It's a rough day for the mothers in Seattle.

By Ariana Bacle
March 13, 2015 at 04:52 PM EDT

Remember that Post-It, the one that united Meredith and Derek together forever? The one they—and we—thought was a binding contract between the two? Well, Meredith throws all that away in the beginning of this episode when she trashes the framed Post-It after Derek leaves for D.C. And this is how Grey’s makes its return after two months away.

Meredith’s bitterness toward Derek is expected, sure—he did decide to leave Seattle in the last episode we saw, after all—but it’s also heart-shattering. The two have had their ups and downs throughout the show, but they’ve always seemed like the couple that was going to work. But right now? They are definitely not working.

Because Derek’s gone, Meredith has to find a nanny to care for their kids while she’s at work. She gets derailed by work though when Owen announces today’s big assignment: A woman drove herself—and her two kids—off a bridge, resulting in a multi-car accident. “Maybe she needed a nanny,” Meredith quips. What she really needed was surgery, but we’ll get to that later.

Speaking of kids, April found out hers might have osteogenesis imperfecta. In non-doctor speak: her unborn child could have bones so fragile that they often break without reason—and could live only a few days outside of the womb, if that. This news is awful, obviously, and Jackson thinks April should spend some time outside of work to deal with it—but April wants to work, so she does. And honestly, being distracted by saving someone’s life in an OR sounds a lot better than wallowing at home and Googling osteogenesis imperfecta.

Jackson, being the worried husband that he is, gets involved and asks Owen to get her out of the OR. Owen tries to, but April fights him. Her reaction seems justifiable at first, but then she starts maniacally cackling and it gets weird real fast. Eventually, Owen orders her to drop her tools and she steps out only to confront Jackson. This episode is extremely feminist, and April scolding Jackson is one example of that: She’s pissed that he and Owen are treating her like “a little lady” in trouble, which they totally are—but also, she is in trouble and it seems like they are more worried about her well-being as a human than asserting their dominance over her. But April’s going through some shit, so this is probably not the time to question her logic.

While Meredith and April are dealing with their personal struggles, Arizona is trying to help Herman get rid of her brain tumor. At first, Herman’s pissed because Arizona broke her trust, but eventually she realizes getting her life saved doesn’t seem like the worst option and goes to Amelia for her medical opinion. “The tumor is smart, it’s brilliant,” Amelia tells her. “But so am I.” This is one of many times the tumor is personified in the episode, which makes me kind of want to give it a name. But I’ll leave that for Herman to do.

After some characteristically stubborn pushback from Herman, Amelia tries to convince her they need to operate, like, yesterday. Herman continues to be stubborn and says, very calmly, that she wants to wait until the last moment possible to operate. She might be a pain in the butt, but she also has some solid reasoning: The longer they wait, the more time she has to impart her knowledge on Arizona, and the longer she has her life. If they operate now, there’s a very good chance she could die on the table. So there’s that. As the show has taught us again and again, tumors are the worst.

NEXT: Meredith’s day doesn’t seem quite so bad now…

On the subject of tumors, Meredith proposes that the woman who drove her car off a bridge has one. That would explain her behavior, and would mean she’s not a “lunatic” as April likes to call her. She turns out to be right because, duh, she’s Meredith Grey. This is good for her, good for the woman, and good for the woman’s husband, who was on the verge of having an (understandable) breakdown.

This diagnosis meant Meredith had an awesome day work-wise, but she starts having her own breakdown during a conversation with a potential nanny. “I need a person who is in it with me,” Meredith tells her through tears, “and who believes in that.” The potential nanny responds to this rant of sorts by hugging Grey—so this means she gets the job, right?

Later, Meredith makes it home and calls Derek to tell him to go to D.C., that they will make this work. She was inspired by Owen, who said he told Cristina to go because it’s what she needed to do. Derek and Meredith have a surprisingly pleasant conversation that consists of them saying “We can do this” to each other a few times, and it concludes with Meredith taking the Post-It out of the trash and hanging it back up above the bed. Phew. Love isn’t dead (yet)!

Jackson and April have their own sweet couple moment—but sadder—when Jackson tells her he’s there for her for whatever she needs. April is not always the most likable character, especially when she does things like yell at Edwards for doing something completely reasonable, but this whole situation is so sad that it’s hard not to feel some sympathy for her. She orders Jackson not to hold her because she’s scared she’ll never stop crying if he does—and when she says it, I believe her. It’s not just that her baby is sick, but her baby is sick and she doesn’t understand why God would do this to her. Your body letting you down is one thing, but your body and your faith letting you down? That’s heartbreaking.

Jackson ends up holding her anyway though, because that’s about the only thing to do after she reveals some news. “Did I tell you it’s a boy?” she says before beginning what will probably be an hours-long cry-fest (for her and for me).

At the end of his phone call with Meredith, Derek says, “We will make this work.” Does that line apply to just his relationship with Meredith, or with everything in the show? I’d like to think the latter, but then again, this is Grey’s. And Grey’s is a show that opened this episode with a broken logo—meaning that the rest of this reason is probably not going to be full of things working. But we can still hope (take that, Herman).


— A 7-year-old hurt in the accident has some of the show’s best lines, including this zinger that he uses to insult his older brother: “You’re a crap driver and your mustache is stupid.”

— The episode mostly focuses on April’s reaction to the news about their baby, but Jackson gets a moment to grieve when Richard finds him in the supply closet. Jackson responds by breaking down crying in a rare moment of vulnerability for the usually stoic character.

— Cristina makes her way into the episode! Okay, okay, Meredith just mentions her a couple times, but still—we’ve gotta take what we can get. Apparently they usually have Friday night-Saturday morning dates (remember: time difference) involving alcohol and take-out. So how can I get in on that?