Grey's Anatomy recap: 'Two Against One'
There's something rotten in Bailey's son's bedroom; Meredith won't let Cristina play with her new toy
Bailey smells something rotten in her son Tuck’s bedroom. Luckily, the two-challenge rule applied to Grey Sloan Memorial’s ORs is not in effect on her home turf, so she gets to keep obsessing over it as long as she needs to. And what do you know — there are gross, dead apples in Tuck’s neglected soccer bag. So she’s not totally crazy.
But she’s still very, very afflicted. I’d somewhat forgotten about this whole plot line because Bailey’s had barely anything to do in weeks. But as the one responsible for the hospital’s staph infection outbreak, Bailey’s having a hard time getting back into the operating room. She’s freaked out about possible contaminants and needs to have Intern Jo keep flushing out a patient’s abdomen just to be totally sure it’s clean. It may just take time — or more flushes.
I know Bailey was probably being really annoying to the other medical staff in the OR, but if I were the patient and a “part of my ass” were about to be part of my throat, I’d probably want a hyper-cautious former Patient Zero to fuss so much over me. She thinks she sees a bubble? Let her see bubble wrap! Please pop all the bubbles everywhere. Who wouldn’t prefer a thorough flush?
I loved Bailey’s husband Ben in this episode — his extreme patience and ability to smize (smile with the eyes) under that surgical mask had such a calming affect on his wife when she needed it the most, so I’m glad he’s sticking around.
Fueled by her tiff with Cristina (who doesn’t think her “person” can be a great surgeon and a great mother), Meredith is on a professional power trip, conducting time-consuming research on her new 3D printing machine — a scientifically advanced and possibly magical thing-creating toy. You want a thing? You got it! Name your favorite piece of flatware.
NEXT: No sex for you! “Do you think they made a heart?” the interns buzzed before Dr. Grey’s buzzkill of a presentation. Nope. It’s just a fork. “Welcome to the age of personalized medicine,” Meredith announced, holding up the utensil. It’s what’s for dinner. “A heart’s too complicated,” after all.
Or is it? That’s exactly what Shane and Yang want to use Meredith’s new gadget to create — not an entire heart, but a conduit composed of biological material so that the left side of their baby patient’s heart could pump blood to the rest of his body. (The patient was rejecting a synthetic conduit.) The Japanese have done it, so why can’t they?
Well, it’s tricky. If Mer and Cristina weren’t fighting, I’d think Mer would be excited that Yang so quickly wanted to implement her initiative, especially after the lukewarm reception she’d gotten at the grand revealing of the fork. Sure, the timing would be inconvenient for Mer’s research, but she’d normally seize the opportunity to save a life. She’d at least consider it, I think, and help Cristina avoid the messy paperwork and red tape. But nope. Cristina and Shane stay after-hours, intercept Mer’s very confused new toy which was probably about to construct a state-of-the-art dinglehopper, and nicely ask it to fashion a crazy heart apparatus. (The result looks like what might happen if the roller coaster in the ShondaLand logo went completely off the rails.)
Meredith’s wounds from the Cristina feud corrupt her surgical tactics this week, too — instead of working with Alex and following the tumor-removal plan they’d prepared together for his about-to-age-out-of-pediactrics patient, she’s out to prove something and bulldozes down her own over-ambitious alternate path instead. She thinks she’s Moses or something. Intern Edwards and Alex have to enact Webber’s two-challenge rule against her. Tumor No. 8 remains in poor Will’s liver. Yang was right, Alex fumes at Meredith. “You were a lousy doctor today.”
Meanwhile, in God’s country, April and Matthew are at a standstill, with their entire bodies pressed against each other in the most perfect, completely vertical hug I’ve ever seen. But that’s all they’re allowed to do, she says. Matthew confides in her that he wants to just get sex out of the way so he can stop obsessing over how she’s done it and he hasn’t. He has her pressed up against an ambulance and everything. Do it, April! Get drunk again, this time on sex!
NEXT: Emma speed-dates through the hospital But she WON’T. After having a heart-to-heart with Webber, who spoke of getting himself back after losing himself, April decides to connect the dots. Her own stumble in her faith = his life-threatening electrical shock adventure. She needs to get back to who she was before she screwed Jackson again and again and again and again. And again. April breaks this news to a dejected Matthew, who moments ago had been so hot ‘n’ horny having just finished fixing the sheets on his angelic white bed.
April! Self-sabotage much? This guy had just told her that if they wait ’til their wedding night, he’ll be thinking about her past indiscretions the whole time they try to have their God-sanctioned married-people sex. So she’s effectively dooming her wedding night. And probably the wedding day, too. And a few days before that. Months, maybe. Basically they should probably just break up right now. I did really like seeing more of Matthew, though. He is quite the visual treat.
Meanwhile, Callie’s interviewing Owen’s new flame Emma for a job at SGM. You’d think the orthopedic powerhouse would ask about medical stuff, but Torres has been on an “I gotta be me!” streak as of late, so she wants to know all about what Emma does for fun on Saturday nights. She wants to know what feeds Emma’s soul and whether she wants to have kids. Emma’s like ummmm…. nope. Illegal. Weird. “We do way-too-personal on a daily basis,” Arizona confirmed to Emma in the hallway once the job interview/creepy first date had ended.
Well, no thanks, then. Emma had worked with her ex-husband before, and it was the death of them. If she worked with Owen and things got serious, all of Owen’s “people” would end up choosing him over her. I don’t even think that’s true! Owen’s not even on the all-important Board. But Emma can’t risk it. She turns down the job.
Of note: Arizona and Intern Murphy’s relationship has upgraded from a maybe-something to an official thing. “Not a thing-thing, but an uncomplicated, exciting, nice thing,” to be exact. The two are currently showering together, and I must find Arizona’s adorable blue geometric-patterned makeup bag for myself.
NEXT: McSteamy mention! Derek and Jackson team up to eliminate the bothersome facial twitch of the guy who sold Meredith her new toy. “You are the face of new medicine. Don’t you want that face to be twitch-free?” the easy-breezy-beautiful Dr. Dreamy McHair asked poor no-name twitchyface, who also sells ink cartridges. (I think his name was Harvey?) I mean… fine, when you put it that way, handsome man. Sure. Get in there. Derek does have plenty of experience being the face of things. He is the expert.
No new developments in the maybe-something relationship between Jackson and Intern Edwards this week. Instead, he refuses to let Intern Murphy do anything for his patients without his supervision. It feels like we’ve been over this plot line with everyone at the hospital — but the rehash does give Derek a good chance to call up the mock-bullying verbal stylings of Mark Sloan (R.I.P. your clothes off). So that was cute.
In the most heartwarming and at times sleep-induing story line of the week, Dr. Webber’s neighbor patient C.J., who is going commando, keeps trying to get him to “take laps” with her around the hospital, but he still refuses to move. When C.J. collapses for real, Webber’s medical instincts jump back to life along with his languishing carcass and he rushes outside to pump her heart. He’s back in action! Webber is ready to get himself back. I’m ready for him to mail me that incredibly cozy-looking purple striped robe so I can luxuriate in it while recapping Grey’s Anatomy.
Did you also giggle when a super-serious Bailey said “I need a quiet OR so we can begin,” only to be immediately drowned out by the IT’S SURGERY TIME swelling trance music? Would you likely eat more or less pizza overall if Intern Jo had given you her standard wedding gift — a pizza stone? What would you have the magical thing-making thing make? Will April and Matthew survive?