The weeks without Glee have made my soul as barren as the auditorium during a New Directions charity concert. (Yeah, not even their parents showed up.) But they were back this week, with several treats, like two guest stars, half a Tina song, a sexy display of tough from Darren Criss’ Blaine, a Schuester moment that didn’t make me want to clean my skin with an electric toothbrush, a little cat humor, and a shout-out to a little magazine you might have heard of. (Hi, Becky!)
Shall we recap?
New Directions needed money. And Mr. Schue needed a math tutor. (I believe it should have read “20,000 x .25 = $5,000.” Back me up, fellow mathletes…or fifth graders?) Point being, the Cheerios money promised to glee was lost in offshore accounts, and they needed a way to pay for a trip to Nationals. So naturally, Schue decided to sell saltwater taffy. “We pushed this stuff like crack,” he said of his days fund-raising at the school. Too bad they weren’t selling actual crack, because they could have considered their money problems over. But in the spirit of plot — and because Glee isn’t The Wire — they later opted to have a charity concert (an idea that came from Holly Holliday, who was back…again). The event would, in part, benefit the Brainiacs, the school’s monetarily challenged, final-bound academic decathlon team. Why? Because Tina, Mike, and Artie were in it…and (twist!) so was Brittany. They needed money so they could travel to Detroit after their collective knowledge of cat diseases and white rappers (which probably have more in common than we think) earned them a spot in the finals.
Meanwhile, Sue had gathered her League of Doom, which consisted of the coach from Vocal Adrenaline Dusty Goolsby (Sergeant Handsome), former glee coach Sandy Ryerson (the Pink Dagger), and Terri (Honey Badger). Honestly, I think Sue failed as an evil League leader — although that can probably be attributed to the fact that she put Sandy (who generally fails at life) in charge of the important task of heckling the glee kids during their fund-raiser. That’s not something that should be left to an amateur.
Over in Schue’s living room with a crackling fire in the background, he and Holly Holliday (Gwyneth Paltrow) were either getting ready to film a ’90s-era R&B music video or trying to set a sexy atmosphere. Oh, there was pizza. Never mind. But Holliday (in addition to giving Will the idea for the charity concert) suggested they sing only songs by neglected artists. The kids reacted like we all probably did: “Huh!?” The pizza must have been herbal.
Nonetheless, the kids got to work, but there was a snag: Mercedes wasn’t feeling the love from everyone else. She wanted more spotlight, blah, blah. We’ve done that, right? And, I believe, we had reached some sort of resolution. Now, suddenly, we found ourselves covering the same issue, with the same character — only this time she had Lauren Zizes as her backup instead of Kurt. (Not that Kurt would ever put up with the divasaurus behavior she displayed last night.) Get Mercedes a love interest, stat! Or a puppy! Or an orphan to adopt. Or an orphan-puppy love interest. (Ewww.) I don’t care. But if she’s entangled in one more “fighting for the spotlight” plot, her membership in the League of Awesome will be revoked and given to Sunshine Corazon (Charice!).
NEXT: Sunshine of our life