With Mr. Schu away, the Glee club members decide to explore their most embarrassing guilty pleasures

Credit: Jennifer Clasen/Fox
S4 E17

Just as quickly as Lord Tubbington made his return to Glee, I’m taking over Erin Strecker’s weekly recap! And the theme of the week was simple: guilty pleasures.

Wham!, Barry Manilow, Bobby Brown, the Spice Girls and Mamma Mia all made their way into this week’s lesson. OK, so technically Mr. Schu was out of town, which made this less of a lesson and more of an excuse to wear numerous sequins and the occasional platform shoe, but still, it was fun, right?

It all started when Blaine confronted Sam about the fact that he was stealing food from the school cafeteria. Was his family experiencing more financial troubles? Actually, no. Sam revealed that he had an artistic side: He enjoyed making macaroni portraits in his spare time. From LeAnn Rhimes to Kurt and even the guys of Duck Dynasty, Sam’s portraits were no joke. And when word spread that Glee practice had been canceled that week, Sam’s paintings gave Blaine the perfect (and oh-so-delicous) idea.

The task was simple: Dig up your deepest, darkest guilty pleasure and reveal it to all of your closest friends through song. Blaine went first by singing a duet with Sam of “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.” There were sunglasses, perms, scrunchies, black lights, and a little jitterbugging.

And after such a bright throwback number, how could anyone turn down a guilty pleasure assignment? Of course they couldn’t.

The first thing that Brittany did when she learned that it was guilty pleasures week was invite Kitty over to her house for a little Fondue for Two, where they discussed how much everyone hated Kitty and the fact that Lord Tubbington’s guilty pleasure was Scientology, naturally. So what was Kitty’s guilty pleasure? Well, other than farting around old people and watching almost all of the Bring It On movies, Kitty enjoyed the musical talents of five unforgettable Brits. Two words: Spice Girls.

NEXT: “Tell me what you want.”

And it. was. on. With Unique as Baby Spice, Marley as Posh Spice, Kitty as Ginger Spice, Brittany as Sporty Spice and Tina as Scary Spice, the Glee club girls took me back to my childhood with a little “Wannabe.” This was definitely the best guilty pleasure song of the night performance-wise. But I’m a sucker for anytime that Blaine gets behind a piano, which he did when he sang Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds.” More on that in a moment.

First, we can’t forget our favorite New York residents (and one squatter), who were busy celebrating their own guilty pleasures, which for Kurt involved Golden Girls, Richard Simmons, and something called a boyfriend arm. If you have ever thought about making a pillow that felt like a boyfriend’s arm so that you could sleep better at night, well, you aren’t alone. Bruce, as Kurt named his boyfriend pillow, was Kurt’s exclusive love at the moment. Mainly because Blaine was busy singing about his feelings for another man, which brings us back to Blaine’s best performance of the night.

Blaine’s rendition of “Take a Look at Me Now” seemed to be directed toward Sam, which was something that even Mr. Trouty Mouth picked up on, but not until after he too revealed his guilty pleasure. Yep, the rumors are true. Sam admitted to being a Fanilow. And as true Fanilows understand, there’s only one thing to do to show that love — sing “Copacabana.” And after Sam finished up his Fanilow confession, the rest of the guys admitted that they were also closeted Fanilows. Ryder even admitted that in a different time, he would drop the Bieber hair for a little Barry Manilow middle part. Picture that one.

At this point, guilty pleasures were unveiling themselves everywhere you looked, and some people’s weren’t as popular as Barry Manilow. Poor Jake, in an attempt to be honest with everyone, planned on doing a Chris Brown song, which was pretty much the biggest mistake a romantically-involved man could make. As his classmates told him, “Down with the Brown” and “Team breezy equals team awful.” Luckily, Jake listened and made a last-minute decision to switch Browns and sing Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative,” which bought him a few points, but not many. Better luck next time, Jake.

NEXT: Brody and Rachel are creeps

But don’t worry guys. Marley quickly forgave her dashing beau and admitted that her guilty pleasure was anything starring Jessica Simpson. OK, enough with the show’s most adorable couple. Let’s get to the show’s potentially most adorable couple: Sam and Blaine. Now that they were both out of the closet with their guilty pleasures, it was time for a good ol’ confrontation. In Sam’s words, “I’m your guilty pleasure.” Apparently, Sam had known about Blaine’s crush on him for a while, and he was OK with it. In fact, he would have been a little offended if it didn’t exist. And in terms of the sometimes awkward tension that comes about as a result of Blaine’s crush? Sam called it flattering. Well, that’s one way to look at it, I guess.

Miles away in NYC, Rachel couldn’t find a way to forgive Brody. After Santana revealed the fact that Brody was a gigolo, Rachel confronted him at school (P.S. When does Kate Hudson come back?!). Brody admitted to his mistakes, but he also called Rachel out on the fact that she slept with Finn at Mr. Schu’s non-wedding and that she was still in love with him. And when Rachel found out that Finn was the one who defended her honor with Brody, she admitted to wanting to make Finn jealous. The vocally-talented couple ended things the only way they knew how — with a song. Radiohead’s “Creep” to be exact.

And after Rachel was done creepin’, she returned home — where Kurt and Santana were enjoying a Facts of Life marathon with their boyfriend arms — and thanked Santana. Oh, and then she invited her to live with them permanently (yay!). The episode came to a close with a performance of “Mamma Mia” that involved lots of gold and white, a number of hula hoops and some rather snazzy platform shoes. I don’t know that there is a better way to end an episode than with gold platform shoes.

So are Rachel and Finn going to get back together now, or did you believe her when she said she wanted an older man? And what was that weird vibe happening between Artie and Kitty? Could they become a thing? And when will we learn more about Ryder’s cyber-girlfriend? Was it Jake? Do you want to see more Emma and Schu? And how much longer until Kurt ditches his boyfriend pillow and goes back to the adorable arms of Blaine?

NEXT: Musical grades and top lines

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go (Original by Wham!): A musical number lead by Blaine that involved leg warmers, old-school dance moves and perms? You could never go wrong with that combination. B+

Copacabana (Original by Barry Manilow): Sam gave it his best effort with a little costume, but where were my back-up dancers moving their hips and shimmying like it’s nobody’s business? C

Against All Odds (Original by Phil Colliins): Whenever Blaine sits behind a piano, I’m hooked. Add tear-filled eyes and what sounded like live vocals, and this performance was close to perfection. A-

Wannabe (Original by Spice Girls): The vocals were good, the vibe was fun, but I wasn’t too impressed with the costumes, probably because I’ve done better. Yes, I won a costume contest as one-fifth of the Spice Girls in college. So what? B+

My Prerogative (Original by Bobby Brown): Jake’s dance moves didn’t even need a vocal to partner with, but that didn’t stop him from singing his way into my heart. Did I mention the dance moves? B+

Creep (Original by Radiohead): I’m not going to lie. Brody and Rachel duets are some of my faves. And I loved the fact that they took on Radiohead and paired it with their out-of-this-world vocals. Was it “Give Your Heart A Break?” No. But it was great. A-

Mamma Mia (Original by ABBA): Sure, there were platform shoes and lots of rhinestones, but I wasn’t exactly obsessed with this performance. It was fun, but I think Glee can do better. B

Top Lines:

“Hunger is a problem in this country. So is obesity, which is confusing.” -Blaine

“The macaroni really captures him.” -Blaine on Sam’s macaroni portrait of Kurt

“My pastor says even Jesus took baby steps.” -Kitty

“This is a safe place. We’re on the Internet.” -Brittany

“Your boyfriend was a gigolo like Magic Mike with happy endings for money.” -Santana

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill

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