Desperate Housewives recap: Unsealed Lips
It has been a slow start with the Bolen family — I’ve complained about it here in my Desperate Housewives TV Watch nearly every week — but this week, the matriarch of new-to-Wisteria Lane family, Angie, came out swinging. Literally! And I loved it. In what was nearly the final scene of last night’s episode, we gloriously saw Angie punch her husband Nick square in the nose after having a rather frank discussion about the affair he had been carrying on with Julie Mayer. ”Are we okay?” asked Nick, after the revelation. Then punch! Shocking! And awesome! ”Now we’re okay,” she told him, post-punch. Go Angie! You’re my new favorite bitch on Wisteria Lane.
Beyond the punch, though, I felt like this was the coming-out episode for the Bolen clan, and especially Angie, in so many ways. Not that we learned that much new about them — and Lord knows they’ve still got some bubbling secrets that are screaming to be revealed — but it seemed like they were finally integrated into the happenings on Wisteria Lane. Angie and her husband Nick interacted with two — yes, two! — different housewives over the hour.
The first was Bree. The Bolens invited Bree and Orson over for a dinner party, where Angie cooked what seemed like half-a-dozen courses of Italian specialties from her family’s cookbook, everything from lasagna to gnocchi. (I didn’t even know what the rest of the stuff was, but it sounded delicious!) ”Well, my grandma-ma Bombelli always said if the men can still button their pants,” Angie told Bree and Orson, after bringing out yet another course, ”dinner ain’t over yet.” But at the dinner, the volatile Angie and Nick quickly got into a fight, after it was revealed that Angie was being such a sweet, accommodating hostess because she wanted Bree to hire her. The always tactful, and happy-to-avoid-conflict Bree politely said no and wanted to get out of the line of fire between Angie and Nick. ”Orson, I never thought I would say this to you again,” she told her husband, while the fighting couple was off in the kitchen, trying to expedite their exit from the Bolen house, ”but please unbutton your pants!” I got a great kick out of that line from Bree, of course.
The dinner party, though, just served as a way to set up the connection between Bree and Angie. Turns out that Bree did end up eventually hiring Angie, mostly because she just wanted Angie’s coveted family recipes. But, now, it seems she’s got a new friend in Angie, too, as the pair were sharing secrets quickly after Angie’s hiring. ”Orson and I barely speak to each other,” Bree confided to Angie. ”We haven’t shared a bed in three months.” It served Bree well to show some cracks to Angie. ”Trust me, honey,” Angie said, after Bree said that Angie lets it all hang out. ”If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s keeping things to myself.”
NEXT: Old grudges and new misstepsPersonally, I’m hoping that this new friendship and work relationship between Bree and Angie will lead to the latter spilling her family’s secret to the former. Honestly, I know that probably nothing will be revealed until episode 22, but we can hope, right?! Angie’s frankness, though — ”Wow, no sex for three months?” she said to Bree with a laugh. ”What do you do? Sit on the dryer?” — is a good sign of what could develop between these two. Angie did drop one little morsel during the episode, though, right after she told Nick she knew about his affair. ”I know you can’t go anywhere, and you know I can’t go anywhere, so we’re going to have to get past this,” she said to her husband. ”I’ve put you through a lot, so you get this one. But that’s it!” Not that there’s much there, but it reinforced that they’re likely running because of something she is responsible for. Again, I’m resorting to making something out of nothing when it comes to the Bolens’ secret because there’s nothing to work with. But thems the breaks.
Lynette was the second housewife to have contact with the Bolens, despite having little else to do. After first revealing her possible pregnancy to Lynette, Julie again confided in her neighbor, telling her about the affair she’d been having with Nick Bolen. ”Why did you tell me this?” Lynette asked Julie, after the revelation. ”Why not lie? I’m late for work — I would have bought anything!” Lynette quickly sprung into action and stopped by the Bolen house to tell Nick that he needed to give up on Julie. ”You know who might be offended?” Lynette told Nick. ”Her father. If Karl finds out, he’s gonna come over here and cut your buds off at a 45-degree angle!” I thought the reference and connection to the rose cuttings was clever. Again, the Scavos didn’t have that much to do besides this and they eventually told the Fairview detectives about the fact that Julie and Nick were having the affair and had broken things off right before she was strangled.
That revelation from Lynette and Tom, though, was quite a big break for Julie’s case, which got some love last night from a new detective, Denise, played by the always-lovely Kathy Najimy. Denise picked up the case after the two original detectives wouldn’t listen to Susan’s claims that Katherine should be a suspect. But really, Denise just wanted to use it as a chance to get back at Susan, who didn’t realize that Denise was an old high school mate who she used to make fun of — and stole a boyfriend from. So, of course, Denise really bonded with Susan’s other nemesis, Katherine, and eventually ended up getting Susan thrown in the slammer after discovering that she shot Katherine a couple episodes back. Susan quickly realized that she helped foster the Katherine-Denise connection: ”Oh my God, I sent her over there!” Susan said, after pointing her finger at Katherine. ”Like a meeting of the ‘I Hate Susan’ club!”
Truly, I wasn’t obsessed with this story line, and I kept waiting for it to really heat up. Maybe we could have had a fun flashback sequence or something? Just hearing about Susan calling Ellen ”Moose” was funny, but could we see it? Maybe it’s just not Desperate Housewives‘ style, but I would have laughed.
NEXT: Ivana teach your childAlso providing some laughs in a very isolated story line was Gaby, who’s still home-schooling Juanita. But, naturally, it wasn’t going so well, as evidenced by how Gaby decided to teach Juanita about fractions: ”Okay, fine, let me make it more interesting for you,” Gaby said. ”Say I take Mrs. Doolittle, your favorite doll, and I chop her into thirds. I bury one-third in the yard, I put another third down the garbage disposal. How much of Mrs. Doolittle do you have left?” Hehehe, gotta love Gaby! The story line overall, though, was rather throwaway. Gaby ended up enlisting the housekeeper, who had a PhD from another country but couldn’t find academic work in the States, to teach Juanita and tried to hide it from Carlos. He found out — shocker!
Now, just because there were several good lines from last night’s episode, I’ll share some of my favorites that I didn’t mention yet:
”Don’t patronize me! Angie’s are light as air. Mine are like shot-puts!” — Bree, after Orson compliments her attempt at making gnocchi
”I don’t want jewelry! I don’t want romantic gestures! I want out!” — Bree, giving it straight to Orson
”Honey, you hear that? People are asking us for gardening tips. We are officially suburban!” — Angie, after Lynette claims she’s stopped by to talk to Nick about how he cares for his roses
”Because Ivana sucked — and not in that good vacuum sort of way!” — Carlos, to Gaby, about why he asked for a new housekeeper
”You have to know that stuff! If not, you’re gonna end up scrubbing other people’s toilets!” — Gaby, trying to impress upon Juanita the importance of fractions, while in earshot of the housekeeper
”What were they fleeing from? Cleanliness?” — Carlos, who was surprised at how unclean the house was, after Gaby told him about how their housekeeper Ivana had to flee her old country
”Don’t worry — your doll is safe. If I’m going to chop anything off, it’s going to be something of your daddy’s!” — Gaby, hilariously assuring Juanita that her doll is fine
But what about you, TV Watchers: Did you have a favorite line, sound bite, or quip from last night’s episode? Do you agree with me that the Bolens were finally more appropriately integrated into Wisteria Lane? Would you want to see Kathy Najimy return for another episode? How much are you anticipating the upcoming plane-crash episode?!?