The week 7 results show is one big sparkly sobfest; Michael Bublé and a drill team perform
Dancing With The Stars Recap
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Noooooooo. Darn you, Planet Mirrorballus! That Dick made me cry!

Andy Dick and his partner Sharna Burgess left the ballroom in tears on tonight’s Week 7 results show. Technically, yes, he was the poorest dancer left, and Monday’s abysmal score of 17 practically guaranteed his ouster tonight. But in many ways Andy turned out to be the heart of the season. I wrongly assumed he might be obnoxious to have on the show, and I couldn’t have been more off — his commitment to improvement and built-in sob story were what DWTS is all about. He and Sharna turned out to be the sweetest couple imaginable and it seemed like the entire cast used him as an emotional touchstone week to week. He will be sorely missed.

“Carrie Ann responded the most to us at first and was the harshest in the end,” Andy told EW after the show. “I think that five hurt us.” [Read more.]

Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson joined Andy and Sharna in the bottom two.

Andy’s choked-up farewell speech made me cry even harder than the Viennese waltz dedicated to his daughter — but then again tonight’s entire show left me a basket case so I guess I was just really revved up (to passively float away in a glittering river of my own tears #sparklebarf) by the end. What first did me in was the segment about ballroom pro Adrianne Haslet-Davis, who lost a foot in the Boston Marathon bombings. I liked the way her interview reflected the anger and “impossibly hard” nature of a setback like this. Of course she cried and punched pillows, and her family let her. By the time Adrianne said “This is the longest I’ve gone without dancing that I can ever remember,” I was a goner.

And so were Tom and Brooke, CLEARLY CRYING while promising that someday soon, whenever she’s ready, Adrianne will dance again on a prosthetic foot in the DWTS Rectagon. What a moment!

I also loved the Sophisticated Sisters’ segment — they’re a drill team from Camden, NJ run by earth-bound angel Tawanda Jones. The mirrorless, windowless water tower where they practice is one of the only safe places in town, so the group is less an after-school activity and more a way of life, for those who maintain the C average required to keep up with the training. I love the idea of the water tower as a microcosm of good vibes and dance in the midst of such bleakness. I’m glad Brooke and Tom are going to personally install their new mirrors. (Just kidding.)

“We should NOT be underestimated, under noooooo circumstances!” –adorable little girl in rainbow hoodie

“Yo, Annie. Your problems = NOT REAL PROBLEMS.” –this results show

Meanwhile, Aly and Mark got another encore this week. Isn’t he supposed to be injured?

NEXT: The Top 7 (“seh-vehhhhhn!”) moments of the results show

Annie’s Top 7 (“Seh-vehhhhn!“) Results Show Moments for Tuesday, April 23, 2013

7. How the heck did those blonde afro wigs stay on during that poodle-icious pro number?

6. Jacoby hiding behind Karina as Brooke repeatedly showed footage of him accidentally throwing a football right into Kym’s face. (Could Kym be any more of a forgiving sweetheart?!)

5. Ingo’s incredibly deep and hearty chuckle following Jacoby’s explanation: “I’m not a quarterback.”

4. “Welcome back to the home of spandex lingerie!” –Tom Bergeron

3. Michael Bublé’s evil eyes right before he sang the words “cha cha cha” — what a beautiful (and blue!) exhibition from Our Pros.

2. Violinist/rock star Lindsey Stirling lunging/dancing along with my favorite engaged dancers, Allison Holker and “tWitch” Boss

1. Lil’ tongue action from Tristan:


Should someone else have gone home instead of Andy, or was it his time? Discuss!

Meanwhile,’s Hidden Gems of Week 7 await your expert appraisal….


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