Len says goodbye (for now), Sia refuses to show her face (out of respect), and the second star is sent home.

By Jake Perlman
Updated September 24, 2014 at 01:26 AM EDT

Now this is the story all about how Alfonso Ribeiro’s plan for dance domination got flipped-turned upside down by another ’90s sitcom star.

After a fierce finale in week one, Alfonso had the biggest drop in scores for week two. This allowed for three ladies to top the leader board: Bethany, Janel, and Lea, the latter Caroline in the City star earning the night’s best score after being put in jeopardy during last week’s first elimination. Lea, like the rest of America, is determined to have an opportunity for Artem to dance in his purple Calvin Klein underwear and since movie night is next week, we probably won’t have to wait much longer! If that’s our future, I think we all would want to go back to that.

The top two ladies, Janel and Lea, were also the judges’ picks for the encore performance but since #hashtags are so in these days, an audience Twitter vote decided which one actually got to dance again. Janel and Val taking the win.

After Lea’s early showstopper of the evening, Betsey and Tommy both improved from their first week performances and proved that age is simply a state of mind, and a safe state of mind this week. Despite still having lower scores, both elders managed to get themselves out of jeopardy, Betsey being saved after landing in the bottom two last week. Michael on the other hand must have been too busy literally looking for himself and his Samba stalled his position at the bottom. Once again Michael and Emma were put in jeopardy, this time with Sadie and Mark and Tavis and Sharna.

In another attempt for ABC to fill time, we learned the ABCs of DWTS, which was just one long video montage filled with slightly humorous graphics corresponding each letter of the alphabet to something about the show. Most were pretty standard (Argentine Tango, Jive) but the best had to be the trifecta of Genuine Human Interaction because apparently the only way for celebrities to feel love in life is if they signed up for a reality TV competition. Well, I guess that could be true since most of these people are pretty Zany anyway. Seriously, what other word did you expect them to pick? Making a connection to a zebra would be a stretch to say the least. And in one of the weirdest things to ever happen in a ballroom, Sia “performed” her hit “Chandelier” while Allison and Dance Moms’ Maddie Ziegler “danced” in matching blond wigs and nude leotards. And by “performed” I mean standing on the stage with her back to the camera and audience purposefully not showing her face and by “danced” I mean hopping up and down on dirty mattresses.

Before the actual results, we got some other news from Len that he is officially taking time off from the show for a couple of weeks and even though Julianne Hough was brought in, the producers still felt the need to have a guest judge for movie night. So, who are they bringing in? Kevin Hart. Yes, that is the other guy in the Ice Cube cop movie/Think Like a Man franchise/wildly successful comedian who probably knows absolutely nothing about dance.

The three couples in jeopardy all featured stars from the South in harm of elimination, so you know the ABC affiliates down there can’t be too happy. At the end of the night, it was Tavis and Sharna who were told to leave their boogie wonderland behind and eliminated. Tavis blamed his own commitment to his real occupation and scheduling for not being able to fully invest in the show the way that he had hoped. Good news for Michael, who seemed genuinely surprised by the human interaction he was getting from Emma celebrating being saved. Bad news for us, a lot more driving metaphors to come.