The doctors are forced to trust themselves after a tanker accident leads to complicated surgeries
Credit: ABC

Mr. Tanner Stransky is out this week, so, in theme’s with tonight’s episode, I’m trusting my gut and taking over his recap! Let’s jump right in, because this episode started in a really sexy way…

It wasn’t until I saw Meredith and Derek making out that I realized how little we get to see them make out anymore. Is it weird that I miss that? There’s no way any of you can tell me that you don’t miss their steamy scenes (think season 2 finale at the prom). But that’s beside the point, because McDreamy and his Mrs. are married now, which means that being parents trumps all — even sex. And when Meredith’s mother’s intuition told her that Zola was awake, even though they hadn’t heard anything yet, Derek knew she was right. And she was. Sorry morning sex, but you are going to have to wait another week.

However, a mother’s intuition was not getting in the way of the show’s other happy couples. While Callie rehearsed for her TED conference speech about cartilage — we all know speeches are not Callie’s forté — Arizona distracted her with a little lovin’. And then there was the childless (and therefore intuitionless) duo of Owen and Cristina, who actually went through with their morning sex. Oh, to be divorced and back in love.

Down the hall, Jo and Jason (Chest Peckswell) were attempting to start their morning off the right way when Alex pulled Jo away from sucking face to help with an incoming emergency. The big news of the day: There was a tanker accident on the highway! And Grey’s fans always know what to expect in a crisis: Owen barking orders, at least one patient not taking things seriously enough, and a physically unharmed, emotionally traumatized child. And this crisis was no different. Owen took control of his smooth-running ER, while Bailey and Richard dealt with a patient who really wanted a cigarette, despite the fact that he was covered in gasoline. It was a tanker accident, remember?

And, of course, when the patient stepped outside to sneak a smoke, the tanker finally exploded. It was far enough away not to harm anyone inside the hospital, but smoky smokerson lit up like a candle, or as Callie put it, “baked Alaska.” And that only leaves the child who wanders aimlessly looking scared. In this case, his name was Ethan, and surprisingly, Owen was the one to take Ethan under his wing. Was it because they were both gingers? I don’t think it hurt the kid’s chances.

Oh, I forgot a key element of any Grey’s crisis situation — the hero, who in this case was April’s new beau, the abstinent and now heroic Matthew. When the tanker blew, Matthew shielded a patient with his own body, burning his entire right backside. The worst part? Jackson had to be the one who treated the burns. Awkward.

NEXT: A mother’s intuition is tested

Moving away from the tanker accident, there was another Grey’s specialty in this episode: the mystery case. I was really glad to see this story worked in, because I miss the days of the doctors not being able to figure out what was wrong with a patient. Remember the rhythmic gymnast, a.k.a. Meredith and Derek’s first patient together? Or what about the penis fish? Now that was cool. This week, we discovered something called Kawasaki disease, which is fun to say, but not so fun to live with.

Guest star Sarah Chalke played a very dedicated mother, whose son was experiencing a very high fever (along with other symptoms) that no doctor seemed to be able to figure out. Luckily for her, she found Meredith Grey, who knew a thing or two about a mother’s intuition. With Jo as her intern, Meredith attempted everything she could think of to help this little boy. As she put it, she owned the hospital and would do whatever she wanted. And so she did.

But it wasn’t until a strep test result was updated as having been a false positive that Meredith realized that, sometimes, Google really does have all the answers. Kawasaki disease, which was something the boy’s mother had found on the Internet (and involved red eyes), was in fact the final diagnosis. And because they caught it on day 10, the boy was saved from any permanent heart damage (I think) and was back to drawing pictures in no time. That medicine really works some magic, amirite?

However, medicine can’t help stupidity, so after her patient set himself on fire and therefore became somebody else’s patient, Bailey went right back to the place that she had spent the last week: her genome lab. If she left that room, she was in serious danger of people requesting to be “mapped.” Richard wanted to know if he was going to get breast cancer. Callie wanted to know if she was going to get her dad’s high cholesterol or her mom’s bunions, and Meredith needed to know if she was going to get Alzheimer’s as well as anything and everything about Zola. Bailey argued time and time again that her mapping was not a toy, but it did sound a lot like a scientific psychic to me. In the end, Meredith’s request was the only one Bailey granted, probably because Zola was so darn cute.

NEXT: Say goodbye to Smash Williams

So as Meredith was busy shopping for all the details on their daughter, McDreamy was busy shopping for the right intern. After Owen accused Derek of favoring Shane and not allowing him to be a well-rounded doctor, Brooks crashed the bromance in order to learn “brainy things.” And when Shane nearly dropped an instrument in surgery, Brooks was able to show off her “fast hands,” which Derek seemed completely obsessed with for the rest of the episode (not in a dirty way). Ironically, when Derek tried to throw something at Shane to check his reflexes, Smash Williams couldn’t catch the ball. It turns out, clear eyes and full hearts can lose if you swap football pads for scrubs and therefore abandon your swagger.

After a day of literally throwing things at Brooks, Derek decided that he agreed with Owen, so he broke up with Shane…for the next week, at least. But Smash — sorry — Shane got his swagger back that night at the bar, where he told Brooks that he wasn’t going down without a fight. Did this character just become someone worth rooting for? I’m getting excited, y’all!

You know what else I’m getting excited about? The mounting sexual tension between Jackson and April. It’s apparent that April really misses the “carnival” — she wouldn’t even look at her boyfriend’s bare butt! — and we all know that Jackson is crazy insane jealous of Matthew. And this episode, April’s patient was the universe’s way of pushing April back into Jackson’s arms, and it worked…sort of. When April lost her patient — a young mother whose other half was giving speeches about how they were supposed to get together — she couldn’t figure out how it was all part of God’s plan.

And when Jackson went to check on her, she ranted about the universe pulling two people together and ended things with this kicker: “I don’t know why this is hitting me so hard.” Um, I do! Because the universe is holding up a mirror to you and Jackson! Follow your gut, woman! But I digress. I will take what I can get, and that was April crying on Jackson’s shoulder and an almost kiss. All of this happened, of course, while poor Matthew was lying in a hospital bed with burns on his bum. And when April told him about her day and they debated God’s plan, Matthew somehow took April’s tears and confusion (which were clearly about Jackson) to mean that she loved him. His response? “I love you too.” Yea, I don’t think that’s what she was getting at, Matthew, but congrats on the whole hero thing.

NEXT: Alex faces off with Jason

While we’re talking about couples, Alex and Jason finally found themselves face-to-face after Alex interrupted yet another face-sucking session with Jo. Alex had told April that he would get Chest Peckswell to break the bad news to her patient’s significant other, but the man that Stephanie (she returned!) had called charming and sensitive said no. He plain and simply refused to help Alex break the news to the poor guy, saying that he had passed that patient off. How sensitive does he look now, Steph? Little tip, Jason: You know you made a bad call when Alex Karev calls you an “assface,” which, ironically, is a better nickname than Chest Peckswell.

Love triangle drama aside, a bunch of the docs met up at Joe’s while Callie was busy not making it to the TED conference. Those darn crises always get in the way, don’t they? Luckily, Richard was able to pull some strings, and he and Arizona found a random tech guy to help them set up a live video stream, where Callie put down her notes and made the topic of cartilage more personal. Callie played the I’ve-had-a-difficult-year card, which worked, when she described how cartilage made her think about “what holds us together when things fall apart.” Poetic, right?

And that was that. After a very long day at work, Cristina headed home, Meredith headed to get mapped, and Owen followed his gut right back to young Ethan, who was waiting for his parents to wake up. Fun fact: Hunt used to play soccer.

So what do you guys make of things? Is April going to stick with Matthew, or will she follow the universe’s clues and run back to Jackson sometime soon? And what’s going to come of this Shane-Brooks non-feud feud? Did this remind anyone else of the competitiveness of our favorite intern class? And do we think Meredith is going to be next in line for Alzheimer’s?

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill

Episode Recaps

Grey's Anatomy

Meredith. Alex. Bailey. The doctors are definitely in on Shonda Rhimes' hospital melodrama.

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