Desperate Housewives recap: Only the Lonely
After last week’s episode-ending strangulation of Julie Mayer, it wasn’t but minutes into this week’s hour that we viewers witnessed a scene that’s all-too-familiar on Wisteria Lane lately: All the residents — young and old, male and female, gay and straight — were in the street, the yards, on the sidewalk, shaking their heads at yet another tragedy. We most recently saw such a scene when Edie bit the dust in that horrible car crash/electrocution accident last season. (Is Wisteria Lane possibly the most unsafe suburban street to live on in fictional America?) Thankfully, for the moment at least, it seems that no one has met his or her maker (yet!), but it was surely a close one for Julie. And she’s not out of the woods, medically, quite yet.
However, there was one family that was suspiciously absent from the street — that’d be the newly arrived Bolen clan. Right now — after seeing suspicion from Karen McCluskey, Wistera Lane’s own Men’s Murder Club (Tom, Carlos, and Orson, crimefighters!), and the family’s own sketchy actions — we’re led to believe that they’ve got something to hide when it comes to Julie.
But I’m sort of stumped with what they’re hiding and nearly believe that they’re not sure themselves. See, son Danny was out and about the night Julie was strangled, but he never admitted to actually doing anything to her. At least, he didn’t admit it to his parents in any scene that we viewers saw. Yet, still, his parents were all about creating an alibi for him. Which — c’mon folks! — we all know is the worst idea. If you’re innocent, just be honest about what you were really doing. So Danny was out and about drinking? Telling the police that truth, as murky as it may be, is a lot better than making up a lie that’ll just be exposed later.
Also, it’s ridiculous to believe that Danny really can’t remember where he was the night before drinking. I mean, it’s — what? —10 a.m., and if he was drinking so much that he couldn’t even remember where he was, then he’d probably still be on the floor. Or in bed. Or at least nursing a hangover! Or maybe that’s part of the Bolen family secret — Danny has rage blackouts when he drinks too much! He can’t remember things! The family hides his misdeeds! But he never gets a hangover! Sheesh, I really hope that’s not the secret they’re harboring.
I guess at this point, when it comes to the Bolens, I need more info. But, as per usual Desperate Housewives slow-and-steady style, I have a feeling that critical details about what’s what in regard to this family will only drip out over the course of several episodes. But I’m seriously wondering: Why do Angie and Nick Bolen immediately set about creating an alibi for their son before they even know what he has — or hasn’t —done? Is strangling young women something he tends to do often? Why did they move to Wisteria Lane? Had Danny pulled something like this before and they’re feeling? What do Nick and Angie do for a living? And, again, what’s with Angie’s creepy back scars/burns?
Also, this is random: But did anyone know what Angie was talking about in regard to what sympathy dish she was going to make for Susan and Mike? As she and her family were inside their house (while everyone else was still outside in the street), Angie said: ”Maybe that is because we’re hiding in our house like guilty people. Now, I am going to go make Susan and Mike a montigut [sp?] and then we are going to get out there and start hugging people.” I sort of became obsessed with what a montigut — if that’s even what she really said! — is. Does anyone know? I just thought that the type of dish (it sounds sort of ethnic, no?) might be a clue as to the family’s history or something. Or maybe I’m just reading into something where there’s nothing. Anyway, TV Watchers, let me know if you know what kind of dish Angie said she was going to make for Mike and Susan. I’m interested!
NEXT: Bree doesn’t want to be aloneEven with the neighborly dish that Angie made, I couldn’t help but feel that the battle lines on Wisteria Lane had been drawn. Especially in those final few shots, when Mary Alice intoned, ”The son of one housewife was suspected of strangling the daughter of another,” while we watched Danny be taken away in a police car and Susan and Angie death-stare each other into oblivion. So Angie isn’t a part of the Wisteria Lane Ladies Mafia? Well, you don’t say!
But, enough about the Bolens, and back to the most pressing matter at hand and story line that wove all the ladies of the Lane together: Julie Mayer. By all indications that we got during last night’s episode, it seems like she’ll eventually end up being okay At one point, even, we did see her open her eyes and even recognize her father. But what was he doing? Kissing Bree, of course! Julie relapsed back into her unconscious state, but that didn’t stop Bree from freaking out that Susan — or anyone, for that matter — might find out that she’s flinging with Karl. But, honestly, who’s going to believe the ramblings of a girl who’s been in a coma? And to Bree, I say: You’re playing with fire, so you better be able to deal with the consequences, should you get found out.
And truly, I couldn’t believe that, after consulting Susan about how she’d react if one of her friends slept with Karl, Bree proceeded to continue her relationship with the man. I mean, of course she doesn’t want to be alone — no one does after seeing a tragedy like what happened with Julie. But, on the other hand, it feels like such a slap in the face to Susan, who’ll likely freak out if she finds out about the tryst between Bree and Karl. But, inevitably, she will find out and she will freak out.
Speaking of Susan freaking out, I think that’s what you’d call what she did to Lynette tonight. But I guess you can’t blame Susan. I mean, Lynette knew something highly personal — that Julie might be pregnant — about her daughter that she herself didn’t know. But, never fear fans, two housewives can’t be mad at each other for too long! They ended up reconciling by the end of the episode, in what I thought was a very touching scene where Lynette revealed her own pregnancy to Susan and confessed that the secret was what initially drew her to talk to Julie about her own possible pregnancy. Again, Felicity Huffman killed with her dramatic portrayal of Lynette-as-an-unwilling-mother: ”I can’t quiet that one voice in my mind that keeps saying: ‘Maybe I shouldn’t.”’
And Susan’s heartfelt response actually moved me, too: ”Lynette, you can do whatever it is you think you need to do. It’s weird, everyone talks about a kid being a gift…. But they are a gift, Lynette. I know that because I spent the last few hours thinking that I was going to lose mine. I realized that I would trade everything I own. I would give everything I will have for just one more day as Julie’s mom. But I’m not telling you what I should do.” Which swayed Lynette’s feelings: ”Actually, you are,” she told Susan. ”And I’m glad you did.” What I appreciated about this exchange is that, finally, the elephant in the room was addressed: the possibility that Lynette had considered not having the baby.
NEXT: Old folks in loveSorry if that sounds crass — and I’m sure I’m opening a can of worms by even mentioning it in this TV Watch — but the fact of the matter is that Lynette does not have to have the babies if she doesn’t want them. It’s her body and it’s her decision. It seems that now she is going to go with having the twins, but honestly, I would have appreciated a real, frank conversation about options — abortion or otherwise — between Tom and Lynette. But this little nod to it here in her conversation with Susan does sort of suffice.
Gaby, meanwhile, continued to deal with the rambunctiousness of her teenage niece, Ana, who she gave some very Gaby-esque advice to about how to snag a boy. ”Here’s the secret to landing a guy,” she told her protégé. ”You have to ignore them!” I love seeing Gaby dole out her advice because I can imagine that such tactics no doubt did wonders for her. (Well, I guess she even said as much when she talked about locking down her engagement to Carlos!) But anyway, Gaby spent the episode getting to the bottom of where Ana was the night of Julie’s attack. At first, Ana claimed she was out drinking with Danny Bolen, although the sluethy Gaby eventually figured out that Ana was lying.
As usual, the Gaby story line provided some of the best comedic relief of the night. When the police showed up to question Ana about her whereabouts, Gaby was irritated about what Ana was saying about how she snuck out the night before. ”Can I borrow your mace?” she asked the officers. ”My tax dollars are paying for it. I should get to use it!” And, a bit later: ”How about a taser? You guys must carry a taer!” Just picturing Gaby trying to use mace or a tazer is hilarious!
One thing puzzles me on the Ana front. So she’s supposedly after Danny Bolen, she wants to date him or whatever. But he was very into Julie, going so far as to go to a movie with her (that is, before she apparently rejected him). But, let’s just be honest here: Why would Danny choose Julie over Ana? Based just on looks, Ana beats Julie hands down. And isn’t Danny in high school? Julie is beyond that, and I don’t know how many college-age girls would want to be seen dating a high school boy anyway. Then again, as usual, I’m probably thinking about this all too much. But it did just strike me as strange.
On a final note, what’s with the Mrs. McCluskey-in-love story line? Was that just for comedic relief? (I definitely chuckled when Karen told Roy he’d be showering alone.) On one hand, the geriatric romance is sweet — everyone needs a little love. But then again — and this might be totally random to all of you — as I watched the two old lovebirds together, all I could hear in my head was the voice of my forever-a-widow grandmother, who often commented about why she’d never remarry at an old age: ”Why the hell would I want to take care of an old man?” It sorta seems like that’s what Karen would have to do, if she were to really take it to the next level with Roy. I mean, did you see how many pills the old dude was taking? And how much he was complaining after walking for just 15 minutes? Caretaker, party of Mrs. McCluskey.
But, enough of me babbling, Desperate TV Watchers, what do you think? How’d you feel about last night’s episode? How much freakier do you think Katherine will get before she totally cracks about her continued rejection by Mike? Do you have any favorite sound bites of the evening? Did anyone else love the hot, torn-to-shreds jeans mom-to-be Lynette was wearing in the hospital? She’s the chicest mom I know!