Credit: Mitch Haaseth/ABC

The Grey’s Anatomy fall finale did its job. It made me cheer several characters on my television screen, utter “Whhhhaaaatttt” out loud, shake my head in haughty derision, and turn away when something gross popped up. Well done, writers. Well done.

A big, bad windstorm has come to town and that means everyone at Grey Sloan is chomping at the bit to see what interesting impalements come sweeping through the emergency room doors. But first, we are reminded of everyone’s problems as they arrive to work all disheveled and air blown.

Using context clues, it appears Bailey and Warren are on a break and not sleeping in the same house. I guess we should watch Station 19 so we know these things. Still a ball of stress, Bailey acts as chief since Karev and Jo are stuck at their house, unable to maneuver the roads to get to the hospital. Richard tells Bailey that he was arrested for losing his temper in the bar last week and Bailey benches him.

Teddy is still in town and still making every excuse not to tell Owen that she’s pregnant with his baby. Owen is distracted by Amelia who is in a tizzy because Betty’s been missing for three days. Maggie and Avery are frosty with each other and Cece wants to set Meredith up with Dr. Linc between breathing treatments, as DeLuca pines for Meredith from across the hospital bed.

Now it’s time for mass chaos!

It’s all hands on deck in the ER. One woman’s glass door shattered and fifty shards are in her body. Another woman has a selfie stick IN HER HEAD. And then there’s the man who has holiday yard art in the shape of a candy cane sticking out from his shoulder, through his body, and out below his ribs.

Meredith, Maggie, and Linc take Glass Door Lady. As doctors do, Maggie blabs on about her personal life, questioning her decision to walk out on Jackson. Linc works diligently, looking very handsome with his new haircut and megawatt smile. Once everything is under control Meredith leaves. She’s not in the mood to hear Maggie whine about her love life.

Selfie Stick Woman is lucid, irritated that she’s in this predicament, and about to lose her mind because Amelia is not taking the stick out of her head. Amelia explains that she can’t just pull it out. In other bad news, the surgery is extremely dangerous and it might be best if Selfie made a few phone calls before they head to the OR. The poor woman calls her mother and gives explicit instructions on how to take care of her dog. This is when I figured the woman was definitely going to die.

Then there’s Old Candy Cane Man and his wife nagging about the argument that led the man to leave and take a walk by the wretched neighbor’s house who has the audacity to decorate their lawn with holiday attire before Thanksgiving. Look at him now! While the old couple yell at each other, Teddy notices Betty has come into the ER and motions for Owen to go to her.

Amelia sees her too and she is hot. There’s a gash in Betty’s head, thanks to a falling tree. Amelia orders a CT and a tox scan. Betty stops her. She confesses that the test will reveal that she’s high. Amelia can’t even and leaves to go remove a selfie stick from a woman’s skull.

Meanwhile, Kim heads over to the clinic to make sure Schmitt is okay. To say there was tension is an understatement. Schmitt is livid at the way Kim treated him in the elevator and Kim claps back that this is exactly what he didn’t want. Who needs the drama and the shame spiral? He turns to leave and Schmitt warns him that the crosswind from the ambulance bay is dangerous and he should stay put. Kim doesn’t listen and is sucked out of the clinic the minute he opens the doors. Schmitt Army crawls to rescue him and they take refuge in an ambulance.

Back in the OR, Amelia and Helm do everything they can to save Selfie Stick Woman, but her brain stem has already gone dark. It turns out she is a donor and it just so happens that her blood type matches Cece’s. Helm books it to find Meredith and to call UNOS. Our favorite matchmaker will be saved! Later, Amelia answers Selfie’s phone and breaks the news to her mother that Selfie has passed away. Then Amelia finds Betty in the ER and hugs her tight, making her promise that she will always come home.

Speaking of home, Maggie is so glad Meredith is back so she can keep her from drinking full bottles of wine at night because she’s so stressed out about Jackson. Thanks to her surgical mask, you can see an epic eye roll from Dr. Grey. After saving Glass Door Lady, Maggie follows Meredith into the scrub room, demanding to know why she doesn’t have her back when it comes to Jackson? Meredith caves. She tells Maggie that Catherine has inoperable (more than likely) cancer and Jackson is going to need Maggie when he finds out. So will Richard. It’s time to not care so much about yourself. (Recap continued on next page)

As much as Maggie openly talks about her feelings, Teddy is the exact opposite. Except when she asks Owen to meet her for coffee after surgery because she needs to tell him something. Finally. Owen agrees, but when he, Teddy, and Jackson are working on Old Candy Cane Man, Owen channels his inner Maggie and begins to push Teddy about what it is she needs to talk about? Because performing surgery is like laying on a therapist’s couch apparently.

Teddy wants to focus on the surgery. Owen is like a dog with a bone. Once the candy cane is pulled from the man’s abdomen, and all major organs are miraculously unscathed, Teddy chooses this moment to tell Owen that she’s pregnant. With his baby. Right there. Bloody candy cane in hand. Jackson staring in shock. Orderlies and nurses frozen in place. This does not seem healthy, but I love it!

While bombs are dropping in that OR, Helm is running around like a mad woman prepping everyone else for Cece’s transplant. Since UNOS can’t fly to Seattle due to weather, Bailey is free to give the organs to whomever she wants. Everyone celebrates, except DeLuca. He takes the time to warn Cece about how the risks could be catastrophic and there’s a chance she won’t make it off of Dr. Grey’s table.

Cece smiles and says she won’t go down without a fight. She encourages Meredith to squeeze out all the love and joy life has to offer, or she’ll come back to haunt her. Above or below ground. Meredith leaves Cece’s room and runs into Linc. She looks at him and says, “Yes. Yes to a drink. I assume the offer still stands?” They agree to meet at the bar if it’s still standing after work.

And there’s poor DeLuca, watching from the sidelines again. But don’t feel sorry for him. He tracks down Meredith and bravely lets her know that he knows she has romantic options, but he wants to be one of them. Things get very close and very heated with digital brains swirling in the background. Using all the willpower in the world, Meredith pulls back from the smoldering doctor because she doesn’t trust her thinking. Note that she will be thinking about it. So will I, but I still can’t decide if I’m on board with this pending union.

I’m also not sure I’m on board with a Schmitt/Kim union. We all saw this coming, right? In the ambulance, we learn that Schmitt is not in a shame spiral because he’s just discovered that he’s truly interested in other guys. His days in his mother’s basement playing Dungeons and Dragons didn’t afford him the opportunity to date much. He always knew he had feelings for guys, but never understood these feelings until Kim kissed him.

When he starts monologuing about some D&D sun sword, Kim shuts him up by kissing him again. I’m sure they do lots of other things, too. Who knew nerdy role-playing games were such great icebreakers? Maybe I should try that the next time I’m stuck in an ambulance with someone cute.

The last moments of the episode are classic Grey’s Anatomy drama. Bailey makes Richard promise he’ll get a new sponsor. Richard tells Bailey that leaving her husband has not helped her stress levels. Maggie tells Jackson about Catherine.

Owen runs after Teddy to have an actual conversation about the life-changing news she just dropped on him, but she’s heading into surgery to remove the license plate protruding from this dude’s sternum. He shoves the orderly out of the elevator, but it stops on the next floor for someone to get on. Guess who it is? Amelia, naturally. What a fun trio.

DeLuca runs to catch up with Meredith and hops in the elevator with her. Of course, she knows that nothing good happens in Grey Sloan elevators so she makes him get out. He doesn’t because he’s scrubbing in for Cece’s surgery, too. He promises to stay in the corner and not make eye contact. Yeah, right.

Just as everything seems copacetic, the electricity goes out. We see Cece in the operating room, ready to go. Sadly her surgeons are stuck in an elevator. And even if they were able to get there, her organs are stuck in another elevator with Helm and Bailey working to keep the Selfie Stick Lady alive.

But nothing compares to Teddy, Owen, and Amelia stuck together. Amelia knows something is going on and she wants someone to spill their guts. Preferably not the license plate guy on the gurney. See? Nothing good happens on elevators at Grey Sloan.

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