In case you forgot where we left off last time, Rebecca stormed into the seminary church, in her wedding dress, and told Josh everything — and not in the healthy, “got everything I needed to say off my chest” way. More like, “I publicly admitted I was an insane and possibly deranged stalker this entire time” way. Crazy Ex has been brilliant in casting seemingly typical kooky sitcom behaviors in the harsh white light of the real word, and Rebecca’s big proclamation did just that: She didn’t come across as ”adorably obsessed;” she just came across as crazy.
And so Rebecca, alone and terrified, summons her younger self (played by Ava Acres) as the physical manifestation of her anxiety. Her younger self reminds her that when Josh tells people what she did, they’re going to send her back to the loony bin (“Hey, ‘loony’ is a derogatory term,” the ever-woke grown Rebecca says). And he’s going to have to tell everyone: Rebecca and Paula are suing him, and, as young Rebecca says, they just handed him his case defense.
Meanwhile, George, an expert in rejection, is serving as wingman and sidekick to the normally overly confident Nathaniel, who’s feeling stung by Rebecca’s disinterest in him. Whether George’s offers for massages are going to turn out to be less than platonic remains to be seen (are we going to get a “Don’t Fall For Straight Guys” solo from George down the line?) but as of now, he’s just offering his own unique brand of encouragement: “You gotta put the ‘plimp’ back in Plimpton.” In this case, that means asking Rebecca out, sleeping with her again, and then being the one to reject her. Classic non-sociopath relationship behavior.
When Rebecca arrives at the office, she’s greeted by a totally casual (casj? caj? cas?) Nathaniel, and by Paula who has some exciting news—their favorite feminist blog wants to write a story about them using their legal expertise to take Josh down. Rebecca, of course, has to figure out a way to stop it. And so, instead of making the logical excuse, something like “I realized having to re-live getting left at the altar again and again over the course of a trial would be too painful for me,” she decides to gaslight Paula into believing that their case is just too weak, and as a law student, she just didn’t realize it.
Rebecca is agreeing to go to dinner with Nathaniel, when her phone lets her know that Josh Chan just began a video message, and it’s streaming live from her nightmares. “I got a lot to tell people. A ton. A crazy amount,” Josh says, and Rebecca realizes that even stopping the case won’t be enough to keep Josh’s mouth shut. He ends the message by saying he’ll tell everyone the scoop at Home Base at happy hour, and so Rebecca now has until 5 p.m. to convince everyone that Josh is a liar. Good thing that blog is planning on writing an article on them. Rebecca backtracks with Paula, and, like the amazing friend she is, Paula buys it. They’ll do the interview, and go forward with the case.
As you probably picked up from the “what you missed” montage, Heather likes calling herself a student — it’s her identity and it’s shielded her from the challenges of uncertainty that the real world forces onto all of us. And so, when her bursar tells her that she’s basically avoided graduation for as long as possible, Heather’s less than enthused. “Oh God, do I have to sing an inspirational musical theater song right now?” Heather asks before miserably beginning the choreography, complete with overly peppy backup dancers and a second verse that features her as an old lady. “That was a living nightmare,” she says when it’s over.
Back over at the A plot, Rebecca is slandering Josh wildly to the reporter for the Corset (who of course works from home and doesn’t have an office). The point she wants to get across — and she does — is that Josh is a liar, and you can’t believe a word out of his mouth. She’s so egregiously damaged his reputation that by the time Josh meets with his friends at Home Base, they’re all furious with the guy they just read was a racist homophobe who never listened to their podcasts. Josh tries to protest by telling them all of the crazy things Rebecca had done to him, but as he describes them, he sounds, well, crazy. His friends storm out, and Rebecca thinks it’s mission accomplished.
But Josh still has an ace in the hole — the file he was given by Trent, the law school guy obsessed with Rebecca that details her history with Robert, who as you may recall, is not, in fact, her dog but rather the Yale Law School professor she fell in love with and whose apartment she attempted to burn down before being institutionalized. Josh goes to his priest, who calls Paula and brings her down to the office. Rebecca checks Paula’s voicemail, and realizes what’s happening and makes the most Rebecca decision possible: to flee.
But while all of this was happening, Rebecca forgot about her dinner date with Nathaniel, and not even a “Hotline Bling”-parody trip to the zoo could make him forget the sting of her rejection. And, as a few lines of the melody to “Oh My God, I Think I Like You,” play in the background, Nathaniel realizes, oh my God, he thinks he likes her. He rushes to tell Rebecca how he feels while she’s loading up her Louis Vuitton (oh, to be a wealthy lawyer) and while she rebukes him at first, he makes the excellent argument that he has a private jet and can take her anywhere she needs to go. And isn’t Paris better than just driving until your car runs out of gas? Nathaniel sweeps Rebecca off her feet, literally, and for the first time in a long time, she realizes how nice it is to be just taken care of. It even seems like a fairy tale, until you remember that she’s running from the fact that everyone is learning that she was in a mental institution for behavior towards an ex.
Paula bursts through the door, followed by Heather and Valencia, and Darryl. It’s a pre-confrontation cliffhanger, and I can’t wait to see where they go from here.