A modest proposal for you: Eating babies isn’t always wrong. Hey, where are you going?
Grimm returns to the monster-of-the-week format tonight, and the team’s reaction to the new baddie is much like yours: Babies? This shall not stand. But the truth is a bit murkier than they might like.
We pick up with Renard trying to convince himself that the Meisner standing in his bedroom isn’t real when he gets a call from (I assume) Black Claw, expressing their displeasure at how much his mayoral resignation will cost them. They must regret stocking up on Mayor Renard bobbleheads.
At the spice shop, everyone’s explaining to ol’ Murder Eyes Diana that Nick looked like her daddy in order to help him. Diana’s cool with it and goes along with the plans to move in with Nick. Then she looks at Rosalee and announces that she’s got more than one baby in her stomach. “How many more?” asks a freaked-out Monroe as he and Rosalee try to parse Diana’s unsettling parting glance at them.
Next, we’re reminded of the danger of sharing every scrap of our lives online with shaky privacy settings. A sweaty man deals with crippling headaches as he searches Portland birth announcements and pulls up an online map to find the location of the Malers, one of the happy families.
Did I say happy? I meant tense. Mom Haley’s busy taking pictures to share with her social networks while dad Paul forgets the “passive” part of “passive aggressive” when he complains about how many pictures of their child she’s taking and sharing. When said child cries that night, Haley shuffles into his room to discover a man leaning over the crib. He woges an extra arm from his neck (gross!) and knocks her into the dresser, escaping with the child. Sure, Haley, this is upsetting, but at least you didn’t end up on the ceiling, on fire and bleeding from the stomach, amiright, Supernatural fans?
In (hopefully) happier family news, Nick escorts Diana and her brood into his loft. Diana immediately spots the blood on the floor. “A lot of people died here,” she says matter-of-factly. Yep, just normal little girl stuff. Nick and Adalind agree they have to protect Diana and her abilities, then enjoy a little couple time. “I am so happy to be back here with you,” she says. He agrees. “I thought I was gonna go crazy without you.” Nadalind shippers, take a second to bask in the sweetness.
But hang on, Nuliette fans. (Nuliette? What’s their couple portmanteau? Jick?) Eve’s lurking in the tunnels right below Portland’s hottest couple and hears their declaration of love. Her face ripples with an attempted woge, and then she glumly slumps near where Nick bricked up the stick. Man, she really has a nasty case of the emotions.
When Nick’s able to tear himself way from his family and return to the precinct, he and Hank are greeted with applause. But they’re immediately called into Renard’s office. And you think you’ve sat through some uncomfortable meetings with your boss?
Renard starts with an understatement. “Well, we’ve all made mistakes.” HAHAHA YA THINK? Then he reminds them that he’s still in charge, and they’ll be bounced if they get out of line. “Soooo no medals, then?” Nick asks.
Once he’s alone in his office, Renard’s visited by Meisner. The captain yells and throws a cup of coffee at him, which of course just splashes against the window because nobody else can see the dead beardo. (If anyone’s curious, Renard apparently takes his coffee with plenty of cream.) Meisner says the real reason he’s dead is that Renard betrayed everyone. Oh and also, Bonaparte says hi.
Our crime-fighting trio leave Renard shouting at himself and head to the Maler house. The couple openly argue in front of the cops, with Haley insisting it was a monster and Paul insisting that she’s cuckoo. “I love my son, but she’s obsessed with him,” Paul seethes. At this point, I started googling “Portland divorce lawyer” for Haley.
We now see baby Auggie, whose feverish crying is stressing out his already conflicted kidnapper. It should be noted that this Wesen has a third eye on his forehead and upsetting visions in his brain. But it turns out, his third arm is useful in comforting a fussy baby. Aww, a kidnapper with a heart of gold!
NEXT: Ugh, not another baby-eater