Time to cast your vote, TV Watchers. There are two choices. Two very different candidates: Blair and Serena. Who do you think won Bitch War 2008? I’ll let you dwell on that and get back to the episode at hand (I’m going to ignore the opening My Fair Lady fantasy. I don’t like when they do these little dream sequences. It feels like a 12:45 a.m. SNL skit.) It’s college visit time and apparently everyone in the Gossip Girl universe now wants to go to Yale. How very Lorelai Gilmore of them all? But didn’t Dan foam at the mouth at the thought of going to Dartmouth? What changed? In any case, the vitriol was in full force on last night’s episode, with Blair in particular saying some fabulously frigid things. Serena’s star seems to be on the rise even higher than last week, with an appearance in Page Six, not to mention Dorota announcing that she heard Marc Jacobs named a purse after her. She has made it! All of the attention has only served to further fuel Blair’s jealousy.
Serena may be the star of the media but Blair is quickly becoming the star of this show. My favorite was when she came clean with Serena and simply told her she would never get into Yale because “You’re not that smart.” In Serena’s defense, though, she was dressed quite intelligently with that fabulous crested blazer. (True confession: My inner monologue upon seeing that blazer went something like this: “I wonder if that comes in men’s sizes?”) Anyways, would Yale really be impressed with the fact that Serena was in a fashion show, especially one as low-rent as Eleanor Waldorf’s? I think the dean was more impressed with Serena’s lack of bra. I loved that outfit but I’m not sure jeans, boots, and a low-cut blouse are the ideal college interview ensemble. Although maybe if I had shown a little cleave, I could have gotten into an Ivy League school. Damn. Hindsight is a bummer.
This is random observation but I’m a little obsessed with Shirley, the dean’s secretary, and all of her porcelain cats. I’ve always felt there should be more porcelain animal figurines on television, and here was my vindication.
Now back to Serena’s boobs. They were once again on display at the dean’s party. I loved that dress but, Serena, this ain’t cocktails at STK. On the opposite end, Blair was dressed like she was doing Our Town. Enough with the frills! The one-upping between Blair and Serena during the party was absolutely hilarious. The capper, though, was Blair changing Serena’s answer to Pete Fairmond, who, as Blair put it, “is the man she killed!” My reaction was something akin to a cackle. The true highlight though was the Dynasty-style catfight the girls had on the porch, complete with Serena yelling, “I hate this headband!” and beating Blair with her own clutch. I only wish there’d been a nearby pool or fountain or even a conveniently situated kiddie pool filled with Jell-O. After their homage to Monday Night Raw, the ladies actually managed to patch things up — mostly because there really wouldn’t be a show without these two talking to each other. Still, it turned out that Serena was the dean’s favorite thanks to her celebrity status. Or perhaps the fact that she didn’t wear an awkward cloche hat to his office the way that Blair did; she looked like she dropped by on her way to the Kentucky Derby.
NEXT: Chuck’s Skull-king around