I appreciate a good surprise, like most people, but those last few seconds of “Chapter 81” were completely unexpected. I gasped, clutched my pearls, and sat in shock for a good 10 seconds. Congratulations, Jane the Virgin writers. You got me.
Before we dive into the ramifications of that surprise, we need to talk about the planned secret that we all know about: Alba passed her U.S. citizenship test with flying colors and Jane is going to throw her a surprise party to celebrate. Everyone gathers around the table to help. All decide Jorge should not be invited. Even River votes no.
Why does River get a vote? Good question. She has inserted herself into Rogelio’s life so they can pretend to be an actual couple since they are playing married co-presidential powerhouses on television. Rogelio hates every second. (Sidebar: Brooke Shields pronouncing Alba’s name as “Abla” is hilarious.)
Rafael is the only one not at the table. He asked Jane to help him with an open house and when she gets there to fluff and dust things for the client, he flashes his gorgeous smile and tells her that they are the clients. The house is on the market next week. Surprise!
Jane and Rafael share the good news with her family. They are moving in together! Everyone cheers except for Alba who is disappointed that the “good news” wasn’t an engagement. When Jane leaves the room, Rafael drops another big bomb: He is going to propose! In fact, he’s going to pop the question tonight. My heart can’t handle all the excitement.
Rafael wanders into Jane’s room. There are sticky notes all over the wall with scratched ideas and outlines. She can’t seem to make this new book come together and she wants to work on it tonight. She rain-checks their date. Rafael hurries into the next room to ask Alba to pinch hit for him. She offers to babysit so Jane and Rafael can have a romantic night. The outline will be there tomorrow. Go have fun!
Alba also mentions a get-together Jorge is hosting tomorrow after the ceremony. He and a few friends are going to toast Alba’s citizenship. Jane gushes over the sweet gesture and then marches to the Marbella to tell Jorge he has to cancel the mini party because Xo and Jane are throwing a mega party. Jorge agrees and because she felt so guilty, Jane invites him to the fiesta.
Jane heads over to her mom’s house to try to pick out an outfit for her grandmother. When she parades the dresses in front of her family and pretend mother, River insists, “Wear the gold. That will take Rafael’s breath away!” Jane is confused. Why would she dress up fancy for her dinner with Rafael? Our little writer puts two and two together and correctly guesses that Rafael is going to get down on one knee.
Meanwhile, Rafael drops the girls off with Petra. I’d like to publicly announce that Anna and Elsa are THE WORST. Therefore, I hate/love them. I think they deserve an entire episode dedicated to their condescending behavior.
Okay, back to Petra. JR is hanging around a lot lately, since she sacrificed everything for Petra. So Petra asks her to move in. JR doesn’t want it to be a pity invite, but she does say out loud that she loves Petra. Surprise! Yes, it’s soon, but Petra is right there with her.
The moment is interrupted by a text from a friend at the DA’s office. Krishna just turned herself in from out of the blue. Oddly, this information is trumped by Petra confiding in Rafael that JR has professed her love. Why isn’t she more excited? Because she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. It always does.
Rafael is tired of waiting for his perpetual shoe to drop, too. He decides to head to the jailhouse to see Rose and tell her to stop calling him. He will never tell her where Luisa is hiding out, no matter what dirt she may have on him or his parents.
Fast forward to that night. Jane looks fabulous and Instagram-ready in her darling dress and freshly manicured nails. When Rafael answers the door, he looks awful. The booze is out and the manners have disappeared. There’s no proposal. In fact, he asks Jane to leave.
Jane does leave. Then she about faces and heads right back to the door. She shoves her way inside and insists he tell her what is going on. They are in a relationship and you just don’t leave when things get hard. Cue Rafael leaving right out the window to spend some quality time on the terrace.
That night, Rafael joins Jane in the bed. He confesses that he went to see Rose and it wasn’t good. Yet he still doesn’t tell Jane the big secret. Instead, they do the deed. (Recap continues on next page)