Michael Desmond/The CW
October 13, 2017 at 10:00 PM EDT

Jane the Virgin

TV Show
Telenovela, Drama, Comedy
run date
Gina Rodriguez
The CW
Current Status
In Season
We gave it a B+

Jane’s been misreading all of Raf’s mixed signals. The wine was just to help her relax, obviously, and he was happy Jane’s date was bad because Alba has not kept her feelings about Babe Adam to herself. Rafael blames Jane for ruining what he had with Petra, and Jane blames Rafael for this chestnut of a sentence: “I am done feeling guilty because I don’t want Mateo to have some small life where he counts pennies and doesn’t get on a plane until he’s 20 years old.” Yikes.

The next day, Rafael tracks down Petra; he got his iPad back, and with it his texts, so he knows it wasn’t a business emergency that lured her to the docks. They kiss, and he promises he’s done getting caught up in Jane’s “stuff” — or, as our narrator puts it, Jane’s story.

Reader, a confession: I was Team Michael. I like Rafael (when he’s not being so smug about money), but I worried it would cheapen Michael’s death if Jane and Rafael ended up together; it would make Michael seem like nothing more than a roadblock. But in the words of our narrator, “Everyone is the hero in their own story.” For three seasons, Jane has been our hero, but Michael was also Michael’s, and Rafael is Rafael’s, and Adam is Adam’s, even if his narrator needs to take it down about a thousand notches. And tonight’s Battle of the Narrators was a reminder that no one’s story plays out in isolation. People are more than roadblocks.

Jane the Virgin was born as a telenovela about telenovelas, but when Michael died, the show moved into more complicated territory. Jane might still see signs pointing her toward one “meant to be” or another, but her future is harder to fit into a predictable narrative because the people around her have stories of their own, and maybe they’re not all telenovelas. Maybe they’re comic books or spy dramas. With this new narrator, it’s possible that season 4 will see Jane explore the idea that she’s a player in others’ stories as much as they are players in hers. How does her idea of a happy ending match up with those around her? The only safe bet left at this point is that it probably involves sitting on that porch swing with Xo and Alba.

Speaking of the Villanueva ladies, married life hasn’t been bliss for Xo and Ro. They’re barely hitched before Darci is announcing her pregnancy on Twitter, spinning it like Rogelio turned his back on his unborn child. She tries to keep him out of the loop, but when she records a live Instagram video from her sonogram appointment, Rogelio busts in with his own camera rolling — and inadvertently broadcasts Darci’s cervix to his millions of followers.

Ro’s been cerved. Darci baited him into violating the terms of their contract, which guarantees her reasonable expectation of privacy. “Revenge porn” will definitely be enough to get her sole custody. Crushed, Rogelio tracks down footage of Darci trying to punch a PA on the set of The De La Vega-Factor Factor; she missed the PA and accidentally punched an adorable puppy in the face (nooooooo). He threatens to release that footage if Darci doesn’t honor their contract, and Darci angrily relents.

But Xiomara — who, don’t forget, should be on her honeymoon right now — reminds Rogelio that a bitter co-parenting system won’t do his child any favors, and he makes nice with Darci. Even when she tests him by aiming below the belt, Rogelio stays civil, his face going blank like he’s fighting mind control. (“You’re a horrible actor.” “Well, art is very subjective.”) Darci’s water breaks on the spot.

And because this is Jane the Virgin and not Adam the Virgo, that’s not even a wild enough twist to end the hour. As Jane and Adam set a coffee date, Petra meets Luisa to hand over Petra’s not-so-forged signature, only to be met in the corner by her not-so-dead twin. As for Rose, she’s in prison asking a guy, “Does anyone besides you know him?” before strangling him to death. Now that’s how Jane ends a season premiere.

Chapter notes:

  • Petra’s white caped romper is the stuff dreams are made of.
  • “Who’s Babe Adam?”
  • #HotDad (gestures at face)
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