Ladies and gentlegrimms, please put your hands together for Sasha Roiz, tonight’s episode MVP! (Thirsty ladies and not-so-gentlegrimms of Twitter, please put your tongues back in your mouths after all that male shirtlessness.) That’s right: It’s Renard vs. Renard in “Oh Captain, My Captain,” and the winner is the audience.
So. Following Renard’s escape from the long arm of the law, the manhunt for Nick is back on, and Nick’s allies are all lying low — save Adalind and the children, who are stuck at Renard’s house. Her fiancé tells her that she needs to get on the supportive first lady train before he takes office, or else. She’s not thrilled by this ultimatum.
At the precinct, Hank and Wu are boxing their belongings and fussing with their resignation letters. (I appreciate that Hank used company resources to print his.) Skyscraper Renard and pocket-sized Wu engage in the most mismatched staring contest in history. Wu lunges at Renard, and worse, he starts to woge, until Hank orders him to pull it together.
The three former police officers and Eve then start brainstorming ways to keep Renard from expanding his power by becoming mayor, and, as these conversations do, talk turns toward who’d like to magically transform into a tall, sexy half-Zauberbiest. Nick wins the metaphorical coin toss, and Eve agrees to fetch the changing hat. (Not to be confused with the Sorting Hat. Incidentally, what house would Monroe be assigned to? Please discuss in the comments.)
Renard, who’d definitely be kicking it in the Slytherin common room, has a new problem on his hands: His campaign manager, Jeremiah, saw Renard leave Rachel’s apartment the night she died. Faster than you can say “blackmail, baby,” Jeremiah’s demanding justice, and by justice, he means dolla dolla bills.
Have you noticed that all of Nick and Adalind’s phone calls these days start with, “Are you okay?” All things considered, their relationship’s doing pretty well amid the weirdness. Nick fills her in on the plans, and she volunteers to get some Renard hair for the transformation, no doubt motivated by her strong desire to never spend another night in his house. Bless Monroe; he immediately starts worrying about his pregnant wife handling the spell ingredients. Oh, and also, remember that time they did this spell and Juliette turned into a Hexenbiest? Good times.
On the blackmail front, Renard’s all about multitasking. He needs to appoint a loyal successor to be police chief, and he needs Jeremiah to go away. So he and potential new chief Grossante head to Jeremiah’s apartment, where Grossante woges and murders poor stupid Jeremiah, spattering blood on Renard’s shirt in the process.
Unfortunately, a bloody shirt calls for a wardrobe change. That’s usually not a big deal, but today, Monroe’s in the captain’s house collecting the hair and dithering about what clothes to grab for Nick to wear. Gotta say, Adalind’s awfully calm about Nick going through with this. Were it my Grimm boyfriend about to do something with proven permanent negative ramifications, I’d be far less sanguine about it.
When Renard enters the house, Adalind shoos Monroe into the closet and asks, “Whyyyy are you home?” in a hilarious “Nothing to see here!” voice. Then she does everything she can to keep him out of the closet, including offering to do his laundry and advising him to shower the blood out of his hair.
Renard’s rightfully suspicious about her niceness, but she lies that she’s just getting with the program. He buys this, for some reason, and Monroe hustles out the door once Renard’s safely tucked away in the bathroom. Claire Coffee’s freaked-out facial expressions in this scene absolutely kill me.
NEXT: Blood on Renard’s shirt? That’s a deal-breaker.