Wisteria Lane sees a bomb, a baby, and a bon voyage -- plus some truly excellent set-up for next season's drama
Desperate Housewives
Credit: Danny Feld/ABC

After a season that was undoubtedly rocky — a rollercoaster ride through a mix of good and bad storylines — the minds behind Desperate Housewives managed to put together a season finale that was rather action-packed and full of drama. Just look at the major storylines: a twist-ending bomb, a baby delivered by a serial killer, and a major move off of Wisteria Lane. Now, my fellow Desperate TV Watchers, that’s a season finale.

But before we get to all that, what I loved most about last night’s goodbye to season 6 was the delicious setup it gave to season 7, potentially making the next year one of the series’ best. Two huge storylines were put into motion, and they seem like good ones. First, we’ve got a baby switch coming on the Lane this fall. Specifically, last night, an old nurse at Fairview Memorial, Teresa Pruitt, confessed on her deathbed that there’d been a baby switch on her watch. We weren’t given any clues to work with about who it was, besides the news that it’s someone on Wistera Lane, natch.

Now, the Desperate producers could take this storyline in one of two directions. It could concern a switch between a child of the main housewives and someone random — or, with the potential to be much juicier, a switch between two children of the main housewives. I was thinking about whose kids are around the same age and sex and wasn’t coming up with much. I had the thought, however, that this seemingly random storyline could have something to do with next season’s other big storyline — the return of Mary Alice’s husband Paul. See, do you all remember their creepy son Zach? Could it be that, maybe, Andrew and Zach were switched at birth? I have a feeling that the baby switch has something to do with Zach or Paul. Actually it must — otherwise, it just won’t be as interesting.

But anyway, the second storyline for next season — Paul’s return — should be good. That the producers are dipping back into stories from earlier seasons is a good sign — mostly because those seasons were much better than the last couple. I say, let’s bring some of that yesteryear magic back! Paul moving in clarified why Susan and Mike and MJ had to move off of the lane — mostly so that Mary Alice’s husband would have somewhere to live. Although it’s not exactly clear about why, for story purposes, Paul needed Susan and Mike’s house specifically. Couldn’t the producers have just created a new house on the Lane for him to live in and left Susan and Mike there? I’m betting there’s a sick and twisted reason why Paul needed that house, and we’ll find out more about that come September. Also, bringing Paul back means that the delightfully nasty Felicia might also make a return appearance. Which: Yes! Love her.

NEXT: Boom goes the dynamiteBut back to the explosive action — literally explosive! — that happened last night. The bomb! It scared me. I mean, bombs always do, but I had this weird feeling in my bones that Patrick Logan was actually going to get away with blowing up the Bolen house with Danny — and possibly even Gaby — in it. There was sweet vindication, however, in seeing Angie turn around, just as she was running away from Patrick Logan in an attempt to save her son, and say: ”It’s in the detonator.” Boom! Patrick was dead, cue the trumpets! The twist worked mostly because, as smart as Patrick seemed, Angie always seemed way smarter. She had anticipated that Patrick would undoubtedly pull a fast one on her and she might get the chance to blow him up, effectively removing him from her life. Cheers to her for that!

The storyline had some hilarious moments, too. I loved that Gaby was involved — she always brings a certain levity to whatever she’s doing. For instance, I died when she was struggling while climbing up the trellis at the Bolen house in her stilettos, and in a fit, yelled, ”Stupid wisteria!” It was a tiny nod to the famed name of the street they live on — and her cursing something that so brings such beauty to their homes as stifling her rescue plans was a genius add to an otherwise heavy, stakes-infused storyline. And of course, I giggled when she was trying to get into the hospital earlier in the episode to see Nick. ”I got sauce on the stove, ziti in the oven, and a mustache that needs to be bleached!” Gaby said to a nurse at Fairview Memorial, doing her best to convince a nurse that she was, indeed, Nick’s Italian wife. Someone give Eva Longoria Parker an Emmy nod — she’s often the funniest person on the show.

Lynette’s perilous situation also wrapped up rather quickly — and, thankfully, less explosively — as psycho Eddie helped her deliver her daughter amid problems with the umbilical cord being tangled around the baby’s neck. ”You have a chance to save a life!” Lynette screamed at him, through her labor, after she discovered that he’d killed not only his mother, but also several other women in Fairview. But it was actually what she said to him later that really got me. ”Honey, don’t you see you’re already there,” Lynette smartly said, after the tortured Eddie admitted he didn’t want to go to jail. ”No matter where you run to, in your head, you will never be free.” And she was so right, eventually convincing Eddie to turn himself in and face the consequences for everything he’s done.

NEXT: Team Orson!Overall, the Eddie storyline ended on an surprisingly resonant note. At first, when the serial killer stuff started on the show, I wasn’t into it. Without knowing who the killer was — or why he was killing — it didn’t have much hold over me. Isn’t part of the benefit of being the viewer that we should know more than the characters on screen? Anyway, it was when we found out about Eddie’s crazy backstory that things really turned around. I’m sure we’ll never see Eddie again, but I sort of enjoy the idea of him still being around and nearby, since the crazy that he finally did bring to the table was pretty good. Maybe he’ll get out of jail and return a season or two down the road to do more damage — or maybe do some good? A Desperate Housewives fan can dream.

In terms of Bree, I was infinitely shocked that she actually turned the company over to Sam, after he blackmailed her by threatening to go to the cops about Andrew running over Mrs. Solis 10 years ago. There was a weird, tragic symphonic nature to the whole thing — one that Orson clearly picked up on. How could she hide her son’s indiscretion, yet force him to pay for his very similar crime years ago? ”You sent me to jail,” Orson said, as the final straw. ”You insisted that I turn myself in. You said it’s the only way you’d take me back. I respected you for demanding better of me. It showed me you had ideals and principles.” Ouch. ”We always have a choice,” he said, ”and I no longer choose to be your husband.” As much as I love Bree, I’m on Team Orson here — he has every right to walk (or rather, roll) away from her.

I assume, however, that we haven’t seen the last of Orson. He always seems to come back — he’s like the cockroach of Wistera Lane in that way. And maybe he’ll be back next season after he hears about how Bree did finally confess her secret to Gaby. That confession was going down just as the credits were about to roll, so there’s great potential for that shockwave to factor into next season, too. Moreso than Gaby’s reaction, I’m interested in what hotheaded Carlos will do when he finds out his mom died at the hand of Andrew. Will someone have to hold him back from taking a car and running over the poor kid?

So, overall, a successful end to a largely unsuccessful season. But it’s best to leave a good taste in we viewers mouths for the long wait over the summer, right? Fans, what’d you think of the finale? Does all the set-up for next season get you excited for September? What do you think Paul is up to with his return to Wisteria Lane?

Desperate Housewives (TV Show)
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