McKinley's Sadie Hawkins dance presents problems for everyone, including people who are no longer in high school

By Erin Strecker
Updated January 25, 2013 at 07:01 AM EST
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Eddy Chen/Fox

Glee

S4 E11
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  • TV Show
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Glee is a show that thinks it’s fly, but sometimes the plots strain even the show’s own unique world and logic. Last night – the return for the show after a mini-hiatus — was one of those times. The episode ostensibly revolved around a Tina-created Sadie Hawkins dance, but I found myself much more concerned with just about everything but the actual dance. Let’s work through some feelings together, shall we?

At a meeting of the (probably Tina-created) Too Young To Be Bitter Club, Tina decided she wanted to put on a dance. They voted at the student council, and it’s happening. Great! Finn – after a talk with Beiste – even decided to turn the dance-asking into the Glee club lesson of the week. Even better! What could possibly go wrong?

Everything, it turns out. Tina – empowered with more screentime than she’s had all season – kicked things off by singing her walking valentine to….BLAINE! While performing a perfectly lovely version of “I Don’t Know How To Love Him,” we got some flashbacks of Blaine being just so darn charming (If goofing around in the lunch line is our standard?) that Tina just flat-out decided to ignore the fact that he’d been in a relationship with Kurt – a guy – for the past year. Listen, Tina, I did a lot of theater in high school. I get it. But you broke the first rule of Glee club. You can go to dances with gay guys. You cannot act on crushes on men who are into men. Tina didn’t follow the rules, which made Blaine stuck in the crazy-uncomfortable situation of being publicly asked out. He shut her down, because Tina’s life is the worst.

Later, Blaine and Tina talked, Tina stared at Blaine’s jean-clad butt for a bit, and Blaine confided he couldn’t go to the dance with her because he had a crush on Sam. Dun dun dunnn! McKinley High School kids’ hormones were out of control last night. But Tina had a plan: “We’ll go the dance as friends,” she offered, clearly not planning on keeping the “as friends” part of that sentence true. She pitched the idea as “You need some place to put your love, right?” but it was really just Tina getting exactly what she wanted under the guise of being helpful. Work it, girl! Actually, on second thought, don’t. This absolutely will not be ending well for anyone.

NEXT: Trouble, trouble everywhere

But Blaine and Tina (and Sam!) weren’t the main couple brimming with Sadie Hawkins-infused issues. That honor fell to Kitty. She wanted to go to the dance with Jake, but Good & Sweet Marley beat her to the asking. First, Kitty told Jake he was making a mistake because Marley wouldn’t be having sex with him, and she — taking a lesson from the end of Grease? — was now more than willing to do that. “You have needs. Are you really sure Marley is up for the job?” Ugh. Everything about this just made me a combination of sad and mad. Mostly sad. Happily, Jake liked Marley, and stuck with his choice of going to the dance with her, but not before getting some council from Puck. Getting advice from Puck about relationships is like getting advice about fair play from Lance Armstrong, so naturally things went downhill from there.

Puck offered to “deal” with Kitty, and Kitty seemed more than interested. She essentially propositioned him while asking the older Puck to go to the school dance with her. Side note: Is there anything sadder than going to a high school dance post-graduation? Did everything about this plot bother you as much as it bothered me? The episode ended with the twosome going off to a car to hook up after the dance, something I’m sure we’re suppose to presume happened unless we’re told differently next week. I get that this is Glee; we shouldn’t think too hard about anything; it’s all suppose to be fun, but 16-ish-year-old Kitty hooking up with Puck, especially to prove some kind of point, may be a low point for the show – particularly on a program that pushes self acceptance. This subplot seemed like a walking PSA for statutory rape, except it’s being presented as inconsequential, I guess because Kitty told Puck she had a fake ID so he would be in the clear with police? Yikes.

In more upbeat developments, Kurt is now at NYADA after he hijacked the Winter Showcase. While Rachel may have been all settled into her second semester (Does this mean Cassandra July is gone?) as well as settled into a new relationship with Brody (He slept over! NYC Rachel is just going for it on all fronts!), Kurt was struggling. Turns out, NYADA was just like the Mean Girls high school cafeteria, and Rachel wanted him to belong to the right clique — which included not sitting with the show choir group Adam’s Apples. Too bad, since British cutie Adam himself seemed interested in Kurt. Adam’s Apples performed a ballad-y version of “Baby Got Back,” and Kurt seemed to love it. Kurt also seemed interested in the Tennessee Williams Playreading Club along with Adam himself. By episode’s end, it seemed Kurt wasn’t going to be joining Adam’s Apples, but was going to join Adam for a date. Klaine fans are going to be upset, but I think a British boyfriend who seems quite similar to Kurt is exactly what the little fashionista needs right now.

NEXT: Sam tries to get The Warblers disqualified

Meanwhile, Blaine had his hands full without Kurt. In addition to his secret crush on straight BFF Sam, and remaining fairly oblivious to Tina’s now-obvious crush on him, he’s also helping Sam try and get the Warblers disqualified. Sam thought the Warblers were using steroids, because their faces are now huge. He’s got video proof that he showed to Finn, but the final nail in the coffin was Warbler Brutus, who liked Blaine and was therefore willing to be a turncoat to the Warbler Jacket. He confirmed to Finn, Blaine and Sam that the Warblers were using steroids, and if that holds up it would disqualify The Warblers and make New Directions able to once again advance. So….welcome back Glee?

Things I’m going to spend a lot of time thinking about this week:

-Were Tina and Blaine really about to kiss? Tell me Blainina isn’t happening.

-How mad is Kurt going to be when he finds out that Rachel asked Brody to move in with them?

-How bad of an idea is it for Brody to move in with Rachel?

-Lauren is back! No explanation was given; what do you think she’s been up to?

-What’s Jake going to do when he finds out about Puck and Kitty?

-Is there any impression Sam can’t pull off?

-We got multiple meetings of the Too Young To Be Bitter club, but not even one cutaway of Brody’s Magic Mike The Musical audition?

Musical Grades:

Baby Got Back (Original by Sir Mix A Lot): Ladies! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) I would be remiss in my recapping duties if I didn’t point out that there is a fair bit of controversy going on on these Interwebs about this arrangement. You can read up here, but basically, this slowed-down, ballad-y version sounds an awful lot like an arrangement from Jonathan Coulton that has already been released. Not good. Also not good? This version of the song didn’t do anything for me. Perhaps it was just too jarring from the original, but mostly it was just that I couldn’t tell if this was suppose to be a straight spoof or taken seriously. C

“I Don’t Know How To Love Him” (Original from Jesus Christ, Superstar): This version was fairly similar to the original, and there were no issues with that. It was great to see Tina get a solo, and this song sounded perfectly lovely. A-

“I Only Have Eyes For You” (Original by The Flamingos): We didn’t get to hear very much of this tune during the episode. Ryder crooning away at the dance was a nice moment, however. Hopefully he gets another solo number soon. B

NEXT: More musical grades and top lines!

“Locked Out Of Heaven” (Original by Bruno Mars): My favorite number of the night. The ladies took to the stage to show the boys how it’s done. The harmonies — especially towards the end — were fantastic, and the energy was great as well. A

“No Scrubs” (Original by TLC): Aww man. I’m sure viewers will be divided, but I thought the guys’ cover of this female empowerment track at the dance was unexpected silly fun. Total commitment plus sweet dance moves? All in. B+

“Tell Him” (Original by The Exciters): The performance was a total blast, with the girls (including Unique!) rocking out with great dance moves in coordinating blue dresses. Vocally, it wasn’t the strongest of the night, but it was a fun couple of minutes. B+

Top Lines: All Noah Puckerman Edition:

“As long as you get on base, you’ve got an opportunity to score.”

“You’ve got to resist that Jesus-loving little devil.”

“Don’t you worry, little brother from a different-colored mother, I’ll make her go away.”

“Leave my brother A-L-O-N.”

“Puckermans are like chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. Sure, you know we’re not good for you, but as soon as you get a whiff of our fresh-baked goodness, the next thing you know you’re lying in bed, covered in crumbs, crying.”

“Amateurs have threesomes, professionals have foursomes.”

Let’s hear it. What did you think of “Sadie Hawkins”?

Episode Recaps

Glee

Jane Lynch, Lea Michele, and high school anxiety star in Fox’s campy musical.
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  • 6
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  • In Season
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