Tonight’s iZombie episode may have been called “He Blinded Me With Science,” but it was hella eye-opening. Plots continue to stack up like like Jenga pieces, but everybody just keeps pulling them out as fast as they can. Last time, we learned that Blaine has been rezombified and will likely die (same for Major), Liv found out Rita was Gilda (or Gilda was Rita? A very Ben is Glory/Glory is Ben kind of moment), and Drake is a double agent (for Blaine, Mr. Boss, but ultimately the Seattle PD and Keith Mars). Finally, we thought, loose ends! Answers! Not so fast, says the iZombie-verse.
Brain of the week Dr. Eleanor Cash was a mild-mannered acne med researcher who overlooked a clinical trial data snafu that scarred the face of Annie, a beautiful girl who “looked like Groot,” according to an annoying neighbor kid. When someone douses the good doctor with lighter fluid and burns her to a crisp (spoiler: It was Annie’s twin sister Jenny and Annie is* a zombie!), Liv slurps a lovely brain soup to take on the case, turning into a statistics-crunching genius. (*Update: Thank you, commenters for pointing out that Annie may not be a zombie, she just inspired a Liv vision. However, given the fact that Dr. Cash was moonlighting as Dr. Irving — it’s unconventional but is it a stretch to think maybe she brought Annie into her new job, that perhaps there was some sort of crossover set up? My conspiracy cup runneth over with this one. Perhaps I’m just projecting my hope for a new, GOOD female zombie.)
Downside: So many science references, this English major couldn’t keep up. Upside: An ability to analyze the world in a less emotional way — and provide Ravi with guidance on New New New New Hope’s new and improved antidote.
“The Ptolemaic theory of the universe also fit the data set at one time,” says Dr. Liv, when she’s making excuses for Drake. Again. She is, of course, referring to geocentrism, the archaic notion that the Earth is the center of the universe — one that Galileo disproved in 1632. But for a while, people really believed it was true. iZombie often uses the brain of the week to enhance a feeling of Liv’s Normal Brain that she can’t articulate, but in this case, we’re getting some insight into a plot structure that’s starting to resemble the Spirograph-like street map of Washington D.C. (Fun fact: Some people think the Illuminati designed the D.C. grid; others say it was designed specifically to make it hard to find the seat of power. Regardless, it’s impossible to navigate.)
Basically, the iZombie writers are saying: “Hey, cool, you noticed we’re starting to tie all the loose ends together and you can follow the path. So, how about, just to mess with you, we say that everything you know could be wrong? Even though we have built you this magnificent Jenga tower.” We get an honest-to-goodness, fact-following, unemotional scientist saying that absolutely nothing is as it seems. Since there are so many characters suddenly beginning to meet, this reference is even more appropriate. Just as we’re feeling a bit of closure…BAM.
So, where does that leave us? This episode is so full that even the visions are plot points in the grand scheme of things, rather than just breadcrumbs in tonight’s case. In one, Liv sees Dr. Cash moonlighting as Dr. Irving, a researcher in the Super Max Rager Super Secret Basement taunting a zombie — who, in another vision, turns out to be Annie. (I hope we see more of Annie. I’m really starting to wonder where all the good female zombies are, and Gilda/Rita damn well isn’t going to be a good anything.)
Blaine starts out riding the bus wrapped in a picnic blanket, fresh from his Boss-hit and fully rezombified. He heads to the morgue for a snack and to remind Ravi that should his undead mellow be harshed by a dead one, Seattle will suffer a zombie apocalypse — and leaves with the knowledge that his days are numbered. Another visit yields Ravi’s new “break glass in case of emergency” antidote. Blaine spends the rest of the episode in nostalgic melancholy as he dines on brains and a nice Chianti while essentially reciting his last will and testament to his henchman, interspersed with axioms, as is his way.
Meanwhile Clive and Dale ring up the FBI lab to get the results of brains found at Blaine’s Pop-sicle’s cabin. Human, of course. The kicker? The lab worker tells them Suzuki’s brains were human, as well. Seems like our law enforcement team has caught the Ptolemaic theory flu as well.
Back in villain-ville. Vaughn du Clark is putting on his one man show, The Roid Rage Meets Dad Jokes Comedy Tour, at Max Rager HQ. (Google “petite mort” — his joke will disturb you even more.) His escalating Super Max aggravation is ignited when he finds out that Major was boning his daughter — “Daughter?” smirks Major — and sees her black eye. (Atta girl, Liv.) But don’t go polishing up that Father of the Year trophy just yet. When a Super Max-juiced zombie breaks her restraints and goes after Rita/Gilda, Vaughn barely flinches before shutting the elevator doors on his precious daughter.
NEXT: Liv gives Drake the benefit of the doubt. AGAIN.
Liv, in full research mode, is trying to use her mental data plan to analyze her enigmatic beau, which leads her to see Drake and Mr. Boss chillin’ in a parking lot. She gives him the benefit of the doubt — AGAIN, sigh — and plans to confront him. And we’re left with a rather beautiful and unlike iZombie montage set to L’aupaire’s indie wail, “I Would Do It All Again.” Liv wanders forlornly through a parking lot inches away from where Major zombie tranqs Drake for the deep freeze on Blake’s orders. And Vaughn locks his zombified daughter out as Blaine injects himself with Ravi’s newest antidote.
Confused? Good. iZombie has it right where it wants you.
“It’d be a real shame if your local brain supplier died and you ended up with a horde of zombies running around Seattle just as the Mariners were set to contend.” —Blaine
Blaine remains the most complex and fascinating character on the show. Is this a good time to admit that I am fully shipping Liv and Blaine? Good. I feel better now that I got that off my chest.
New Liv dressing up as old Liv is always fun. It must be a relief for Rose McIver not to have to sit through so much hair and makeup for a day.
“The only thing that can take down a bad guy having a Super Max freak out is a good guy chugging a Super Max.” —Vaughn
“He was running a funeral home. Straight out of freshman English. Foreshadowing? Helloooo.” —Mr. Boss
[Blaine walks into morgue moaning “braiiiiins.”]
Blaine: Kidding. Kind of. I do need brains. Got any?”
Ravi: You’ve reverted to zombie form.
Blaine: Well, if I haven’t, things have just gotten…kinky.
“Ask the Air Gaul flight attendant how many petite mort, she morted last night?” —Vaughn (Seriously, Google “petite mort” at your own risk.)
Major: Was having Rita seduce me part of the madness?
Vaughn: Gaylord says what?
Major: You didn’t know?
Vaughn: That you were doing the featherbed jig with my daughter? Mmmm, no.
“So, sweet child of mine who’s always telling daddy not to sleep with the help.” —Vaughn
“I know Netflix and chill is supposed to be code, but there really is a movie I wanted to see.” —Drake
“Thanks to her, I am now serving crab dogs, dressed like I’m in the world’s worst Adam Ant cover band.” —Dr. Benway
“Rationalization isn’t just a river in Egypt.” —Ravi
Liv: There’s a secret basement?
Dude: Just a basement. I mean, yes, you need clearance, but the existence of the basement is known. So it’s technically not a secret basement.
“How do you know you didn’t see a zombie at some cheesy Halloween haunted house? Or on TV? In case you haven’t noticed, our popular culture is quite inundated with zombies.” —Ravi, when Liv references the “full Romero zombie” in her vision
Ravi: I’m only giving this untested version to you because of the potential of your death, leaving Seattle zombies unfed.
Blaine: So it’s not the love that dare not speak its name, brewing between us?
Peyton Watch: Totally MIA.