John and Dorian get some unlikely help from a psychic while chasing a team of killer clones

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December 10, 2013 at 09:08 AM EST

Welcome back to the Almost Human recaps!

This week, we’ve got clones and a futuristic twist on the ol’ “psychic who helps solve a murder” crime procedural trope. So let’s get into episode five, “Blood Brothers”!

We kick off this week with a scene that will no doubt inspire tons of creepy fan fiction: John visits the android storage facility to pick up Dorian and runs smack dab into a naked MX. As John moans to Dorian later in the car, he’ll never be able to get the image of the life-sized Ken doll out of his mind. (Neither will we.) Dorian can relate, as it’s like a robot gym locker room in there, what with all the MXs strutting around proudly displaying their lack of genitalia. It’s enough to make an “almost human” android want his own place. (Could our heroes soon be cohabitating Odd Couple 2048-style?)

John then asks Dorian if he’s “built” like the MXs, to which Dorian replies that his designer was “more thoughtful” and promptly whips out his robo-junk. (Again, this episode was an early Christmas present for authors of John/Dorian slash fiction.) “Is that all for one person?,” John exclaims, while we ignore the racial implications of that joke. The conversation then turns to John’s occasional flirtation with Det. Stahl, prompting Dorian to mimic her voice. (Minka Kelly’s voice coming out of a male android’s mouth right after he dropped trou in front of his human partner? Come to think of it, this show is already its own fan fiction.)

We jump to Captain Maldonado testifying in the case of Ethan Avery, an upstanding citizen who is on trial for the murder of a fertility doctor. While there is no physical evidence linking Avery to the murder of Dr. Fuller, Maldonado has two eyewitnesses under police protection. The witnesses, Haley Meyers and Maya Vaughn, are being held in a secure location where their testimony will be beamed into the courtroom via hologram. (Good to know the justice system has finally caught up to the technology CNN used to beam in back on election night 2008.)

Haley (who has a noticeably Canadian accent, which explains why the future looks a lot like rainy Vancouver) is nervous, and Maya chattering on about how she’s a medium/psychic who can talk to the dead isn’t helping. Just as she begins her testimony, a gunman blows away the MX standing guard and kills Haley. Maya, who was in the bathroom at the time, escapes out the window. Avery stares daggers at Maldonado, just in case it wasn’t clear that he’s behind the hit.

NEXT: No, the other football…

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In a not-so-distant future, human cops and androids partner up to protect and serve
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