Everyone's abuzz about Callie and Mark's friends-with-benefits bundle of joy and Bailey's surgery-by-Twitter.

By Jennifer Armstrong
Updated February 04, 2011 at 11:10 AM EST
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Meredith told us in voiceover mode that this episode was all about deception, but I beg to differ: I think it was about communication — lots and lots of exceedingly true and open and honest communication, arguably even too much of it at times. (Think: Tweeting surgery, watching your Alzheimer’s-suffering husband canoodle with his paramour.) A look at the big truths revealed this (also exceptionally funny) hour:

Callie and Mark’s pregnancy

Truly, I couldn’t be more thrilled that Grey’s has given these two a lasting bond without linking them romantically. I love them together, but not together together. I would love to have these two as my parents. (I would be hot and witty and smart and bantery and extremely open-minded!) I was so relieved when he “proposed” and she snarked, “I’m all for raising a baby with you, but there’s a line.”

This makes Arizona and Callie more interesting, too — though I loved them just fine already. I’m intrigued that Arizona was particularly galled by Callie’s bisexuality coming back into play: “You slept with someone else. And I’m even madder that that person had a penis.” (Question for discussion: Is this true for you, too? Would you be madder that your mate cheated if it were with a person of the gender you are not? Is it because you feel you can’t compete with their equipment? Because I can kinda see being less mad, myself, like, well, you wanted to try that, now you’re back with me, okay. But I am straight, so that could be the complication.) Anyway, I’m thrilled that Callie wants Arizona to be a part of her plan, and that Arizona wants to be that part. I love this extremely easily conceived baby. It has made all my Grey’s dreams come true.

Poor Sloan didn’t have it as easy with Lexie. Callie gave him an opt-out plan, telling him he could just be the cool uncle. But he already declared his desire to be a dad a while back (nice work, Grey’s Anatomy), so he couldn’t do it. “I’m not the cool uncle,” he boldly declared. “I’m the dad.” Callie told him he better tell Lexie, then, before “this kid comes out looking all Sloan-y.” I really do wish this kid were real.

Arizona was still in for the ride, though struggling to make sense of it. “I might be having Mark Sloan’s baby,” she told Teddy. Loved Teddy’s reaction: “Oh, good lord, he got to you, too?” Devastated that she got paged before Teddy could answer her question: “Can you say something to me that will make me want to have Mark’s baby with Callie?” I would really like to know what that something would be.

Maybe it would be: Callie has a really hot blond lady OB-GYN. This could be an enticement for a variety of reasons, among them: She is hot and thus just fun to look at sometimes for anyone who is attracted to women (and even those of us who prefer men). Also, this could distract Mark significantly in the future once he gets his mind off Lexie, and Arizona would probably prefer Mark and his penis were distracted, since she was clearly still smarting a bit from the baby-making tryst. To wit, this exchange:

Hot New Doctor to Callie: Drink a lot of water, no tampons, no intercourse.

Arizona: Sing it.

The good news, as if there hadn’t been enough of that already, was that Callie’s “something’s definitely wrong” feeling about the baby’s well-being was just the result of being a “hormone casserole.” We heard the baby’s heartbeat, and everyone was happy, even the pretty blond doctor. Well, everyone except Lexie, whose reaction to the baby news was: “How the hell did you get me in this position twice?” I’m telling you, Mark, the blond doctor’s looking better all the time. Except that she looks a lot like Sloan’s grown daughter, which could be a little weird. But I could get over that.

NEXT: Bailey’s “teets” … er, tweets.

Twitter is a force for good, not evil

Don’t know if I totally agree with this — speaking as a hypochondriac, the idea of doctors tweeting during my surgery does not sit well — but it was refreshing to see a storyline coming down on the side of e-progress. I feel like the easy way is always to go with people getting stalked on Facebook or being creepy on Craigslist or sending sexts, which are all true and interesting and very bad, but overdone. When we first learned, along with the Chief, that Bailey was tweeting surgery, I figured something was going to go horribly awry eventually because she defied his order to stop until he could learn more about Twitter. (He’d never heard of this? I guess he does work a lot, but jeez.) Anyway, she argued it could be a great teaching tool, he argued it was lawyer bait, but then she gave him “Bailey eyes” and he agreed to consider it.

April and Lexie convinced Bailey to keep tweeting even though the Chief told her to stop for the moment. (Lexie dramatically drew a parallel to Silence of the Lambs: “It’s like silencing the lambs when the lambs want to scream!” Don’t analyze too deeply. You have only 140 characters.) You know what happened next: The Chief logged on, with Owen’s help, at that very moment to see what this newfangled Twitter was all about. Though I’m happy this exercise yielded this exchange:

Chief: I’m trying to look at Bailey’s teets on the internet.

Owen: It’s tweets. … It’s important you get that one right.

He saw that she was tweeting that moment, stormed into the OR demanding she stop, surgery went bad at that exact moment, etc. Except! Miracle of miracles, other hospitals started chiming in online with real help in real time! There was a lot of talk of pancreases and livers and … other things. If I’ve learned anything from Grey’s, it’s how important pancreases are. Next thing we knew, Bailey got a cooler of something important from a nearby hospital, and poof! The patient was saved. And the Chief was hooked on Twitter, reveling in answering students’ medical questions. Yay, progress. BTW, you can find me on Twitter @jenmarmstrong. I’ve had some good Grey’s discussions there.

Cristina is back in full force. Watch out.

Jackson made the critical mistake of fighting with Cristina over a quadruple bypass. Cristina was holding the nice old lady’s hand to talk her through the basics of the surgery; Jackson was giving her his cell phone number in case she had any questions. “This is the finest patient care that I have ever seen,” the woman marveled. No joke; I wish every hospital could always be having a competition for chief resident.

As they jockeyed for position with Teddy, however, Jackson slipped and got vicious: “The last couple of months you haven’t exactly logged a lot of hours in the OR, have you?” he said to Cristina, prompting her to storm off. Jackson found her heaving sobs in the locker room and sent Meredith in to talk her down. I was just about to sigh at the prospect of another round of PTSD when — hurray! — Cristina turned off the waterworks and showed us she was just fine. She’d faked the freak-out and sent Jackson to find Owen to calm her down. “Owen’s at the dentist,” she said, “He’ll be hard to find.” Cristina got the surgery. (Remember how that one time Jackson and Cristina almost hooked up? That was weird.)

NEXT: Rose from Lost returns … with another sad love story.

Alzheimer’s sucks

We knew this already, of course, but this episode really brought it home. Derek began his clinical trials — incidentally, with Alex as his right-hand man, not his wife, whom he didn’t even give a chance. In came Rose from Lost, and once I got over the fact that Lost is over and thus she is not still married to Bernard, I realized she was really the superb L. Scott Caldwell playing the wife of an Alzheimer’s patient there for the trial. Things were not good for Rose here off the island, though: Her husband, having slipped out of lucidity, was calling for Victoria — who, as it turned out, was his ladylove.

And she showed up! Because she, too, was suffering from dementia; they met at their assisted-living facility and struck up an affair of sorts — they only knew their respective spouses when they were lucid. Their spouses knew each other and suffered on the sidelines, helpless. As Alex said, “This is seriously jacked up.”

To continue the jacked-up-ness, Rose (yeah, we’re going with her Lost name) then started telling Alex stories about meeting her husband in a snowstorm in college, and, man, no one tells a wistful story of tragic love while staring off into the distance like L. Scott Caldwell. (Remember her on the beach in the early Lost days when she kept believing Bernard was alive against all odds. And then it turned out he was!) It was totally emotionally manipulative, and she didn’t even hide her intentions: She wanted Alex to make sure her husband got the drug in the trial, not the placebo. He explained that the computer decided, but she knew he could make it happen if he wanted to. I guess this is why doctors shouldn’t be standing around talking to patients too much.

Naturally, the placebo was what came up for Daniel. At first, I wondered if Alex switched it somehow secretly, but now I think not. Instead, he took himself off the trial, citing its total depressingness, and suggested Derek use Meredith instead. “Your wife is the only person twisted enough to handle this crap,” he said.

While we’re on the topic: Meredith’s bangs, yay or nay? I like them, but I’m a bang person; many friends have expressed rather passionate hatred for hers. Please discuss. Other points up for discussion tonight: Are Mark and Lexie really over? Is the blond doctor going to inevitably hook up with Alex before finding true love with Mark? Is Twitter really a force for good?

Episode Recaps

Grey's Anatomy

Meredith. Alex. Bailey. The doctors are definitely in on Shonda Rhimes' hospital melodrama.

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  • 16
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