Solid performances from Reba and the Pros jazz up a predictable elimination

By Annie Barrett
Updated May 07, 2010 at 04:00 PM EDT
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Dancing With the Stars

S10 E5
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  • TV Show
network
  • ABC
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On the Week 3 results show, Buzz Aldrin was the second person eliminated from Dancing With the Stars season 10. I’d developed a real affection for Buzz this week, and it peaked during his sweet and visually powerful farewell montage. That was convenient. Sure, he seemed a little long-winded at times, but this isn’t a batty old man we’re dealing with. The self-proclaimed ”patriotic geezer” is a smart and fascinating guy whose verbosity was not particularly well-suited for reality television in 2010. More power to him for that. ”I will miss hearing his stories,” his partner Ashly told my colleague Lynette Rice after last night’s show. ”I wish everybody could hear what he was telling me.” Read EW’s post-show interview with Buzz and Ashly over at Hollywood Insider.

”Indiana” Jake Pavelka, who was in the bottom two with Buzz, seemed humbled by the scare, but he could have snapped out of the utter terror of possibly not getting the chance to Accept This Rose long enough to shake the spaceman’s hand. Attention! (Or as DANCMSTR would have it, ”a-season ten-sion”!) Stand up and salute the astronaut, everyone. Good cast, good cast. Who’s a good cast? You are.

Many viewers and 99 percent of the Internet thought Kate Gosselin, a terrible dancer, should have gone home before Buzz. After she was the last Star called safe, the heroic mother pretended to faint. ”No fainting! There’s no fainting in ballroom,” cried Tom. ”Most of the time.” Don’t cry for her, America: Kate assured a nation of rapt viewers that she was ”actually proud” of her paparazzi-themed paso doble. ”My internal scores say ‘Thumbs up!”’ she insisted as Tony weakly raised both of his own thumbs. It will be interesting to compare Kate’s internal score next week with the technical and performance scores the judges will attempt to beam in the general vicinity of her ego’s radar.

Evan and Anna performed their quickstep as the Week 3 encore, at DANCMSTR’s request. I loved the white-haired man in the front row who was clapping the entire time they were dancing in his corner. That would totally be me if I were ever at a liiiiiiive show. You only live once, right? And I must not have registered Anna’s sassy mid-dance wink on Monday night. Or maybe she didn’t do it then. I’ll never know, unless I check.

Reba stopped by! ”Three Russians and a Pole” (Maks, Val, Snejana, and Edyta) booted it up for ”I Want a Cowboy,” and Lacey and Dmitry put up a worthy fight to the title of Reba’s second number, ”Consider Me Gone.” Did anyone else think/fear that Lacey was barefoot? Nope! Nude heels! Those two are amazing. Reba was fab and all, but my favorite thing about her at the moment is that she’s clearly such a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars. Even her sequin-embroidered, pleathery top was in the spirit of the show. When Tom asked her who she was rooting for this season, she rattled off ”Erin, Evan, and Nicole.” Uh oh, said Tom, we now have some bitter contestants backstage. Whatever, Bergeron! The fact that she was even able to name three people automatically makes her my favorite results-night musical guest of all time.

NEXT: Chelsie, Derek, Mark, and other ”very thin children”

Oh, pixelated puke — did I speak too soon? A takin’-it-easy Mark Ballas played the guitar while Chelsie and Derek danced a high-drama acoustic paso doble! This needs to become a regular Tuesday-night occurrence — I love any Tuesday-night performance from Our Pros, of course, but sometimes it’s just too much FLASH FLASH FLASH, especially since the musical guests usually split the spotlight with the Pros 50/50. A quiet and subtle accompaniment allowed us to focus on the art of the dance instead. I just used the term ”art of the dance” in earnest! Honestly, I tend to sort of dread the paso on performance nights due to the likelihood of completely bizarre song choices. But this was just perfect; the dance provided the drama instead of the music. I would love, love, love to see Chelsie and Derek go acoustic again for an Argentine tango.

Hey, let’s check in with my mom for a sobering, slightly arthritic take on this performance: ”Dad and I could not take our eyes off of Derek in his paso with Chelsie. Seriously, I cannot even watch when they fling each other out and then reel each other back in. My shoulder feels like it’s going to snap out of its socket just watching them! Oh, the sinewy elasticity of youth. I’m sure I once had it, but I can barely wrap my head around the fact that I did.” Always good to hear from you, DANCMSTR Dee. After that dance, Tom’s voice boomed out: ”A well-deserved standing o!” and I felt a bit guilty for having remained slumped at my desk. According to my mom’s email, maybe I should bother to experience life on my feet more often while I still have the chance.

Filler segment: The season 10 cast is like a family! Kate’s never around, but don’t worry — she and Erin text each other constantly. I want Niecy Nash to show up at my door as a representative of the Cookie Ministry and encourage me, just one of her ”very thin children,” to eat. I think we all want that.

Something about Melissa Rycroft, Joey Fatone, and ”Rock & Roll All Night” came up. Are they running a special sale on KISS shirts at Macy’s this weekend? I blacked out. All I know is that the part of Melissa’s tour of the set was this quote from an audience member: ”The Stars’ outfits and Chad are better-looking in person.” I have always wondered about that! Someday, I will see both wonders of the world up close. Which reminds me: I’m still waiting for costume designer Randall Christensen to mail me a custom-fringed patchwork pillow of at least a dozen of my favorite costumes so that I can have more stylish dreams about the past few episodes of Dancing With the Stars. Is he busy or something? I don’t get it.

NEXT: An open letter to the Hair Team, and the Hidden Gem of the Week

Open Letter to the Hair Team Hi! I adore your work and particularly admire your use of flowers and feathers. But can you please do something about Chelsie’s JWoWW hair? She is so beautiful and — as there are no other blonde lady-pros this season from whom she needs to distinguish herself — there is simply no explanation for this sad, shadowy business of evil dark extensions. I understand that you don’t want her to look just like Vienna, but really, she couldn’t possibly. Back to blonde.

Hidden Gem of the Week ”I nominate Jake’s head-nodding, ‘right on, sister’ applause behind Kate when she was talking to Brooke about being stalked by paparazzi. He obviously felt her pain for being hounded by the press for… what?? being a fame-seeking ‘realebrity’?! Boo Hoo!” — from queue55, corroborated by Sheryl, Nancy, Barb, Mo, and JH.

But that’s not all! The glittering bounty of your Hidden Gem nominations in yesterday’s recap was so rich in bitchy randomness that I decided to compile most of your Gems in one big crazy PopWatch post. Cheryl’s face after Kate’s dance, Maks’ hand on Erin’s butt, Derek’s ”Little Derek,” and oh…so many more. Behold this great big pile of Visible Gems!

Excited for next week’s ”DOUBLE SCORE SHOWDOWN”? Do you still want to Free Tony, or are you amused by the Kate Gosselin Media Spectacle Spectacular? (Someone must be.) ‘Til next week, DANCMSTRs — my sequined wristbands and I salute you.

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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Dancing With the Stars

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