Everybody's looking for a war, and it seems we're about to get one.
Twenty seven seconds in to “Giants vs. Dwarves,” and the self-referential mockery is in full force, when Richard jauntily delivers the lead-in to this week’s episode, and Galavant says, “Yes, we discussed it last night in great detail; there’s no need for your clunky exposition.” We, the audience, not being privy to “last night,” did in fact need the exposition. Although it was a bit heavy-handed in season 1, the self-deprecation has become truly funny, and it’s impressive how they’ve made usually tired themes feel so fresh. Of course Gareth is going to fall for Madalena, but — surprise! — it turns out she’s falling for him as well. Of course Isabella is going to get the tiara knocked off her head but — surprise — it happens in the middle of a Rocky Horror meets Billy Idol rock number. (I liked “Different Kind of Princess,” even though it came out of nowhere.) And, of course Galavant and Richard are going to fight and make up but — surprise — everybody learns how to get along because Giants and Dwarves are the same size. Different tropes for different folks, I suppose; but all of the plots are really working for me.
Best Song: “Giants vs. Dwarves”
I was all prepared to crown “Different Kind of Princess” our song of the week, when Team Galavant busted out this feel-good-while-doing-bad gem. Who can resist a West Side Story homage, replete with snaps, whistling, and a great dance number? A special shout out to the choreographer on this one.
Let’s Get Lyrical:
“Let’s mess a whole bunch of dwarves up.
Stomp on their twee little tops.
Laugh at their wee little biceps,
and itsy bitsy you-know-whats.”
“Listen, people, there’s no need to fight.
Holy freakin’ cow, you’re the same damn height.”
Employee of the Week: Princess “wake up and smell my unshaved armpit” Jubilee (Sheridan Smith)
MVP: Roberta and her “come on, guys” quips
“The perfect pair. A dragon that isn’t a dragon. And a king that isn’t a king.” —Galavant
Feeling some serious Hagrid winning a dragon egg from a stranger vibes when Richard reveals he traded the jewel for a dragon (a lizard).
The Giants camera angle shtick was a clever sight gag — and presumably a way to keep the CGI budget dwarf-sized.
“Of course we are Giants. Just very short Giants, that’s all.” —Giant
“We are too, we’re just very tall Dwarves.” —Dwarf
“There’s something different about you lately. You only punched a couple of people today and I feel like you took a bath. What’s going on?” —Sid to Gareth
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Galavant: I’m sorry. I’ve been using so many horrible words to describe you that I’ve forgotten the one that describes you best.
The cheery reprise of Richard’s lizard tune at the end of the episode sounds like an ’80s sitcom theme song.
NEXT: A dead hero…?
Lots of resolutions in “About Last Knight” — welcome to the Forest of Coincidence — as Isabella kicks Wormwood the wedding planner out of the castle and he happens upon wanted man Sid, who is then guided to Galavant while he unknowingly sends Wormwood to Madalena and Garett to start a Horencia/Valencia war. Still with me? We meet Galavant’s absent father who, as it turns out, has been following his son’s career all along. Gareth and Madalena are all sorts of vile and adorable together. Isabella loses a bra but gains her independence. And everybody begins to fulfill their hopes and dreams and quests — except Galavant, who gets stabbed in the chest with his own sword as the episode fades to black. Can you kill off the lead character and still call the show Galavant? Probably not, so we can expect tragedy tonight and comedy tomorrow (or at least next week).
Best Song: “Today we Rise”
Sid channels his best Marius as he gathers Valencia’s miserables in a rousing “Do You Hear the People Sing?” number. Of course, this being Galavant, the uptempo call to action is bleak as hell, leading to yet another wonderful sight gag of Sid waving his red flag at the Barricades… alone.
Let’s Get Lyrical
“We will march and we fight,
for the cause that’s good and right,
though the odds of us surviving are ridiculously slight.”
“Some they’ll slash, some they’ll hack,
some they’ll bludgeon blue and black,
some they’ll gut from top to bottom,
some they’ll mangle front to back.”
“And our corpses will rot on the plane,
Leaving only a gross bloody stain.
Then the world it will see, as will all of history,
we had truth on our side, but we still died in vain.
And the brave lucky few,
who will somehow make it through,
scarred for life and missing limbs,
and needing help to pee and poo.”
Employee of the Week: Galavant’s Dad
MVP: Galavant. Surprisingly the knight is back as the lead, so of course he has to get stabbed at the end.
“Damn it, why do musicals always get me so worked up?” – Sid
Richard: Worst of all, we had to eat that family of Hobbits.
Galavant: Well, we wouldn’t have had to if you had let us eat your stupid iguana.
Richard: Tad Cooper is a dragon, and we are not eating a dragon.
“I smell backstory, and I love backstory.” —Richard
Gareth: This is a bit fancy.
Madalena: It’s a crystal nut bowl.
Gareth: They’ll never fit.
Madalena: No… for dinner parties.
Galavant: Your dad probably was not a serial philanderer who left your Mum.
Roberta: That is so sad.
Richard: Not as sad as having a dead dad, right? I mean my story is sadder.
Galavant’s Dad: I never thought I’d see my son with such a bushy beard.
Galavant: It’s not bushy; it’s correct for the period.
Richard: You have a lot of children. Your wife must be so sore.
There’s a fine line between the writers taking the easy way out and the writers being so clever that it looks like they’re taking the easy way out: That’s the Forest of Coincidence.
“Galavant never makes fart jokes. Must be a misunderstanding.” —Sid
When a princess breaks things off with a prince, according to the charter he demands her bra “to show to his friends.” Apparently the Horensia charter is based on Sixteen Candles.
“You know us old school knights. We can really only express ourselves through tapestry.” —Galavant’s Dad
I really missed Chef and Gwynne this week. They’re the best couple of the series, and the show loses some of its buoyancy without them for sure.