Lo and Lauren tell Audrina they're getting a house together, without actually inviting Audrina to join them; plus, Justin Bobby comes back and doesn't smell so bad
The Hills

”The Hills” recap: Lo steps up

Mondays are a big night on the small screen. Last night, we had Greek, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, and finally The Hills. What better way to start off your week than with gossip, cattiness, cocktails, fashion, and Stephen Colletti. (Okay, he didn’t appear on our show until the previews for next week, but those of us who still watch OTH know he’s been making more appearances as sensitive guy Chase on the CW drama. How weird will it be if he ends up on both shows the same night?)

Last night’s Hills was a mishmash of all of the ingredients listed above, with extra girl drama thrown in. Honestly, though, this recipe is getting a tad too bland for me. We get it, Heidi: You want and ”need” a girl’s night. In fact, by now you’ve had plenty, so can you stop using that as an excuse to go out? We also get it, Stephanie: You want everyone to be one big happy family. And, Lauren, yes, we get it: You want to have nothing to do with Heidi, and you’re really not all that happy that your roomie, Audrina, does. Oh, and wait, while we’re at it, Audrina, yeah, we get it: You don’t bring a whole lot to the table except for a closet chock-full of clothes for Lauren to borrow.

So all I have to say is thank goodness for Lo. I know there are probably plenty of you who don’t particularly like her, but she brings a lot more to the show than most supporting cast members do. She’s the only one who seems genuine when she speaks her mind, plus she comes from the good ol’ Laguna Beach days, so when she’s around, Lauren seems less like she has a stick up her ass more at ease, and if that isn’t enough, she’s the originator of the legendary nickname Justin Bobby. Now if that doesn’t give her cred, I don’t know what does.

Needless to say, I am behind the idea of Lo moving in with Lauren and Audrina, especially after witnessing the trio interact while discussing outfits and the night’s plans at Goa. ”I got an A plus on my assignment today!” Lauren exclaimed, somewhat out of nowhere. ”What class was it in?” asked Lo. In her computer class, of course — what other class have we ever heard of the fashion student taking? ”Is that the computer class you’re in with Stephanie?” Yes, Lo, pay attention. ”Yeah, she might actually come tonight,” Lauren replied. ”Maybe she’ll bring Heidi,” Lo retorted with a sly grin.

Cue Heidi rummaging through her own closet discussing what to wear with Stephanie, whose claim that ”literally everyone goes [to Goa] on Thursdays” suggested they might run into Lauren at said nightclub later on. ”Well, I don’t care,” said Heidi. ”If she’s there, like maybe this will be the first time it’s okay because I feel like she always had a problem with me because of Spencer, and now that I’m not really with him…I mean it was so long ago. I mean, I don’t have a problem with her. I’ll be nice to her. It’s old water under the bridge.” (There’s that phrase again. I’m beginning to think that should be the theme to this season.) I mean, not to sound like a broken record here, but Heidi, honey, get it out of your collagen-infused head that Spencer is the only roadblock keeping you from happy friendship land with Lauren.

Later on at Goa, Heidi decided she had to tell Audrina that she had just seen Audrina’s ex, the aforementioned Justin Bobby, and used that as an excuse to go sit at Lauren’s table. ”Are you going to be okay?” Heidi asked Audrina with a completely fake expression on her face. ”Like, do you want me to make sure he doesn’t come in this room or anything?” I was actually hoping Audrina would say yes here. How funny would it have been to see Heidi try to take J. Bob on? (”You can’t come back here, Justin,” she would say. ”Audrina and I used to be friends, and now that we’re friends again, you’re not going to get in my way!” ”Uh, who are you?” Justin would reply.) Instead, when J.B. inevitably made his way over, Heidi greeted him with open arms, letting him sit down and saying, ”We should all hang out in a group sometime.” Uh, come again? Heidi continued making nice with J.B. by chatting his ear off about being friends with Audrina again because — all together now — ”her and I were friends before her and Lauren were friends.” Setting aside her poor grammar, was it necessary to have that conversation when Lauren was in earshot?

Probably not, since Lauren already felt weird enough about the big group reunion. ”It’s just really hard for me to be at a table with her,” she said to Stephanie. ”And I kind of want to leave. I’m sorry. That’s really awkward to say to you, I know.” ”I just kind of thought we could all get along,” Stephanie said. Fat chance of that, Steph. Now here’s a question for you readers: Do you think that this was all one big typical MTV setup and that Lauren deliberately made a dramatic exit? Or do you believe this situation was for real? As in, do you really think Lauren was willing to sit at a table with Heidi but then felt so uncomfortable that she had to leave? After all, rumor has it that the two recently shot a magazine cover together (something they probably wouldn’t have done in the past), so it wouldn’t be far-fetched for Lauren to make an attempt to be civil in public.

Justin Bobby comes clean

Another person possibly trying to clean up his public image: Justin Bobby, who, according to Audrina, smelled really good on their nondate date, which followed some time after the Goa run-in. ”Oh really?” said Justin, laughing. ”I haven’t showered in weeks.” I laughed too, because it’s about time he poked fun at himself (and at, you know, the fact that we’ve all perceived him as dirty). He also informed his ex that she was the last person to ride with him on his bike (um, yeah, right) and that he now lives by the beach. ”Change is good….I need to get my priorities straight,” he said before mentioning that he thought Heidi was ”really nice” and offering his two cents on the Heidi-Lauren drama: ”It’s not nice when you fall away from people. But when you kind of regroup again, it’s kind of…” ”Great company,” Audrina interjected. (Note: She might have said, ”Good company.” She doesn’t enunciate so well.) His observation was obviously also directed at their own situation, because they both then admitted that they had missed each other. Don’t get me wrong: I’m definitely appreciating this new levelheaded, clean, and somewhat witty J.B., but we can’t all forget what a complete tool he was last season and how many times he criticized Audrina about silly things like putting labels on their relationship. In the end it’s Audrina’s decision on where to take (or not take) things with Justin Bobby, no matter how much Lauren openly protests it. I guess I just don’t see the point in going back down a path she already knows is messy and unrewarding. (Then again, this is Audrina we’re talking about here. She doesn’t seem to put a whole lot of thought into, well, anything. Did I just type that? Yeah, yeah I did.)

Audrina’s lack of decisiveness will certainly be welcomed in the new household Lauren and Lo are planning. ”It’s going to be like a weird change,” Lo said to her future roomie. ”But at the same time, like, Lauren and I have known each other for so long. The social aspect of it is going to be different but still just as fun, you know?” ”Yeah, I mean, if you guys want me to move in with you I will,” Audrina said. ”I’m totally down.” ”Sure,” Lauren said with a slightly confused, slightly annoyed look on her face. The scenario was sort of similar to when Spencer ”proposed” to Heidi — neither Lauren nor Lo went out and directly asked Audrina the question at hand (in this case: Will you move in with us?). It made me more eager to see how Audrina is going to fare in a living situation with not one but two dominating personalities.

I’m turning it over to you now, TV Watchers. What are your predictions concerning the Lauren-Lo-Audrina house? How pointless was week 6 of Speidi’s argument over Heidi going clubbing? Furthermore, how pointless was Spencer’s appearance at all? J.B.’s haircut in the previews for next week: better or scarier? Finally, did you happen to catch the Mark cosmetics bag on Lauren’s kitchen counter when she was doing her nails? (It was only a matter of time before she insisted on some of her own product placements.)

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