Grimm recap: 'Blind Love'
Love is in the air on Grimm tonight, and it is weird (and also a little Shakespearean).
The episode opens with the group excited for a weekend getaway to the Columbia Gorge Hotel in honor of Monroe’s birthday. Diana’s staying with Renard for the weekend and is under strict instructions not to tell him about Eve’s tunnel carvings. As she and Adalind leave, Nick tells her to have fun, presumably adding in his head, “Thanks for not killing me with your mind while I sleep!”
After they’re gone, Eve hops in the loft shower and is greeted afterward by an image in the mirror of the thunderous, swirling void from the death-grip incident — only this time, there’s a glowing-eyed skull face in there, too. She screams for Nick and asks if he’s seen this in his bathroom before. Nick indignantly says, “If I had, I probably would’ve warned you!”
They agree not to tell Monrosalee yet (seems foolish!), and Nick nervously taps the mirror before he leaves.
At the hotel, the group greets each other as if they’ve been apart for years while hotel employee Randy goggles at them before getting on the horn with his dad, who’s in prison. And who put him there? That would be Detective Handsome, back before he knew he was a Grimm. “I’m going to make him pay for what he did to you,” Randy promises. Nick, girl, you in danger.
Randy’s plan is to administer a triple dose of amor de infierno to the group, which apparently will make them tear each other apart — literally. Then the camera goes split screen, ’70s-style (or 24-style, depending on your age and viewing preferences), as Randy slips into their rooms to collect samples of everyone’s hair.
At the hotel restaurant that night, the group reminisce about Nick and Monroe’s first meeting in the pilot. “I still had some bad habits back then,” Monroe says sheepishly when Nick reminds him that he was still peeing on fences to mark his territory.
In the kitchen, Randy pours some bubbly, woges, and spits in the drinks, then adds individual hairs to each glass, which all briefly glow a different, Easter egg-pastel color before settling back to sparkling wine. Hair and spit? It’s our worst restaurant fears confirmed. On the way to the dining room, a waitress almost upends the tray, and one of her hairs floats into a glass.
The group’s still reminiscing, this time about Monroe meeting Rosalee, when Randy arrives with the bubbly. Pregnant Rosalee passes, but the rest drink up when Nick offers a toast. Guuuuuuys, no! So gross!
In their room after dinner, Nick’s trying to figure out why the waiter looks familiar, then gets distracted with kissing Adalind. But the next morning, the couple wake up and can’t get away from each other quickly enough, using the hunt for coffee as an excuse. Ditto Monroe in his room, even though Rosalee’s content to stay in bed longer.
Downstairs, Nick, Monroe, and Wu all robotically say good morning. Randy creepily watches as Monroe spots Eve, his eyes flash green, and he heads toward her like a heat-seeking missile. Nick’s eyes do their own flashy thing when he sees Rosalee, and like Monroe, he sets his coffee down before chasing his target, which is sacrilege. Finish it or take it with you. Don’t waste coffee!
Then Wu sees the waitress with the shedding hair, his eyes flash silver, and he tells her she’s beautiful. He follows her into the kitchen and declares it love at first sight, whispering, “Love looks not with the eyes but with the heart and therefore is lost to Cupid’s mighty dart.” She brushes him off and leaves with a tray of food, but Wu’s not giving up. “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
Where my Shakespeare scholars at? Wu’s quoting A Midsummer Night’s Dream, which features a love spell that causes chaos. Holla, Grimm writers!
In his room, Hank’s going through his morning ablutions when he catches sight of himself in the mirror and his eyes flare purple. “You know, I hate to admit it, but you are one damn fine-looking man,” he tells his reflection. HAHAHAHA!
NEXT: Diana enjoys her playdate
Okay, let’s leave the lovers to check in on Renard, Diana, and my dream house now. (Good GOD, it even has amazing modern art.) Renard notices Diana doodling the glyphs, and she tells him she promised not to tell what she saw in the tunnels. So don’t trust magical children to keep secrets? Got it.
Their conversation’s interrupted by a knock at the door from a delivery guy bringing Renard spruce trees as a housewarming gift from his friends at the precinct. (Lies! Renard has no friends.) And sure enough, the delivery’s a cover for someone to sneak in, chloroform Diana, and abscond with her.
When Renard discovers her missing, he starts to urgently make a call, then puts the phone down with a smile. He occupies himself with milk and cookies (like a hotter, more Pacific Northwest-y Santa) and studying Diana’s drawings while waiting for contact from the kidnapper, who has no idea what a rough day he’s in for.
When the call does come, it’s from Lt. Grossante, the officer he promised to make chief when he became mayor before it all fell apart. Grossante says he’ll kill Diana if Renard doesn’t make him captain. Renard’s blasé about the whole thing, and when Diana wakes up, Grossante identifies himself as “the man your daddy stabbed in the back.” She corrects him: “No, that was Mr. Bonaparte.” She’s unimpressed when he woges and threatens her, flinging him across the room. We see the building shake from outside.
Grossante’s eventually able to get to his phone to call Renard and beg him to come help. Ha! Renard says he’ll be there once he runs a few errands, then hangs up as Grossante starts screaming when Diana finds his poorly thought-out hiding place.
When Renard finally shows up, he tells Diana she’s had enough fun and promises another playdate soon. They leave Grossante battered on the floor. Honestly, watching Diana taking care of her kidnapper is the first time I’ve truly enjoyed her power.
Okay, back to the hotel, where Monroe’s getting poetic with Eve, telling her, “I feel the dawn of a crystalline new day in your voice.” He says he admires her for everything she went through when she lost herself and then lost Nick. “Is Rosalee in your room?” Eve nervously asks.
Not anymore she isn’t, and when Nick spots her, he starts talking about her beautiful eyes. “Thanks, I like your eyes, too,” Rosalee says drily. Then he drops to his knees and declares his love, and she starts to suspect something’s up.
At this point, Eve spots Nick and her eyes glow. Her pitch to him hits uncomfortably close to home: “There’s never been anyone else for me. There never will be. To think we almost threw it all away.” Then she kisses him, which Nick clearly does not enjoy.
Finally, Adalind spots Monroe in the hotel hallway, her eyes glow, and she abandons baby Kelly in his carriage so she can lunge at Monroe to kiss him. That’s when Rosalee shows up. Ruh roh! Monroe tells her it’s not what it looks like, but he can’t live a lie because he loves Eve now, real love. While Rosalee’s quietly devastated, Adalind explodes. Then things start to get super uncomfortable when Eve and Nick show up, and Eve tears into Adalind: “It wasn’t enough to steal Nick from me? It wasn’t enough to have the baby that should’ve been ours?” Too real! Not cool! Yikes!
And then there’s Hank, happy as a clam in his bathroom, singing “Let’s Get It On” to himself in the mirror. Listen, you’re going to want to keep this episode on your DVR to play this scene whenever you feel sad about the world. Finally, the chaos in the hallway penetrates his bubble, and he steps out to yell at everyone for interrupting this most beautiful day — until he spots himself in a hallway mirror and is entranced all over again.
Thankfully, Rosalee isn’t whammied and figures out what’s going on. Meanwhile, everybody’s tussling in a scrum in the hallway while Hank dances with himself.
NEXT: The group will never accept free champagne again
Outside, it’s equally dangerous, as Randy, watching Wu swoon over the waitress, mutters, “That’s right, you’ll die without her.” And sure enough, Wu says if she leaves him, he’ll kill himself. At this point, Rosalee tracks down Randy, who denies all knowledge. Then she slaps him and he woges, telling her there’s nothing he can do. “They’re all gonna die.”
“Unless you die first,” Rosalee replies and woges, too. Yes, Rose! Get him!
We cut back to the fight in the hallway, which is amazing. Everybody’s slapping everybody else. Nick falls to his knees and bellows, “ROSALEEEEE!” while Adalind screams, “NOOOOO!” when Monroe kisses Eve. It’s all fantastic, and if you didn’t rewind to watch this again immediately, I don’t want to know you.
Randy, meanwhile, has taken the waitress hostage and threatens to toss her off a cliff if Rosalee doesn’t back off. Everybody woges, and the poor waitress passes out. Wu jumps to rescue her and knocks Randy off the cliff instead.
Back in the hallway, everybody who can woge is woged, and Hank’s crying because his mirror got broken. But when Randy dies, the spell breaks. Nick and Adalind hug, and Monroe is horrified about what he said to Rosalee, who assures him it wasn’t his fault.
Weirdly, everyone shakes off the love insanity quite easily, gathering back at the restaurant to sing happy birthday to Monroe as he’s presented with a gorgeous pocket watch-shaped birthday cake. Ah, but maybe they’re not so unaffected; after they’re done singing, a waiter approaches them with on-the-house champagne, and everyone freezes. Cut to black!
- This was a fluffier episode than we’ve been getting, but there are still tons of possible future payoffs here: Renard learning about Eve’s tunnel drawings, Grossante knowing that Renard (and not Nick) killed Bonaparte, Eve still seeing the death grip void, and Diana not knowing that Grandma Kelly is dead (and by Eve’s hand). Six more episodes, guys!
- There’s also the question of Eve’s words to Nick (or should we be calling her Juliette at this point?), which felt less “magically compelled” and more “spoken from the heart,” particularly in light of her confession to Diana that her tummy hurts because Nick’s not her boyfriend anymore. Are we not out of the love triangle woods yet?
- Poor Wu, telling the waitress that the only thing he’s ever loved is his cat! Look, not everybody needs romantic love to be happy, but it’d be nice to see Wu paired up with somebody smart and funny who thinks he’s smart and funny, too. Plus, he likes cats! #LoveForWu
- Overall, this felt like a bit of a victory lap for Grimm, with the absurd love declarations that play on our long familiarity with these characters and quick little flashbacks to earlier episodes. (Nick looked like a baby in the pilot!) And what show deserves it more than the little fairy tale procedural that could?