Glee recap: Then He Kissed Him
Kurt finds himself on the receiving end of an unexpected smooch, while Coach Beiste laments her own lack of lip-lock action
Glee is like the gift that keeps on giving in terms of cute male actors. We already had the very handsome core (and, yes, by “core” I am partially referencing their abs) cast. Then, we got increased screen time for Mike Chang (Harry Shum, Jr.). Then, we added Sam (Chord Overstreet), who seems to be perpetually at a loss for where his shirt and/or pants are, but it’s a character flaw that I am fine with. Now, with last night’s episode, “Never Been Kissed,” we’ve been given the gift that is Blaine, played by newcomer Darren Criss. Let’s pause while I take a little prayer break…
Dear Grilled Cheesus, thank you for Darren Criss. Not only is he an alumni of my college, University of Michigan (Go Blue!), but he’s also j’adorable. I’ve now watched his cover of “Teenage Dream” an embarrassing number of times (giving Perez Hilton enough page views to last him a lifetime). But he’s just too cute and I sorta want to enroll in Dalton Academy and have him be my senior buddy. Can you work on that Grilled Cheesus? Love, Tim
PS—If I can’t go to Dalton, I at least want one of those blazers. They’re super awesome.
Okay, and while we’re on the subject of cute actors, Chris Colfer once again proved he’s a real talent last night. The Kurt/bullying storyline felt so real and so painful. Kurt’s role in this entire season is so socially important, and I give props to the Glee gurus (Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan) for tackling bullying in school but also showing there’s no simple solution. Basically, Kurt hit his limit with abuse from football player Karofsky, which seemed to have gotten increasingly more aggressive. Seeking a safer environment (and an excuse to spy on their sectionals competition), he snuck off to the all-boys Dalton Academy where he met Blaine, another out gay student and quite a good singer. The look on Kurt’s face when he watched Blaine sing was just priceless. It gave that musical moment a poignancy that instantly made it a Glee classic (read my reviews of all of tonight’s musical numbers later in the recap).
The big twist, though, was that when Kurt did finally confront Karofsky about the bullying (after a boost of confidence from Blaine), the football player kissed Kurt. Turns out the big tough guy was really just taking out his anger on the one kid with whom he could most relate. The most heartbreaking moment was when Kurt confessed to Blaine that the Karofsky kiss was his first ever. Ugh. Just like that, the tears begin flowing…
And they certainly didn’t stop for the episode’s other major storyline, which involved Coach Beiste, played by the great Dot-Marie Jones (be sure and check out my Q&A with Jones over at our PopWatch blog). The boys in school (and Tina) started imagining Beiste in various bizarre poses (my favorite was her with the meat cleaver) in order to “cool down” from their make-out sessions with their girlfriends. It just made you feel sooooo bad for Beiste, especially since the season premiere taught us that she’s a sensitive gal.
NEXT: Puck returns, along with Sue’s particular brand of evil.
But then came Beiste’s big scene where Will tried to get her to keep from quitting the school and she admitted to him that she’d never been kissed despite being 40 years old. Awww Beiste. So Will lovingly gave her a little peck. It was a nice moment, although Will’s speech to Beiste got a tiny bit sappy. I sorta never wanna hear anyone discuss somebody’s beauty, both on the inside and outside. It makes me wanna retch a little. Then again, why argue with a nice message of tolerance, right?
Puck made his return to school — as did his Mohawk! Apparently, juvie has a very stylish barber on the premises. He decided his community service would be to help Artie. It was fun to have these two characters band together, since they don’t tend to interact. Puck even managed to land Artie a date with Brittany at, obvs, Breadstix. But the revelation of this storyline was that even Puck felt alone and abandoned when he was sent off to juvie. He didn’t feel like anyone really cared about him…which did actually seem to be the case. New Directions really didn’t miss a beat in terms of performances. Still, Artie decided to help teach Puck how to be a better dude. And, thankfully, someone in juvie tore out Puck’s nipple ring, which is a step in the right direction (Note to everyone: Nipple rings should be safely removed, much like belly-button rings. They are no longer cool.).
Personally, I was happy to see Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) once again being just straight-out evil. There have been a few times this season where Sue seemed to be getting too soft, and that’s just not what we Gleeks want. Sue is a cutthroat, competitive bitch, and I wouldn’t want her any other way. So, I loooved that she celebrated Beiste’s (brief) resignation from McKinley with two giant confetti cannons.
This episode once again featured the glee club being split up into boy and girl teams, which yielded some fun performances — even if the girls definitely got the short-end of the stick in terms of storylines.
Here are my other observations from last night:
- Is it in Chord Overstreet’s contract that he be shirtless for a few moments each episode? I will sign off on that.
- Does Quinn live in the house from the 1985 cult classic Clue? It kinda looked like that. Or at least a spooky old mansion with a working fireplace.
- I really hope we get to meet the other sectionals competition, aka senior citizen team, “The Hipsters.” Genius name.
- I. CANNOT. WAIT. FOR. GWYNETH.
NEXT: Grading this week’s musical performances, plus the best lines from “Never Been Kissed.”
I already alluded to this in my recap, but simply one of my favorite Glee moments ever. The choreography. The arrangement. Kurt’s reaction. Ridiculously fun. All hail Darren Criss…but don’t talk to him because I call dibs. He’s MY new fake boyfriend. A+
“One Love (People Get Ready)”
This was a nice performance, but so random in the context of the episode. I’m still not really sure why they did this tune, aside from the monetary rewards. B-
“Start Me Up/Livin’ On a Prayer”
Looooooved. So much fun, especially all their crazy outfits, like Quinn’s biker bandana. It was a mash-up that seemed surprisingly smooth. A
“Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind”
Anything En Vogue is genius, let’s just get that out of the way. So pairing those fab ladies with The Supremes? URRRR-MAZING. A
THE BEST LINES
“You crap on my leg and I’ll cut it off!” –Beiste bizarrely threatening Quinn
“You should be our nation’s President.” –Santana complimenting Puck.