Gabriel and Poppy play mind games on Serena and trick her clan, while things heat up in the Nate, Chuck, and Blair love triangle

By Tim Stack
Updated April 28, 2009 at 04:00 AM EDT
Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW
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‘Gossip Girl’ recap: I can’t believe it’s (about) Butter

Last week, it was Cyrus’ ”Schmutz Happens…” This week, I’m obsessed with the ”OMJC” shirts worn by the campers at Georgina’s religious camp. Speaking of Ms. Sparks, I’m sooo happy for her return, even if she has, as she says in next week’s episode, ”let Jesus take the wheel.” (Somehow I knew that Gossip Girl would end up using that joke.) That camp reminded me of the one in Addams Family Values. Anyone else get flashbacks?

I’m also obsessed with Blair’s snobbery toward subways (”There’s no way I’m going down there. It’s full of mole men and middle-class professionals”), which she expounded on when Nate suggested it as their means of transportation getting between his uptown Columbia campus and her Village NYU campus. I have a similar feeling toward buses. Why take public transportation if you just have to sit in traffic?! Plus, I also ”loathe Murray Hill.” I knew there was a reason I always felt a kinship towards Blair. Her going to NYU is already starting to seem like a genius plan. Blair Waldorf interacting with hipsters and downtown folk is ripe for comedy. Can’t wait!

Speaking of which, I’m loving the Chuck/Nate/Blair triangle. Nate’s jealousy completely makes sense since Chuck’s bowtie has more personality than Nate. Seriously, though, Nate — Murray Hill? I feel like Blair would have rather set up shop in a shanty town underground with the mole men. It was sooo thrilling to see Blair and Chuck working together again as they set out to expose Gabriel for the liar that he was. The show fires on all cylinders when these two are plotting and manipulating.

Gabriel is the worst spy ever. First of all, meeting Poppy IN FRONT of Serena’s building? Helloooo, Agent Obvious. Also, is it me or is the man wearing like a pound of bronzer. Never trust a man wearing that much faux tanner! I can’t believe Serena would let him continue to date Poppy for a week while simultaneously dating her. Helloooo,CrazyPants. One of the best scenes of the evening had to have been when Serena and Blair were trying on dresses. The dialogue was so smart and funny, and it felt like old times with those frenemies back together again. Blair, in particular, had some delicious one-liners, such as: ”He’s having her cake and eating yours too.” Earmuffs, FCC!

Still, Gabriel’s plan became obvious in this episode: he’s basically bilking all of Serena’s family and friends out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. And the pixie-haired Poppy is helping him. This is what I was hinting at last week, TV Watchers: This story line is loosely based on Anne Hathaway’s whole boyfriend drama, as first reported by Michael Ausiello. My big question is why would Poppy now say that he also stole money from her? Is she just trying to look innocent? Also, I’m not sure that high schoolers attend coop board meetings. Aren’t they just about things like cleaning out the gutters and making sure there’s space for people to store their bikes?

Also, it’s sort of hilarious that the episode’s intrigue’s revolved around a supposed trip to the restaurant Butter. My favorite moment was when Gabriel admitted that he had zero idea what Butter was. Hilarious.

NEXT: Rufus is trying to figure out his future

This is the point at which we discuss my wardrobe highlights of the evening. I think my fave was either Blair’s pink and black floral dress that she wore when trying on clothes with Serena or Blair’s stunning yellow coat worn to see Georgina. Amazing. Now my big question is what did you all think of Serena’s Vena Cava dress that she wore to the coop meeting. I thought the dress itself was sexy but that the fit looked a little off. Maybe it was just my TV set?

Awww. Dan is still a cater waiter. That’s so cute. But I’m kinda over this whole ”Woe is me. I can’t go to Yale.” Just deal with it, dude. Disappointment is difficult. I want to marry Ryan Gosling but we can’t always get what we want.

What parent takes his/her kids thrift-store shopping for fun? Is Rufus a gypsy? That just seemed so weird that he would be there with Dan and Jennie, talking about trunks and eyeing a ring. And I cannot imagine that Lily van der Woodsen would accept a vintage engagement ring, especially one that looked like a prop from Doctor Who. I wouldn’t be surprised if lasers shot out of that thing. Not sexy, Rufus. Not sexy. Rufus seemed so sad and small fighting to invest with Gabriel. This is definitely not going to end well.

It was pretty genius to have Vanessa admit to Dan that she slept with Chuck during a game of ”I never….” Especially when she then admitted that they actually did the nasty twice. But does anyone else think it’s creepy that Vanessa just hangs out in the Humphrey apartment without any of the Humphreys present. She probably takes the hair off their pillows and makes little dolls out of them.

I honestly thought she would be more bummed about the gallery/coffee shop closing. Of course, she brought Rufus coffee to comfort him in his time of need. But, with Dan, she brought beer. At least the lady is switching up her beverages — that shows growth.

Eric is out of town? Where the hell is he? The White Party in Miami? The dude has been MIA foreva. He’d better come back with a cute boyfriend!

Revelation of the night #1: Dorota is a Mets fan. Frankly, I know nothing about sports — this is the Gossip Girl TV watch and not the SportsCenter one, after all.

Revelation of the night #2: The coop board at the van der Woodsen building rejected Bernie Madoff for five years. Yet somehow all those rich folks fell for Gabriel’s little Wi-Fi scheme. They’re suckers for a tan himbo. If only Bernie had gotten a trainer and a month of trips to Mystic Tan…

Last night’s episode of Gossip Girl actually featured a song called ”Run Away” by Rocketship Park. EW staffer Jill Bernstein’s husband, Michael, actually plays with the band so I had to give them the shout out! One problem? I’m not sure when the song played in the episode. But it’s a great track. TV Watchers, can you tell when this song played? Help a brutha out!

What did you think of this week’s Gossip Girl? Who will Blair end up with? Will Rufus and Lily get married?

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Gossip Girl

Spotted: Serena, Dan, Blair, Chuck, Vanessa, and Nate — hooking up, breaking up, and freaking out. You know you love it! Xoxo!
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