Dancing with the Stars recap: Bill Nye eliminated on Week 3
Let’s raise the bar and our cups to the Stars: An injured Bill Nye and his partner Tyne Stecklein have been eliminated on Week 3 following a hilariously awful “jazz” routine (emphasis on those air quotes) in which Nye brandished a leg immobilizer and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles breastplate in order to basically shuffle around and move his arms like a robot.
If Daft Punk could speak… they would be silent.
EW spoke to the rest of the cast about Bill Nye’s decision to dance through a major injury — watch the video over at our Inside TV blog.
I’m glad to see Bill and Tyne go, especially since he seems to have lost all use of that peg leg with the torn quadricep. The Dance Doc advised him to steer clear of the ballroom tonight, but Bill Nye knows what America wants, and America wants to Get Lucky! “Lots of celebs would just fold up and give up,” Len Goodman faux-marveled before awarding Nye his last 5. Ooh, Len, don’t you go dissing Dorothy Hamill. That is not cool.
Will the judges please reveal their Hollywood Night scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhhhh-ber!
Brant Daugherty and Peta Murgatroyd: 27/30 Usually I brace myself for the worst when the contestants’ injuries are addressed during the rehearsal footage, but Brant and Peta’s quickstep — performed under the duress of a sprained ligament in Brant’s foot — was “painless to watch,” according to Len. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a couple more genuinely shocked to receive great scores. They even looked a little guilty, like they didn’t deserve 9s and were waiting for the other shoe to drop.
What would really have been great is if the thief who’d robbed Brant at gunpoint (a much glossed-over detail!) last week had seen tonight’s quickstep, thought, “I was wrong. This guy needs the proper footwear to continue on in Week 4,” and sheepishly darted through the ballroom to drop off the Latin shoes he’d stolen from Brant. But maybe he thought he’d get picked up by the Lift Police on his way past the judges’ table.
I nearly fainted whenever Peta’s sparkly gold fringe became totally horizontal during their dance. It was that good. But I survived! Not at gunpoint.
Christina Milian and Mark Ballas: 26/30 Christina’s adorable daughter Violet messily drank an orange sports drink and demanded “more dancing” from her mother — so it naturally follows that I and probably a lot more people now like Christina Milian (nation: “Who?”) a lot more. That’s just how it works. Kids to the rescue! Oh, but there’s Mark, to bring it down a notch. We may never know why he was a clown on Frederick’s of Hollywood Night (LOL at Tom), or why that clown was sad.
He had no reason to be sad — Mark got to wear his signature spats, snag the spotlight by taking “the center of the ring,” and dance the Charleston with a hot lady in her fancy undies. Their spinning lift (with her entire body behind him!) into the final snazzy lift/dip (a magical marvel!) was fantastic.
Christina/Mark and Brant/Peta — Week 3’s top scorers — were announced as “in jeopardy” tonight along with Bill and Tyne. But as we know, this means nothing. There was no official bottom two.
Len wanted “a bit more of that swiveling action” from Christina and her Charleston-dancing sister Amber Riley, but he did like the fact that Christina’s dance “absolutely mirrored the music.” Somewhere off-camera, Brookebot snapped to life after gazing longingly at the mirror on the buckle of her pretty yellow belt. (Fascinating. Seriously.) And just like that, she had reset for the next few minutes.
Brooke, who’s the fairest Pro of all?
NEXT: Hashtag Len wants hot soup thrown in his eyes Corbin Bleu and Karina Smirnoff: 26/30 Their quickstep told the classic Hollywood tale of an old director receiving a visit from a young starlet, who enters the room and drops her trench coat to reveal… a devastatingly sparkly floor-length nightgown underneath. Because they must DANCE, dahling! The fastest (according to Krazy Karina) quickstep that’s ever been attempted on the show!
“One for the record books!” cried Bruno. “Like, sizzling on my eyes,” confirmed Carrie Ann (sounds painful). She added that Corbin needs to be careful of his hip hop background seeping into the standard dances, which was a somewhat hilarious way to both corroborate Corbin’s insistence during rehearsal footage that he’s “never done any ballroom dancing, period” while also reminding the audience that yep, he’s a professional dancer in some way. How off-duty Policewoman of her.
I loved the energy of this quickstep and think it was my favorite of Week 3 — quite a feat for the second dance of the night, which tends to be easily forgotten. The staging (with the two of them dancing backwards on two different levels, and Karina ending up perched in the spotlights on the fainting couch) was fabulous.
Elizabeth Berkley and Val Chmerkovskiy: 25/30 Tom Bergeron boldly swooped in, as he so often does, to speak for the viewing audience when he told Elizabeth to “hashtag stop” saying the word “hashtag” out loud. Like, she’s not Mariah Carey. Settle down, Spano. The last thing you need are Twitter users “accidentally” adding an extra t to “thrust it.” Tit’d be all downhill from there.
Val is constructing quite the spiritual experience for Elizabeth, who broke into tears while telling the cameras about the really great rhythm that a blindfold helped them find. Whatever it is, it’s working — their “Come Fly With Me” flight attendant foxtrot was gorgeous. She was really good at looking away from him while in hold, which can look so awkward on any amateur. I kept seeing shades of Julie Hagerty as flight attendant Elaine in Airplane! as I watched Elizabeth float by — they had the same circa-1980 long, flowing hair that’s somehow both feathered and curled. I will never achieve that hair. I guess I’ll never have to.
Len called Elizabeth and Val’s deliciously satisfying foxtrot “Chicken Soup to the Eyes.” Aggggh. That sounds almost as painful as Carrie Ann’s eye-sizzling. These judges are masochists!
NEXT: Why not sizzle your eyes on the paso doble, a Mexican food dish? Snooki and Sasha Farber: 25/30 Snooki says NO MORE SIXES. They’re almost as embarrassing as a straight-faced assertion that “after space, is heaven.” She threatened to sue Sasha’s ass if she got a neck injury while training for the foxtrot. But she should aim higher — Sasha’s real moneymaker is his smile. He’s seriously so cute. #SPARKLEBARF.
“This meatball’s on fire!” yelled Bruno as I’m sure Snooki disapproved, because I don’t think she fashions herself a meatball anymore. First she was a self-proclaimed meatball. Then in the later Jersey Shore years she was, like, ziti I guess (after she’d discovered diet drugs and/or exercise). Then she became a mom. And now she’s like…limp spaghetti, constantly bitching about needing more sauce? It still looks to me like she’s just going through the motions — but she did so rather well tonight. That one-handed cartwheel alone was worth an 8. Good for her. I’m suddenly really hungry.
Bill Engvall and Emma Slater: 24/30 What’s better than this summer’s Johnny Depp vehicle The Lone Ranger? Anything, really. My last indecipherable paragraph about Snooki as Italian food was better than that! But I’m proud to announce that there is now a TV version better than the film: Bill Engvall’s paso doble — a stunning Mexican dish — on Dancing With the Stars!
Huge Lone Ranger fan Len — who would’ve given Bill a 10 had he come out on his horse Silver — said Bill was “leading those spins, not just standing there and letting her do all the work. All guns blazing!” Bruno thought it was like being in an opera house! It totally was! It’s not like Bill Engvall is anywhere near the best dancer here, but his sheer glee at getting all the moves right without seeming that stiff was so fun to watch. And there’s something to be said about a swelling orchestra accompanied by a flying cowboy hat.
Ha, Valerie Harper here. And everyone! Brant!
“I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth,” said Bill, “but I’m pushing myself so hard…’cause I want to win this.” YES! I love the spirit.
Leah Remini and Tony Dovolani: 24/30 I barely remembered this, so I had to rewatch. Yikes. Sexy face is so awkward; no one should agree to deliberately try it on-camera. I was more excited by the song choice (Adele’s “Skyfall,” performed rather surprisingly by the Harold Wheeler Band instead of an iPod) than the rumba itself, but it was pretty good. I wouldn’t call it three-8’s good, though. I was mostly watching Tony. Dim lighting and a long black costume can really wash a girl out.
Carrie Ann and Len disagreed on Leah’s arms — Len thought they lacked fluidity, but Officer Inaba thought they were “creating passion.” I thought both judges were blowin’ smoke here. But I guess you gotta say something!
NEXT: A scared pimp and Grace Kelly (not in the same dance) Amber Riley and Derek Hough: 24/30 Amber’s Charleston actually tied her with Bill and Leah — blame her last name for knocking her this far down on the list. I thought it was way better than Leah’s rumba, with so much more content, but Len would’ve liked more of the aforementioned swivel in Amber’s feet. I was a big fan of the overall look and feel of the routine (set to “Bang Bang” from The Great Gatsby soundtrack) so good job, Derek.
And good job, beaded fringe dangling from Amber’s dress. Knee-length fringe in the ballroom? Now I’ve really seen it all!
Jack Osbourne and Cheryl Burke: 22/30 More fringe! Cheryl’s pink and black color block shift (which was more Mod than rockin’ ’70s, but whatever) got a big assist from the fringe at the bottom of her skirt and those shimmery pink go-go boots. Jack definitely could’ve benefited from a wig here, to really make this ’70s Hollywood-style cha cha cha pop. After he removed his fur tarp and slid somewhat unsuccessfully down a glass pane atop the technicolor staircase, the pimp vibe he was attempting to achieve went drastically downhill. He truly did look like a scared pimp, as he’d worried he would during rehearsals.
But I continue to love Jack’s attitude, and his lack of dance prowess in a season of ringers is refreshing. Len and Bruno wanted more hip action.
Valerie Harper and Tristan MacManus: 16/30 Again, why no wig for Tristan? Valerie got the glamorous blonde Grace Kelly one. If you’re gonna go Freddie Mercury ‘Stache, go all out with some dark hair! This cha cha cha was a technical disaster. No way around that. “Like flying coach on a cheap airline,” said Len (and now we know what he would have told Elizabeth and Val had they bombed). “A little bit bumpy, but you landed safely.” Ha! There was no safe landing whatsoever.
What saved this routine was the way Tristan was clearly counting out Valerie’s steps and cuing most of her moves out loud as she was just completely lost. And he’d even wait for her to do…whatever the heck she was doing before moving on. “Tristan, the way you take care of your partner is wonderful,” Len said. Aww!
All in all, not a bad Week Tree!
Who were your favorites tonight? Will you ever hear “Get Lucky” the same again?