George and Izzie realize that their long-awaited best sex ever isn't going to happen; plus, Meredith lets Lexie open up to her, and Bailey becomes chief resident
  • TV Show

”Grey’s Anatomy” recap: Bad sex alert!

Well, friends, are we psyched? This was the episode we’ve been waiting for since last spring! George and Izzie are finally on the old Grey’s Anatomy road to ruin. And I admit this is a good lesson in Grey’s viewing as well as life: Sit tight if you hate something, as nothing is permanent. Who knew Seattle Grace was as good as an ashram?

Meredith’s narration broke it down thusly for the non-Buddhist scholars among us: ”When you’re talking about human chemistry, only one thing matters — either you’ve got it or you don’t.” Ah, also so true. (Lesson in why Internet dating can go so badly so quickly.) And the Chief and Derek seemed to have plenty of chemistry themselves, with the Dreamster gallantly stepping in to help the about-to-be-divorcé with basics like laundry in exchange for ”movie nights” with the Chief’s DVD collection (which would have to be damn good for me to be tending to his dirty clothes, but we all know what a pushover Derek is). Dr. Bitch, meanwhile, was having no chemistry with anyone, basically, but especially not with Cristina — she switched up the schedule just to keep Dr. Yang away from her precious cardio.

George and Izzie’s lack of mojo even spilled into poor Meredith’s day (and I say ”poor Meredith” with no irony for once) when they both wanted to bend her ear first thing in the morning about…oh my God, what’s that? The sex not being good? How shocking! Who could’ve seen that coming? Though I gotta say the entire Gizzie debacle may have been worth it just for the terrified look on Mer’s face (mirroring, I think, much of what we’ve gone through watching this the past few months) as they detailed just how bad it was. Lots of funny this episode. I like.

I could, however, live without all the bowel-movement talk from that one cranky patient of Alex’s. And without Lexie, who’s getting tiresome with all her flitting about just whining over people’s shoulders about Meredith not liking her. ”What did I say to you about talking to me about your personal life?” Cristina snapped at her, echoing my sentiments. One quibble, though: Isn’t that what they pretty much do at this hospital?

Oh, right, they also treat patients, and a few seconds later Cristina had a mom passing out on her just after bringing her adopted baby in for treatment. But as soon as Dr. Hahn swooped in to help treat her, she was all, ”We’ve got it from here, Yang.” Really, was this woman in love with Burke or something before? Because there has to be more to her extreme, well, rudeness to Cristina, who by all accounts really is a good surgeon. Not helping the cause of powerful women at all to not only act this unapologetically bitchy but also take a good woman down. And speaking of woman-on-woman insults, that plastic-surgery patient accusing Izzie of having ”worry lines”? Jeez, that’s not even funny as a joke in a script. What the hell do the rest of us have if Katherine Heigl has worry lines? Small-scale ravines?

In the man-on-woman-insult department, we had Alex and Lexie. Apparently he was bucking to surpass Dr. Sloan in the jackass department, responding to her medical page by saying, ”You paged me because your legs are still shaking from the other night and you’re trying to work up the nerve to invite me to our friendly neighborhood on-call room.” Though I must say: You can scoff with indignation all you want, girls, but this kind of crap works on some of our kind all the time in the real world. I’d even be sorta okay with it if she had given him a hard time back for a bit — is even a straightforward, unoriginal ”You wish” too much to ask? Apparently so for the ever-earnest Grey; all she wanted to talk about was how sorry she was that their hookup had upset the dark-and-twisty Grey. Alex did have the unequivocally right answer to that: ”Sorry, your issues can’t be my issues, but I’m here for the sex if you need it.”

George and Izzie still insisted on trying for their own leg-shaking hookup, and they do bring up a good point: Most of the time there are reasons we are just friends with certain straight members of the opposite sex, even though they are straight members of the opposite sex. (We forget this, having watched When Harry Met Sally 8.2 trillion times.) Sometimes it’s because we have massively mismatched issues that could never coexist romantically; sometimes the sex just doesn’t work. (Even Izzie’s genuinely cute green nightie and ”box of fun” — e.g., booze — didn’t do it for them.) And the only thing weirder than having mind-blowing sex with your best friend is having terrible sex with your best friend. More pressingly, though: Any theories on what fantasy of Izzie’s they could’ve possibly been acting out? On second thought, keep that to yourself; I don’t want you getting kicked off the message boards here. Talk about that whole deep When Harry Met Sally thing instead.

I also do legitimately like the attitude adjustment Hahn is giving Cristina, even though I think it’s woefully unjustified from her end of things. She has no business being so harsh, but it’s doing our girl some good anyway. Even better was that Callie-jamming-to-surgery scene — and Bailey’s genius handling of everyone’s administrative issues since their chief resident had mentally checked out of the job. Putting the crap-talking man and plastic-surgery lady in the same room so they’d drive each other crazy and get the hell out? Brilliant, even if we totally saw the sex thing coming for them later! I have to say the scripts are doing a great job lately, too, of mixing everybody up into new conflicts and, more important, alliances: first Cristina and Callie, and now Cristina and Mark bonding over their own professional identity crises. Sandra Oh broke my heart a little when she said, ”Holding a heart is way better,” as they watched Hahn’s surgery from above. Sloan broke my heart in a whole different way, though, when he claimed to ”have a thing” for Hahn. If that doesn’t prove the whole ”act busy and important” rule for getting a guy to notice you, I don’t know what does.

NEXT: Lexie’s secrets

Lexie did not follow that or any other rules in pursuing Alex, though — she actually showed up at the house to ask him out for a drink, prompting Meredith to make ”a rule” that Alex couldn’t sleep or drink with her half sister. Though that could have been a big favor to Lexie and driven him to her just out of spite, he chose once again to step out of it (proving he’s just not that into her, if you ask me). The girls were forced to (sorta, almost) confront their issues, though, when that collapsing mom died, leaving her husband with an adopted baby he didn’t care about. ”I bet you know her better than you think you do,” Meredith told him, urging him to try to bond with his new daughter and underlining the metaphorical significance of it all with Lexie sitting right there. You had to know right then what was about to come: Dad would hold the (obscenely cute) baby, and Lexie would come to Meredith and say, ”I hate apples…” and a bunch of other stuff Meredith should know because they’re sisters and whatnot. (Perhaps because I still had Harry and Sally on my mind, I was waiting for her to start saying things like ”I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out.”)

The Chief, meanwhile, finally decided to make Bailey chief resident instead of Callie, and — Emmy reel alert! — Chandra Wilson did more with the line ”It’s about time you noticed” than some people do with entire movie scripts. Lexie said her first sensible thing in a while when she moaned to the bartender, ”I told her I can draw with an Etch-a-Sketch….No wonder she thinks I’m pathetic.” And Hahn continued to be nothing but sensible when she rebuffed Sloan by saying, ”Mostly you’re attracted to me because I’m not attracted to you.”

The big ending reveal of the night, though, came when Alex took Lexie home and found out Daddy Grey is a big stumbling alcoholic — and took a break from being an ass long enough to stop him from driving to the store drunk to buy more scotch. And I’m feeling bad for disparaging Lexie already….

What do you think? Are George and Izzie over? Do Lexie and Alex have a future? And how is Bailey going to shake things up as chief resident?

Episode Recaps

Grey's Anatomy

Meredith. Alex. Bailey. The doctors are definitely in on Shonda Rhimes' hospital melodrama.

  • TV Show
  • 18
  • Shonda Rhimes
stream service