Nothing says friendship like taking the heat for a casual murder.
Favors can get messy. Tonight, I step in for Marc again, attempting to help you figure out how they’re getting away with all these murders. It’s a relatively simple ask — he’ll return next week, and the favor is complete. It’s simple. Bonnie, on the other hand, does Annalise and the team a favor by admitting to Sam’s murder and revealing a whole other difficult layer of her past. No offense to Bonnie, but our definitions of “favor” are just a little bit different. And then there’s the sexual favors that Laurel and Frank were exchanging in the basement. Connor even wants to do Michaela a favor by helping her have an orgasm. It’s hard to keep up with all the favors flying around this episode. Like I said, it’s messy.
Asher and the no good, very bad dad
Three weeks before everyone left ADA Sinclair to become the corpse version of a garden gnome, we explore our first version of messy: Asher and his dad in court. The hearing is for Annalise and the Keating Five — specifically the wire tapping involving them. But it’s not the Keating Five… it’s the Keating Four now because as part of Asher’s testimony, he’ll get immunity. But when he’s called to the stand, Asher bolts for the door.
In an episode that takes the definition of linear storytelling, tosses it to the ground, and then throws ADA Sinclair on top of it, a lot of the Asher’s story flashes back and forth, flashing back to when Asher goes to visit Annalise and confirms the story Bonnie gave him about killing Sam. He returns to ADA Sinclair and his dad, confident in his findings. It’s a chance for Asher to set himself free from wrongdoing, but he quickly finds out that one crime is covering up another.
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Asher discovers his dad isn’t just a good guy looking for justice for Sam Keating. He’s hiding his own demons. Remember that time Judge Millstone decided not to act on information about a perjured testimony during one of his hearings? Yeah. He’s cut himself a deal. Asher realizes that he’s not just saving himself with information — he’s saving his dad. In a bar, ADA Sinclair takes her ill-kept bob and tries to convince Asher that he can be a good guy or a mini-Annalise. But if we peek into the future, whichever option he chooses means he’s probably going to get shot at some point in his career. Yikes.
Connor’s got an orgiastic idea
Connor had a rough week last week, y’all. And just like the rest of us, he knows that a great way to take the edge off is to have a beer or nine, kick back, and proposition an orgy to the group. Connor gets a little bit daydrunk and tells the group that they are all under the thumb of Annalise. That’s when he pitches the orgy (and even an orgasm for Michaela, because sharing is caring). Drinking on the job is not appreciated, and Annalise questions where the Connor she once knew went.
Post-guilty-mom speech, Connor and Michaela go to Oliver’s to try and hack a completed police camera video of the siblings’ aunt being a racist, but when Michaela steps away, Connor takes the opportunity to be honest. He tells Oliver he could go to jail, but even if that happens, he loves Oliver. Loves him. At the end of every Humpr rainbow is a socially conscious, romantic story line.
Everyone’s a little bit racist
Without any further substantial evidence, it appears that Aunt Buzzkill’s testimony that Caleb and Catherine (#TheTwincest) are the one’s responsible for their parents’ deaths could hold up. It’s harsh because we’ve accused them of a lot. Being twins when they’re not. Being sexually involved when they’re (probably) not. But killing your parents? That’s hella harsh. Without any further testimonies or evidence, that’s how it’s going to fall. That’s why Annalise challenges Murder Inc. to prove otherwise.
The team ends up finding a security video that shows Aunt Buzzkill using some pretty antiquated racial slurs, which is pretty great for Caleb and Catherine because “half-breed” is only an acceptable phrase when you’re Connor-level drunk and doing a karaoke medley of Cher’s greatest hits.
Annalise and team bring the police video into the courtroom, but unfortunately because it was hacked, it can’t be used. But then Catherine loses her damn mind and calls out the judge for being black, and the judge goes full logic back at her and says that she has to uphold the law. Don’t you hate the law, man?
Two truths and a Nate
In no uncertain terms, Annalise’s relationship with Nate is just a constant game of Two Truths and a Lie, and literally no one has told Nate that he’s playing. She wants to come clean with him about Nia and her death wish, which is pretty noble, I suppose. But you know Annalise, and nobility is not really her strong suit, so my guess is that she’s covering for the wire that Nia was probably smuggling last week. Can’t trust a dying woman, you know? Regardless, this is Annalise’s one kind-of truth.
The first lie is that she doesn’t want to keep secrets from him. The second lie is that crazy story she fed him about Bonnie. She cries and tells Nate that she framed him to protect Bonnie, who is now everyone’s favorite scapegoat for Sam’s killer. She drops some of those powerful Annalise tears before saying that she’d die if that meant not hurting him again. Sounds like some pretty heavy foreshadowing for that stomach shot she’s taking in about three weeks. It could be Nate, but after this week, there’s at least a half-dozen people who could be holding that gun.
NEXT: The worst episode of Storage Wars ever
What’s in the box?
Still going 100 percent renegade, Wes goes with Levi to talk to Bruno at the graveyard about Rebecca’s whereabouts. Immediately, Levi loses all chill on Bruno and pulls a gun. Bruno drops a hint about a storage locker that Frank has. Back at Annalise’s firm, Wes notices a key clearly marked storage on Frank’s keys. Just before Frank grabs his keys away, Wes snatches the storage key. Wes steps away to talk to Annalise/get his head rubbed in her lap/etc, and Laurel puts it all together — Wes is the one who never seems to be bothered by all the drama. In reality, Wes has gotten way arrogant. He’s going Sarah Palin rogue up on Keating and Co, and it’s catching up with him fast.
After a confrontation with Levi, Wes gets in a particularly chatty mood and reveals that Rebecca is dead and that Levi is EGGS 911. No one is amused — especially Levi, who seems especially peeved when the cops show up and find two giant bags of meth in his trunk. We aren’t confident who put it there, but outside of Walter White, it’s probably safe to assume it was Frank.
Afterward, Murder Inc. goes to the storage locker and find a suitcase — one that almost certainly contains Rebecca’s body. But instead, there’s no body: just dolla-dolla bills. That’s when we flash back. Frank tells Bruno that if anyone comes nosing around, bring up the storage locker. Frank led the group to a dead end and led Wes to an unraveling. If this were an episode of Storage Wars, Wes would be a giant loser.
After Bonnie came clean to Asher (and I use the term clean loosely, as one might say they’re “clean” by wiping their face with a Wet One after a run), she breaks down her fake murder story. Bonnie tells Asher that Sam was forcing himself on her and that she took a lamp and beat him over the head with it. She’s crying some serious, sloppy tears. I wondered for a second if Bonnie might have actually killed Sam through impassioned cries, but then I remembered that Bonnie only kills people with a Paris Geller grimace and an extra large Ziploc bag.
Asher goes to visit Annalise, and Murder Inc. jumps in to stop him from seeing her. In a cloud of bloody smoke, Annalise appears and allows his presence. Asher says he doesn’t have a wire and that he wants to talk with Annalise alone. She excuses Bonnie and confirms her story to Asher. When Asher questions it, Annalise blows his game up with a gigantic game of “check your privilege, fool.” She tells him that he can testify and throw her and Bonnie under the bus or believe the “truth,” and by “truth,” I mean a pointlessly constructed lie.
It’s frustrating because there’s so many murders to sort out: Rebecca, the Hapstall mom and pop, ADA Sinclair, and maybe even Annalise. Then there’s Asher, mulling back on Sam. His confusion is understandable, but Asher’s clearly the unwanted child of the Keating Five — if this were a family band, let’s just say that Asher would play the tambourine. But even a tambourine player can figure out that there’s approximately 4 million other people that have been killed in Sam’s stead.
Bonnie is in everyone’s crosshairs, though, because as tension mounts, Murder Inc. turns on Bonnie too, circling around like those crazy hyenas from The Lion King. It takes Mufasa Annalise stepping in to finally call them off and remind them that it’s Bonnie who is keeping them safe.
It’s not enough for Asher, though, and after his chat with ADA Sinclair, he’s ready to come clean. Even a last-ditch effort from Bon-Bon can’t stop him. She pleads that she loves him, and he says he loves her, too. That’s why he can’t let her lie because all lies have a way of coming back up. Bonnie calls Annalise from her car, crying, and tells her to just blame Sam’s murder on her. Through tears, she says that she can’t do anything right.
Annalise, however, is having none of that. She shows up and pops a thumbdrive into Asher’s computer like she’s about to grab a PowerPoint presentation for class. It’s not a PowerPoint though. It’s a video into Bonnie’s past showing her dad presumably coaxing her into molestation. It’s painful for everyone to watch and explains a lot about our girl Bonnie Winterbottom.
Night of the Fancy Mansion
In our flash-forward, we see Bonnie running from the mansion. Per usual, she does a quick hurdle jump over ADA Sinclair’s body. Am I the only one who feels bad that she’s just strewn about like that? I guess so. Bonnie runs to her car, and Asher is sitting in the passenger seat. In season 1, that might be okay, but Asher isn’t particularly the most logical or in the know this season, so as of now, that’s bad news.
Bonnie drives the car to the gas station and stops at the bathroom to wash the blood off her body and ditch her bloody blouse, as one does post-murder. (I’m not saying she did it, but I’d probs do the same). When she returns to the car, Asher is gone. It appears that he’s at the police station, which is suspiciously close to the gas station, so that he can make a statement. Too many stations, not enough sense.
Quotes of the Week
- “They’ll hear us.” —Frank, trying to postpone basement sex
- “Only if you make me scream.” —Laurel, trying to un-postpone basement sex
- “Pardon my French, your honor, but bull.” —ADA Sinclair, not understanding the meaning of “pardon my French”
- “See Michaela, that’s what happens when you don’t have orgasms: You have inappropriate explosions.” —Connor to Michaela
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