Tonight’s iZombie was a heaping serving of “if you’re just joining us, here’s what’s happening,” plus a side of Blaine’s troubled past, minus the Max Rager beverage. Ah yes, the old expository episode, in which each character tells us where we are in their story arcs. Plots, plots, plots, plots!
When Liv eats the brains of pathological liar Corey “Big Fish” Carp, whom Major and Ravi find whilst digging for fake-leg Utopiom, she tells some tall tales of her own. But this episode isn’t about the whoppers we tell under the influence of a particularly tasty looking gray-matter turkey burger. No, this is about the secrets we keep that ultimately come back to haunt us, as Live pontifically puts it in her voiceover:
Everyone lies. It’s a coping mechanism. A key survival trait. Show me someone who always tells the truth, and I’ll show you a weirdo. But maybe the most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
So if everyone is lying, what’s the truth? Well that’s the beauty of an expository ep: The characters will tell you! And nothing displays this more perfectly than when Clive is trying to convince Ravi that Liv takes on the personality of their perps to help her with her visions. He literally could just be sitting on a chair, in a room, in front of a camera explaining the plot of the show. (But, like, without the brain eating.)
Then Blaine’s henchmen fortuitously capture Major the Chaos Killer trying to hit one of their customers. Major reveals that he’s killing zombies under mysterious orders, and Blaine essentially says: No, don’t kill customers, but I’ll get you other zombies to kill, and everybody wins! Especially Blaine, who gets his sadistic father — “Somebody’s gotta make the obligatory popsicle joke, right? Nope? When did it get so highbrow in here?” — back just in time to torture him as payback.
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We did get a hefty dose of Blaine building in this episode, and I really enjoyed it. While everyone else was delivering lengthy plot diatribes, they let Blaine be Blaine. Which was quite lucky for us, considering this week’s iZombie was light on zingers. I’m sure it came as no surprise to anyone with eyes or ears or a brain that Blaine was beaten and tortured as a child by his nanny Frau Bader. Also not shocking? That his soulless father didn’t look the other way as much as encourage it with glee. For this, Frau Bader got over $100 million in his will. But check out the big brain on Blaine: Thaw dad, get that pesky will reversed, and get to mess with him a little to boot. Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it?
NEXT: Watch out for Drake, Liv!
Meanwhile Liv is falling harder for Drake, whom she calls her boyfriend (that was quick), even though she knows deep down in her gut that something’s off about him. Perhaps she senses that he’s one of Stacey Boss’ bad guys? But you can only deny so much until not one but two visions confirm that your dude can’t get his mischief managed — especially if he won’t solemnly swear he is up to no good. This marauder hasn’t mapped out his plan very carefully; when he calls in sick on hypochondriac brains, Liv accidentally finds where the tainted Utopium is buried (just in the nick of time, as we see that New Hope, the zombie-cured-zombie rat, has died, so Major and Blaine’s hourglasses are quickly running out of sand).
To the rising crescendo of rousing anthem “One Day More,” from Les Misérables — Blaine has a true flair for drama — Ravi, Liv, and Major dig up the fake leg, and all is well! Or is it? Everything seemed just a little too neat. And iZombie, a show about gooey, delectable brains, is anything but a show that likes to tie loose ends up in a neat little bow. So is this just another lie? Were we fooled into believing that the solutions were all so clear and easy? And this wasn’t expository all along? Tune in next week…
Anyone else find it odd when Liv mentioned her brother while lying to Drake about Major being at the door? Perhaps it was a sly wink at the fact that her family has all but disappeared from the show.
Clive: I’ll run this by Bozzio.
Ravi: If she bears your children, you’ll start using her first name, right?
“Rise and shine Major Bummer.” —Blaine
Blaine: Should we see what he wants?
Don E.: I sure don’t want my hole to go to waste.
Blaine: Yeah, Chief. That’s what she said. Don’t bother.
Drake: Feel that? It’s a tumor.
Liv: It’s not a tumor. It’s a muscle. You could have it removed but then you’d only have a 5 pack.
“Work called. D Rad got attacked by a drunk bachelorette. Girl nearly took his eye out with a penis straw.” —Drake
“What’s that Missy Elliott song? ‘Cerebellum, Don’t Fail me Now?’” —Liv
“We have to get you out of here before Dr. Zaius catches us. Winter is coming!” —Blaine (So much joy from the Planet of the Apes and Game of Thones refs. Team iZombie should make a crib sheet of all the pop culture references in each episode because I know I miss at least 25 percent of them.)
“Are you ready for your close-up, Poppy Dearest?” —Blaine
WHERE’S PEYTON? Episodes feel empty without her.