Richard Cartwright/ABC
November 16, 2017 at 11:39 PM EST

Grey's Anatomy

TV Show
run date
Ellen Pompeo, Chandra Wilson, Justin Chambers, James Pickens Jr.
We gave it a C+

The technology shutdown immediately starts wreaking havoc: A line starts to form for the CT machine. Karev and Owen even have a figurative pissing contest over their respective patients’ places in said line, with Karev telling Owen his child patient (cutie-pie Frankie) trumps Owen’s adult one in this screwed up game of human poker.

Webber, meanwhile, is in his old-school element. This catastrophe gives the OG a chance to shine. He gathers everyone and tells them that they’re going to need to be their own record keepers and that everything will need to be tracked on paper. Kepner declares it the “stone age” but later eats her words when Webber shows them all a very cool trick involving an IV bag and a newspaper to see if a patient has blood in her stomach. He also helps DeLuca out with a patient using a hands-on, old-fashioned method for slowing a guy’s heart rate down. Talk about gangsta.

But then we’re reminded of how old Grampa Webber is when he volunteers to pay the nearly 5K in Bitcoin in order to get them out of this mess. IT Tim tells him that translates to $20 million. The FBI tells Bailey that normally these hackers ask for an amount they think you can handle. She realizes this must have happened because the contest was announced, which then gives her the idea to ask her anonymous donor for the money. The Feds implore her not to pay the ransom though, citing thousands of hypothetical patients who could be affected by the outcome of one hospital paying an unprecedented ransom amount. Jackson tells her if she changes her mind, all it will take is a phone call to the anonymous contest backer.

Meredith’s surgery is going decently considering she’s only got a scope to guide her, but then she needs blood, so she sends Glasses, who’s unable to get into the electronically locked blood vault. Some of that Harper Avery ingenuity strikes, though, when she gets the idea to hook him up (guess who has the same blood type as her patient) for a live blood transfusion.

Arizona and Carina are dealing with a pregnant patient who came in because she initially thought a home water birth in a kiddie pool was a good idea. Because the computers are down, they can’t access the epidurals, which, as you can imagine, is not welcome news to a woman who’s facing pushing a human out of her vag. Carina unsurprisingly can’t calm the woman down, even with all her oh-so-helpful orgasm suggestions. Arizona tries as well to talk her down, but the woman is freaking out, saying she’s simply not ready to be a mom. In a Clear-Eyes-Full-Hearts-esque speech, Arizona convinces her to push, and holy Coach Taylor, does she ever. After releasing a primordial scream, the woman delivers her baby while standing, no less!

Frankie may have thrown another clot, and as he’s throwing up he asks Karev to promise that if he dies, Karev will marry his mom. “She really likes you, and I know she’ll be safe,” Frankie says. As I try not to tear up, I think of how I can’t even get my kid to share her banana with me. Karev is determined not to let Frankie die, and Jo goes on a wild goose chase to find out if they can give Frankie the blood thinner, Heparin. Since they can’t access his patient file, they don’t know if he’s received vitamin K, and as such, they don’t know if it’s safe to give him the Heparin. Jo is running down nurses throughout the hospital to find out, as Frankie’s time is clearly running out.

Maggie and Jackson decide that Claude needs to be transferred. As they’re taking him up to the helipad on the roof, they’re making small talk in the longest elevator ride ever when they realize that they both went to the same Boston country club when they were young — only Jackson went as a member and Maggie worked there. As they’re in the helicopter, Jackson says he can’t believe he didn’t notice her. She assures him that he wouldn’t have noticed her back then. “Some people sneak up on you,” Jackson tells her before grabbing her hand because she’s nervous about the bumpy ride. Before their flirtation can continue, blood starts spurting everywhere. The turbulence has caused Claude’s tube to come loose.

Fed up with this nonsense, Owen busts into the room where the FBI look busy but don’t seem to be getting anywhere. He tells Bailey they need to start evacuating patients. The FBI is not as quick at finding hackers as they are at arriving somewhere without being called, though, and so they say they need more time. Bailey informs him that their time is up and that she can’t be worried about hypothetical patients. She says she’s calling Aretha to get the money.

But Aretha is otherwise occupied in the helicopter from hell. The last we see is his blood-covered cell phone ringing.

Jo finally catches up to the right nurse who was leaving after finishing his shift, and it turns out Frankie shouldn’t get Heparin. She runs back into the hospital to tell Karev not to give him the blood thinner at the same time we see Karev preparing to do just that. Realizing she will likely not make it, she tries texting Alex but it won’t go through. As the elevator doors open and she races off the lift, she’s suddenly stopped cold by her estranged and abusive husband, Paul (Matthew Morrison). “Hey, Brooke. Oh, wait, it’s Jo now, right?”

As was clearly the theme in this episode: Some disasters you just don’t see coming.

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