Dancing with the Stars recap: No Death of a Mailman
Andy Dick will live on to deliver more packages of gems. Who went home on Week 6?
No surprises at the Week 6 results show — after weeks of landing in the bottom two, Victor Ortiz and Lindsay Arnold were booted from the ballroom. This marks the fourth week in a row that the eliminated contestant expected his or her own demise, and even welcomed it! (Wynonna Judd, Lisa Vanderpump, and D.L. Hughley were all more than ready to go.)
Champion boxer Victor made sure to call out “all you beautiful people” who worked on and watched the show (not specifically his partner Lindsay, though I’m sure he meant to), and promised the season 16 cast ringside seats to his next world championship title fight. “I’ve danced my shoes off,” said Victor, which struck me as basically him dying to take off his absurd ballroom footwear right there on the floor.
“I felt it, I knew it, the scores were low… I don’t know what happened, I just kind of choked,” Victor told EW after the show. [Read more.]
Everyone looked relieved (in what Tom called a “love fest” atop the staircase) that Andy Dick and Sharna Burgess will live on — during footage from Monday, Andy seemed to be shocked by the devilish 6-6-6 score up in the Celebriquarium. “I didn’t even think we messed up!” said Andy. “You didn’t mess up at all,” Kym Johnson assured him. Awwww. Kym!
“Judges, what’s wrong with you?” wondered Andy in the parking lot post-Monday’s show as his special lady friend (who reminds me of a sloppier, happier version of Crazy Courtney from The Bachelor) wobbled around in support. “Sixes, my bum!”
Meanwhile, Bachelor Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd joined Victor and Lindsay in the official bottom two. Their plan for next week? “The pants gotta come off, or something,” suggested Peta. Nooooo.
Stevie Wonder wants in! “I’d like to come back being one of the dancers as well,” said the longtime fan of Planet Mirrorballus in a confessional following Monday’s performance show (which celebrated some of his greatest hits). “We’ve been talking about it a long time, but I’m going to make it a reality.”
Unfortunately, after that ridiculous karaoke segment featuring the season 16 stars and Our Pros, it turned out via an imaginary feed into Tom Bergeron’s ear that Stevie Wonder would actually rather do Splash.
will.i.am‘s robot routine just seemed sad to me. A small part of me dies inside/no longer shimmers whenever the DWTS Rectagon transforms into a pit of writhing youth a la American Idol.
NEXT: The Top 7 (“seh-vehhhhhn!”) moments of the results show
Annie’s Top 7 (“Seh-vehhhhn!“) Results Show Moments for Tuesday, April 23, 2013
7. Olly Murs’ repeated attempts to mingle with the Blonde Pros after his performance were very awkward! I preferred his two backup singers with matching hipster glasses.
6. Aly’s face sparkles (reflecting off her be-gemmed dress) before she and Mark were announced safe.
5. “Or not.” –Len Goodman after Bruno claimed, following Sean’s Monday dance, that Sean was “better than Andy.”
4. Emma Slater’s “hip shrug” while sprawled out on the ground during her pre-commercial dance with Derek. It was totally PG, though I still experienced shades of Derek’s signature mambo “crotch bob” move. Agh!
3. Kellie Pickler to Andy Dick: “My mailman isn’t as hot as you.”
2. I was squinting trying to figure out if Gleb had grown a magical beard over the past week…but it turned out to be guest pro Jaymz Tuaileva dancing with Cheryl!
1. Ingo’s son Peanut, a.k.a. the Tot-emacher: “SEE YOU AT THE AFTER PARTY!”
Up next week: Colombian superstar Juanes will perform! He only sings in Spanish. Our Pros offered us a glimpse of Latin Night with a feisty animal-print routine that showcased a LOT of the African Anteater Ritual from the 1987 film classic Can’t Buy Me Love. Can’t wait!
Who do you think will be next to go — Sean or Andy? Could depend on hip action….