It was an evening of interesting pairings as Will tries to marry Ken's and Emma's wedding song choices, Puck and Rachel give it a go, Sue finds love, and Quinn and Finn meet unpopularity

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Credit: Michael Yarish/Fox
S1 E8

Sue in love? Quinn in civilian clothing? Will and Ken in a showdown? Puck and Rachel, sitting in a (Jewish) tree? Much like a slushie in the face, this week’s episode of Glee provided some bursts of unexpected flavor (even if it did skimp a bit on the Mercedes and Kurt). If you’re thirsting for a recap of last night’s action, bust a move and relive ”Mash-Up” below.

Good disgrace

The simple act of tossing a Big Quench in someone’s face turned out to be the latest craze in high school humiliation — the new wedgie, if you will. (BTW: Ever receive a wedgie? I did once. Never wear Fruit of the Loom tighty whities. They bend but they don’t break. And trust me, you want them to break.) Anyway, the episode opened with a hockey jock named Karofsky showering Finn in frosty beverage, revenge for a joke Finn made in fifth grade about his pubes. Karofsky sneered that by joining Glee Club and impregnating Quinn, Finn had now killed his social status. ”Welcome to the new world order,” Karofsky told Finn and Quinn. But of the many slushie facials that occurred in this hour (”Bros before hi-hos, dude”), the standout was Kurt’s: When Finn stood there, agonizing about having to nail Kurt so his football buds wouldn’t beat him up, Kurt took Finn’s cup out of his hands and inflicted the rain of pain on himself. Dripping wet and trying to hold it together, he dismissed Finn, but not before telling him to think about whether his teammates would ever commit such a selfless act for him. As soon as Finn left, Kurt preciously barked: ”Someone get me to a day spa! Stat!”

Things that make you go hmmm…

No matter how unpopular Finn and Quinn were, would they really seek out advice from prim, uptight guidance counselor Emma about how to be cool? (Then again, that scene did give us a couple of good lines. Quinn: ”Status is like currency. When your bank account is full, you can get away with doing just about anything. But right now, we’re, like, toxic assets.” And Emma, absurdly suggesting that Finn and Quinn wear sunglasses (after she lost herself gazing at Will outside her office), just like celebrities: ”Even at night. Doesn’t even need to be day. Very popular. Gives you a sense of mystery, you know… rappers.”)

Puckerman puckers up with… Rachel?

Call him Bombshell Boy. First we found out that Noah ”Puck” Puckerman — that mohawked Jewish football player-cum-Glee Clubber — was the father of Quinn’s baby. Then we saw him playing guitar in Rachel’s bedroom while she sang ”What a Girl Wants” and asking her to make out? You’re right, voice-over Puck, it’s wack! To explain this eyebrow-raiser, voice-over Puck told us the story of how his family was in the middle of their traditional celebration of Simchas Torah (Chinese food, Schindler’s List) when his mother gave him the sweet-and-sour pork (!) and called him out for not dating a Jewish girl. That night, Puck had a dream about Rachel and woke up with the religious realization that ”Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.” (Oy — he’s not the classiest suitor. But an intriguing one nonetheless.)

Despite a whirlwind courtship that involved a Big Quench not tossed in her face, Rachel wasn’t totally smitten, as she still yearned for a goy named Finn. Props to Puck for his response when Rachel told him in the heat of the moment that she couldn’t do this anymore (”Why? We’re a couple of good-lookin’ Jews. It’s natural”), and his excellent wooing with Neil Diamond’s ”Sweet Caroline,” or, as he called it, a ”personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon.” (Note the longing look that Quinn shot Puck during his performance.) Alas, Puck and Rachel couldn’t quite get on the same page. He chose football over Glee Club, closing the door on Rachel, but then changed his mind, only to have her close the door on him. While he got her to admit that she’d hoped that their fling would make Finn jealous, she called him out for harboring a crush on Quinn. (Keep digging, Rachel — there’s a little more to that story….)

NEXT: Ken and Will’s big showdown

Emma, you Ken and Will make a choice

The impending Ken-and-Emma nuptuals birthed some tense drama this week, which began when Ken and Emma asked Will to create a first-dance mashup using Ken’s choice, Sisqo’s ”Thong Song” (”I need something I can shake my moneymaker to,” Ken explained) and Emma’s selection, ”I Could Have Danced All Night” from My Fair Lady. Ken also wanted Will to give Emma some dancing lessons, because he couldn’t risk Emma stepping on his toenail-less feet, thanks to a ”monster case of athlete’s foot.” (His sad-sackery grows with each punchline, no?) The flirtation between Will and Emma escalated as he introduced her to the ”Thong Song” while she beamed in her Princess Di-inspired wedding dress. When he tripped (unconvincingly) over her dress and she wound up on top of him, guess what unhappy camper was watching through the window?

Fed up with Will, Ken acted out by instituting a mandatory Thursday afternoon football practice that conflicted with Glee Club rehearsal; he informed his players that they’d have to make a choice. One showdown with Will, coming up. Ken called out Will — and also himself, telling Will that he realized that he was just a consolation prize because Emma couldn’t have Will: ”Emma’s settling for me, and I love her so much, I don’t care.” (Pathetic? Heartbreaking? Both?) Will claimed that he hadn’t encouraged her flirting, but nor had he discouraged it. (Sorry, Will, but you basically encouraged it.) Guess Ken wasn’t buying this half-apology, because he didn’t back off his choose-football-or-Glee stand: ”We’ll let the kids decide who’s first choice and who’s a consolation prize.” (Ken, take it out on Emma, not the kids!) Later, Finn, inspired by a heart-to-heart with Will, informed Ken that leaders ”like Thomas Jefferson or that kid from the Terminator movies” can imagine a better future that others can’t yet see, and he saw a future where a kid can sing, dance, and play prevent defense. Apparently this was enough to make Ken suddenly come to his senses and drop the mandatory practice. Meanwhile, after a cozy version of ”I Could’ve Danced All Night,” Will and Emma were all jumbled up. Dropping by her office, Will told her that he couldn’t make the mash-up work: ”I just can’t get those two songs to go together.” ”That’s because they don’t — we both know that,” she answered with sad resignation, and they both knew they weren’t talking about the mash-up. Question is: Will Emma call off the engagement? Or… are we headed for a ”Speak now or forever hold your peace” spectacle on her wedding day?

So you think you can dance, Will? (You can.)

After explaining the theory of mash-ups to the Glee kids (”Sometimes things are so different, they don’t feel like they go together, but the big difference between them is what makes them great”), Mr. S. challenged them to figure out a good song to fuse with Young MC’s ”Bust a Move.” Although we never saw any results from this assignment, we did witness a demonstration of Will’s skillz in the rug-cutting department on ”Bust A Move” and ”Thong Song.” And said skillz were pretty impressive. I awarded bonus points for the split that Will pulled off at the end of the ”Bust a Move,” and would’ve issued even more had bassist Artie worn pants made out of stuffed animals. (Flea, you did not fake that funk.)

NEXT: A Sue in love

Sue Sylvester goes soft

This week we were given a strange but tantalizing peek at Sue’s sweet side, which is the opposite of the side that made her salt her backyard to ruin the Earth for 100 years. After taping another amusing installment of Sue’s Corner (”I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling”), she fell for Rod, the anchor who smelled of scotch and small-market-TV-personality cheese. Funny, I always pictured her with a five-star general. Then again, they did engage in a hot game of Battleship. (”You sunk my battleship, Rod,” she purred, ”and you sunk it hard.”) Smitten, she signed up for the Second Annual Allen County Sickle Cell Anemia Dance-a-Thon with Rod, and even got Will to give her dance lessons (how weird was it to see those two happily hoofing away?). The détente with Will, of course, was 2 Good 2 B Real, and she called out his ”sham of a marriage” and taunted him by telling him about Coach Ken’s ultimatum.

But karma’s a Sue Sylvester, and her comeuppance came when she dropped by the TV station to surprise Rod in her zoot suit — only to find him sucking face with co-anchor Andrea. ”I can’t be caged in, Sue,” he explained smoothly. ”That’s why I got my tiger tattoo. Heck, even my wife understood that.” (Wow. We need a moment to savor that line.) Loved the tiny joke in their exchange about her zoot suit. Ron: ”But, uh, only the men wear those.” Sue: ”Further embarrassed.”) After she split, heart in two, she returned to school to take out more anger on Will, unspooling an elaborate scenario that started with her getting him a kitty-kat from the animal shelter and ended with her punching him in the face on a dark, cold night. Still thirsty for blood, she called Quinn a disgrace for getting pregnant and kicked her off the Cheerios. Yep, the bitch is back — and for the sake of our story, that’s a good thing. But maybe sappy Sue can briefly come out and play on a rainy Sunday, or at least on Simchas Torah.

Okay, it’s time for you to take the mic. What did you think of last night’s episode? What was your favorite line? Did you miss Terri at all? And what mash-ups would you love to hear in the halls of McKinley High?

Episode Recaps

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Glee

Jane Lynch, Lea Michele, and high school anxiety star in Fox’s campy musical.

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