Ted and Barney hop on the drunk train, and Robin makes some big decisions

How I Met Your Mother
Credit: Ron P. Jaffe/CBS

It’s Valentine’s Day in How I Met Your Mother land and the couples were out and about in full swing. Lily and Marshall; Barney and a stripper; Barney and Ted; Robin and Kevin; Robin and Ted…wait, Robin and Ted?

Yes, you read that right. In an episode filled with love, heartbreak, strippers and what felt like a casting call for Jersey Shore, How I Met Your Mother ended with Ted professing his love for Robin. Shout together now: WHY?! We have a lot of ground to cover before we can reach the jaw-dropping conclusion, so let’s get started.

The gang is hanging out at MacClaren’s trying to feel a quick kick from Lily’s belly (cutest pregnant woman ever) while Barney and Ted recount their night out: In an act of pure heroics, Barney acted as Ted’s wingman. While Ted boogied back and forth across the dance floor like a puppy on a leash, Barney chatted up Quinn, played with supreme coolness by Ugly Betty’s Becki Newton.

At first, Quinn seemed primed to fall for Barney’s usual not-so-debonair dating tricks (I admit I almost fell for her dumb blonde act), but ended up pulling a fast one on Barney just as he thought he was closing in on the kill. “Before we go, I should mention my condition,” she coyly revealed. “It’s called ‘I’m not a gullible dumbass disorder.’” BOOM! Yes, Barney, you just got served. There is simply nothing I love more than watching Master Stinson get put in his place.

But that was last night, and now Barney and Ted are looking for ways to fill their Valentine’s Day void. Their solution? Two tickets on the drunk express, also known as the Long Island train where all of the inebriated city partiers gather to head back to their homes at the end of the night. All aboard!

After two rides on the drunk train leave Ted and Barney slapped, spit on and sleep-deprived, the two powwow at Lily and Marshall’s to try and find the key to the drunk train’s success. A few dozen algorithms, equations and formulas later, they have their solution: Get drunk. Of course! How astute. They head back on the railroad of (hopeful) victory, only for Barney to realize he can’t get Quinn off of his mind. The best part? Little does he know that the girl messing with his mojo and occupying his thoughts is a stripper at his favorite strip joint. Disappointingly, we didn’t get to see Barney find out Quinn’s identity in this episode, but my spidey senses tell me the big reveal must be in our near future.

NEXT: Robin’s road to heartbreak

On the more serious side of the episode, Lily and Marshall, and Robin and Kevin have gone to Vermont for a Valentine’s weekend getaway, but what Robin doesn’t know is that Kevin is planning to celebrate in a big way. Later that night when they’re in their room, Kevin proposes. Robin is shocked, we’re shocked, but she manages to say that she needs time to think about it.

I was floored. How long has Kevin had the ring? Where did this come from? Readers, I’m curious: At this point, were any of you excited about the prospect of their engagement? Full disclosure, I found myself cringing. I want Robin to be happy — God knows she deserves it — but not with Kevin, as nice of a guy as he is.

While she’s deciding whether to accept Kevin’s proposal, Robin finally lets Lily and Marshall in on what is really weighing on her mind: the recent heartbreaking news that she can’t have children. That’s what’s holding her back from accepting Kevin’s proposal.

Whether she said yes or no to Kevin, at that moment, I was so relieved that she decided let Lily and Marshall in on her secret. Lily and Marshall are a fantastic couple, yes, but they’re also terrific friends. Truth be told, I’ll sleep easier tonight knowing that they can help form the support net that Robin deserves when she was handed this news.

Now, with Lily and Marshall’s encouragement, Robin is able to go back to Kevin and let him know about her inability to conceive, but he doesn’t care. He still wants to be with her, so much so that by the time they return home to New York, his mother is already knee-deep in wedding planning.

One thing that these beloved characters love to do is interfere with their own happiness. Tonight was no exception. Robin, in an act that was (in my opinion) pure self-sabotage, asks Kevin once more if he can really handle never having children and never being a father. She persists and pushes and finally, Kevin walks away. Another one of Robin’s romances bites the dust by her own hand yet again.

In the throes of her heartbreak, Robin heads to the roof, which should have been a glaring red light that something big was about to happen. Soon Ted, who has just returned home from a lonely night on the drunk train, joins her. These two have developed such a loving and beautiful friendship, and I was warmed by his presence thinking that he would be there to sweep up Robin’s broken pieces. Instead, in a classic How I Met Your Mother twist, he reveals to Robin that he’s still in love with her, child-bearing abilities or not.

Readers, I’m frustrated. We almost had Barney and Robin again, then we got Kevin, and now Ted? I can only hope that we are at the beginning of a bigger plot arc for Robin, one that finally leads her to some happiness. Think it’s in her future? Start the debate in the comments below.


“Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life? Can you hear its inspiring chant, Ted? I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid. It’s the little engine with wood!” –Barney

Quinn: You end up most nights alone at a strip club feeling empty inside telling yourself your life is somehow epic, or classic, or…legendary.

Barney: I never say epic or classic. Do you practice the dark arts?

Marshall: Well, I propose we order a bottle of wine. Not propose, suggest, I’m not married ot the idea! Lily take it.

Kevin: Sooo Robin, about not telling them?

Ted: You slept with her?

Barney: I know, I know, I’m late on sending the pictures. I’ve been swamped!

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