside to answer.
If they give this woman cancer again, I will revolt.
Alba and Rogelio are totally tracking with me and when she returns, they demand to know what’s going on. Xo shares that it’s her doctor’s nurse who has been calling. Xo is considering going to nursing school. Everyone cheers! Rafael, Jane, and Mateo walk in and Xo tells them. Everyone cheers again!
The world is moving at a fast pace. When Jorge asks why Jane and Rafael are eager to get married so quickly, Mateo answers for his family: So Michael doesn’t come back and take Mommy away again!
Rafael stews in this thought. He finally asks Jane what happened in Montana and she tells him that she and Michael did kiss.
Rafael tries to be cool with the truth, but obviously learning about the kiss is a struggle. Another struggle? The fancy restaurant is booked for the next two months, but they do have an opening for the next night. Rafael enthusiastically suggests they start their lives together immediately. As in, tomorrow.
Alba is confused. Is this what Jane wants? While making some alterations to Petra’s ugly mint green dress, Jane confesses that it doesn’t matter what she wants. She and Rafael wouldn’t be in this predicament if she hadn’t gone off with Michael.
Suddenly, Xo enters the room and announces that she is not going to nursing school. Jane’s hair gets caught in the sewing machine and wackiness ensues. As Alba tries to untangle Jane’s hair, Xo explains that all of the words in the class syllabus were foreign to her. She had to look up every other phrase.
Alba and Jane are frustrated, but Alba takes the bull by the horns. She wants to play Lotería for Xo’s future. If Alba wins, Xo goes to nursing school. Xo blows up at her mother, declaring that Alba can’t base a lifelong decision on a game!
Cue a flashback. It’s the night Xo and Alba originally played Lotería. Xo has decided to quit school so she can dance. Her parents are not happy. So Xo suggests they play for her chance to perform. Naturally, Xo loses and she accuses her mother of cheating.
When we return to the present timeline, Xo and Alba face off in a rousing game of Lotería. Jane, with wonky hair and a stiff neck, is the official caller. Toward the end of the game, Xo once again accuses Alba of cheating. And you know what? Alba was cheating!
Xo is furious. Alba finally confesses after all these years that is was Xo’s father who cheated that night. He was the one who didn’t want Xo to leave. Alba just went along with the story because she knew how much her husband meant to her daughter.
Xo storms out of the house and Jane leaves to deliver the ugly mint green dress to Petra. Petra is utterly confused by Jane’s gesture. Jane reminds Petra that she was upset the other day and practically pitched her out of the office. Remember?
It was all a facade. Petra giddily explains that Krishna has been on her side the entire time. Milos signed his shares over to Krishna and tomorrow, Petra will buy them and be the full owner of the Marbella. She tossed Jane out because she mentioned Milos. What if her office was bugged?
Meanwhile, Rogelio attempts to console Xo with some tough love. He believes you should go after what you want with everything inside of you. Dreams don’t come easy.
Said the man wearing a tail.
Back at the house, Jane is trying to salvage all of the terrible things that have gone wrong, which are inevitably making her wedding day a disaster. Alba again asks Jane to reconsider. No one could predict Michael coming back.
Back at Rafael’s, Petra shows up wearing the ugly mint green dress. She presses Rafael, wondering if he has any clue that Jane is falling apart at the seams? Newsflash: Jane is miserable.
Petra stares at him, knowing that there is more under the surface. She’s right. Rafael is afraid Jane might change her mind. What happened with Michael was devastating and he doesn’t know if he can get over the past.
Petra encourages him to tell Jane. She will understand.
So he does. After agreeing that they will NOT get married at the dusty courthouse, Rafael reveals that he’s having trust issues. Jane reminds him that Rafael told her to explore the relationship. When she did, she discovered that Rafael was THE ONE.
Michael may have chosen Jane, but Jane chose Rafael.
Rafael softens and kisses her without moving her stiff neck. He’s so talented. They agree they want a big wedding with everyone they know in attendance. Also, Xo decides to go to nursing school. She’s stepping into her mother’s healthcare shoes.
Now let’s talk about that ugly mint green dress. Petra comes out of the house and inserts herself into the conversation. Jane is amused that Petra is wearing the dress. Petra admits that she’ll wear anything to prove to Jane how much she loves her. Jane rewards her behavior by asking her a second time to be her maid of honor.
Rafael interrupts. He tells Jane that he was going to ask Petra to be his best man.
It’s like a tennis match. Petra watches, mouth wide open, as Jane and Rafael volley back and forth. Rafael knew her first. Jane knows her better. Rafael pulls the marriage card. Jane notes that their cycles have synced.
Rafael digs deep and drops the final bomb. He doesn’t have anyone else on his side. Could he please have Petra?
Jane concedes and it’s settled. Petra will be Rafael’s best man. And Mateo will be the ring bearer. But first, they let Mateo fake marry them in his bedroom. So cute. Jane and Rafael are officially on their way to living happily ever after.
Like that’s going to happen. I’ve got two words for you: Sin Rosa.
Jane the Virgin