Feeling threatened on all fronts, from her mother to her best friend, Blair goes into overdrive, while Dan seeks inspiration for his weak writing
Blake Lively, Gossip Girl
Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW

It’s appropriate that Fashion Week brought out the b—- in pretty much all the female characters on Gossip Girl. Even Kirsten Dunst didn’t get through the night unscathed, with Laurel deeming her not front-row-worthy at Eleanor’s show. And even for Gossip Girl, there were a few too many rehab jokes aimed at Kiki D. and Marc Jacobs.

So exactly when did Serena become friends with this Poppy chick? How much time has passed since last week? Also, did anyone else feel like Serena began the episode much less diva-ish than she was at the end of last week’s episode? I thought she was like the new queen of the school. But enemies Serena and Blair are soooo much more fun than friends Serena and Blair. I laughed out loud when Serena’s seat card was replaced by ”Ramona Wong.” All the backstage subterfuge that Blair did was a little over the top for my tastes. I refuse to believe the entire group of models would leave if some little high schooler told them they were ”overbooked.” The switching of Jenny’s dress with Eleanor’s for Serena’s look was a little more realistic, but Serena’s runway walk could def use some upgrading; clearly she’s never watched America’s Next Top Model. Someone needs to get Miss J. on speed dial. Plus, who did they get to fill the front row? Ramona Wong and Kiki D.? And how long was that fashion show? It seemed like it went on for half an hour. The final moments, though, did set the stage for a rumble royale next week between Serena and Blair. I’m not sure these two will ever be friends again.

Speaking of Jenny, I really like this whole rebellion story line. The best moments with Jenny last season were when she was acting out, and so this plot really holds promise. Nothing was more heartless than when Rufus tried to get into the fashion show and she told the woman with the guest list her real dad was out of town (and BTW, I totally own that black-and-rose Western shirt rocked by Rufus). I’m a little surprised, though, that he just let Jenny walk away at the end after she told him she’s not going back to school.

After being told his writing was a big snooze — and let’s be honest, thinly veiled stories about Dan and Serena would read pretty lame — the younger Humphrey decided to shadow Chuck Bass for a walk on the wild side. The first night was relatively tame, but there was that amusing moment when Dan was left on the corner, shoeless, to walk home. I have to admit that when Dan said, ”Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle?” I was asking myself, ”Who knew there was a White Castle in Manhattan?” I sort of love how gloriously awful Dan’s pseudonym was for Mr. Bass: Charlie Trout. Really? Charlie Trout? Not Charlie Tuna? Or Chucky Blowfish? Um, does this kid really think he’s clever enough to get into Yale (very convenient that Dan now wants to go to Yale, the school that Blair loves too)? Chuck and Dan’s second night together proved more eventful and also provided more insight into Chuck. It turns out the guy just wants to be loved by his father. Everyone together now: ”Awwwwwwww.” But then things got a little less touchy-feely. After Chuck mistakenly offered a girl money for sex and Dan slugged the girl’s boyfriend, the two ended up in the slammer. Executive producer Stephanie Savage had told me that this scene was one of her favorites, and it was really well acted, especially by Ed Westwick. And we learned that Chuck’s mother died in childbirth while having him and that’s part of why his father despises him so much. I sort of have a feeling that Mrs. Bass might not actually be dead. What do you think, TV Watchers? My initial feeling was that she would be popping up for sweeps sometime very soon. But we most likely won’t be seeing Dan and Chuck hanging out again in the near future after Chuck discovered Dan’s writing and said he hoped Dan ended up a ”Humphrey sandwich” in jail.

NEXT: Mama’s little secret

Love that Lily posed for Mapplethorpe. I’m just dying for some Lily flashbacks. She’s totally Kate Hudson’s character in Almost Famous but all grown up and decked out in Chanel. We finally got to see Bart, too, and he bought Lily a killer necklace. How much do we think that cost? But he also brought something else: suspicion. It turns out that the rich dude basically created a dossier on her past which included one secret in particular that must be pretty devastating. My intel tells me that this secret will come into play in the second half of the season. What do you think it is, TV Watchers? I was sort of guessing that Lily has another child or something. Or maybe she has crabs? (She was a groupie, after all.) Or maybe there are photos of her wearing mom jeans and a fanny pack, while holding funnel cake at a local fair? I think all are plausible. Clearly, this lady has led quite a life.

Where were Vanessa and Nate in this episode? Their story lines were so important last week and they kinda got shafted last night. Perhaps Vanessa got a new shipment of beans in at the café and Nate found a new middle-aged lady?

I was actually on set for this episode back in August (a little trivia: The Constance Billard courtyard and Noah Shapiro’s office were shot at the same private school in Brooklyn Heights) and if you’re interested you can watch my behind-the-scenes video that I shot for EW.com. Once you get past my extreme close-up, it’s pretty entertaining…

What did you think of last night’s Gossip Girl? What’s Lily’s big secret?

Episode Recaps

Gossip Girl

Spotted: Serena, Dan, Blair, Chuck, Vanessa, and Nate — hooking up, breaking up, and freaking out. You know you love it! XOXO!

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