Kiss and Gotan Project perform, and it's a tragic end to Rock Week for one unsuspecting couple

By Annie Barrett
Updated April 11, 2012 at 06:17 AM EDT
ABC

On the fourth week of the season 14 competition, actress Sherri Shepherd, or “Sweet Sherri” as Brooke Burke kept calling her (someone needs a drink), was eliminated along with her partner Val Chmerkovskiy. I’d wrongly assumed Sherri was a fan favorite due to her endearing personality and tendency to announce hilarious and obvious things like “I look like a big-ass baby” while wrapping her legs around Val’s waist during rehearsals. (I love that this will likely be my fondest memory of Sherri on Dancing With the Stars.)

As for that bottom two Dance Duel the judges teased last week, it’ll start up next Tuesday. Just as well, because the judges would have selected Roshon Fagan to stay over Sherri anyway.

So Sherri was “suddenly and rudely cut off — not unlike every time she tries to speak on The View,” said Jimmy Kimmel when the couple visited Live late Tuesday. The former blubbering mess was in much better spirits with all-new hair, makeup, and a hot pink dress for the late-night comedy stint — a challenge certainly more up her alley than Monday night’s tango.

The sobbing Sherri made me spout some tears of my own as soon as she choked up while talking to Tom as part of the bottom two. That evil mastermind Bergeron had relentlessly teased this week’s verdict (“It could provide the shock of the season!”) and commiserated with Brooke that this was “one of the most tense results shows we’ve had in a long time.” Heck, less than halfway through the episode he reminded the cast that the couple normally festering in jeopardy at the end of the results shows (Gavin DeGraw and Karina Smirnoff) and the couple who got injured (Melissa Gilbert and Maksim Chmerkovskiy) had already been announced safe. I’m surprised Sherri didn’t pass out, to be honest. And the Disney kid looked entirely unfazed by the situation, so basically the last two segments were Sherri Shepherd FREAKING THE F— OUT. I have to admit it made for great TV, as long as you’re a masochist.

Amidst the tears, Sherri had inspiring words for all of us: “That thing that scares you the most, that makes you say ‘I don’t know if I can do it, I’m scared’ — run towards it, because it’s so amazing on the other side.” I’m not sure that was a safe thing to suggest on a set where every few feet lies the terrifying promise of a random burst of fire — ROCK WEEK! — but it definitely made me cry. I’ve recently realized I am powerless against eliminated reality TV contestants. They cry, I cry. Doesn’t even matter if I liked ’em. But I do like Sherri.

NEXT: The Top 7 (seh-vehhhhhn!) moments of the results show More ominous, tense stuff: At one point there was a totally bizarre shot from Monday night of Gene Simmons in full Kiss regalia solemnly “presiding over” Melissa Gilbert’s oxygen mask application in the Red Room — an “Only on Dancing With the Stars” moment of questionable greatness for the ages. Update on Melissa: She’s doing okay after hitting her head during Monday’s paso doble. Wait, did she hit her head on the floor or did Maks kick her in the head when he went down? I still can’t tell. It doesn’t matter; she got dizzy.

Matador Maks emerged from a holding pool of sparkly quicksand to represent their partnership during the results show as Melissa enjoyed sedation and bedrest. Melissa suffered a mild concussion, but it turns out Maks is injured too. He hurt his arm. “It took away from the pain in the ankles, knees, and shoulders,” he joked before thanking Gavin DeGraw for carrying Melissa down the stairway to Brookebot Mountain on Monday.

Karina Smirnoff roped in retired Cuban ballet dancer José Manuel Carreño for a gorgeous exhibition backed by the Gotan Project. The music may have sounded familiar: I suspect that any time Lacey, Mark, or Derek have twisted the producers’ arms into letting them use pre-recorded music instead of the DWTS Band, it’s been Gotan Project. They’re heavy hitters for Argentine tangos on So You Think You Can Dance, too.

I’ve been listening to Gotan Project on Spotify for the past hour and I feel like I’ve entered another dimension in which all of my “moves” (google something! delete! locate tilde on keyboard!) are zippier and performed with a more meaningful flourish. I could definitely live like this full-time. I just need to buy a few hundred sultry red garden bulbs for my apartment. Aren’t you so glad you’re experiencing this lifestyle regime change liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive with me? Great, anyway, I wanted Karina and Jose’s slithery-red balletic tango to last so much longer and I especially wanted to see some more solo moves from José.

Oh hey, there’s Dawson Leery, looking exactly the same.

Don’t trust the Van Der B who claims to have aged since Dawson’s Creek!

Annie’s Top 7 (Seh-vehhhhn!) Results Show Moments for Tuesday, April 10, 2012

7. Carrie Ann’s weird “Jazzercise video leader” demonstration at the top of Kiss’ opening number featuring Mark, Chelsie, Henry, and Oksana. ROCK WEEK!

6. Tom admitting “you gotta hate them just a little” after Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd — “two people with a grand total of three percent body fat” — danced their “Purple Haze” paso doble as the first Tuesday night encore of the season

5. Monday night footage: Bruno’s complete disinterest bordering on disdain as Jaleel White howled over and over in an effort to psych himself up for the tango

4. More MNF: Chelsie’s verbal coaching during the Viennese waltz: “Yes!” — and later — “Hell yeah!”

3. Dmitry Chaplin’s abs. Vegas tour, baby! Eagerly awaiting a free weekend trip to the Tropicana so I can properly cover this.

2. Brooke’s response to Derek predicting his pants would come off for next week’s spicy Latin night: “I think that might be a nice change.”

1. Tom’s followup quip on the floor: “If you hear that laugh of Maria’s enough, the pants go right back on.”

Farewell, sweet Sherri.

The SHEP-HERD letters on Val’s knuckles would like to remind you to appraise Your Hidden Gems of Week 4. Sob.

Which couple do you think should have headed home this week?

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:

Week 4 ‘Rock Night’ performance recap: Mimes Gone Wild!

Tristan MacManus blogs Rock Week: Tongue-wagging with Gene Simmons

Sherri’s son, Maks’ side tat, Little Orphan Maria, other Hidden Gems of Week 3

‘DWTS’ to feature sneak peek of Disney doomsday film starring William Levy

All of Annie’s ‘DWTS’ episode recaps

Ask Annie anything about ‘Dancing With the Stars’ (or whatever) in the video player below. To see her answers to previous questions, click on the text links below the picture. This is *not* liiiiiiive! and she is not really sitting there right now. She updates a few times per week.

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