Robert Voets/The CW
November 14, 2016 at 03:10 PM EST

This episode picks up right where it left us hanging last week. Rebecca runs to Greg in the airport and asks why he’s leaving, and he explains that he’s going to Emory. When she asks why he didn’t say goodbye, he says, “I couldn’t say goodbye. If I did I would never leave.” And every Greg/Rebecca shipper’s heart breaks.

Greg tells Rebecca he loves her and there was a lot of good in their relationship, but there was also a lot of bad. He says one last “I love you” and then takes an honest, harsh look at their relationship in a song titled “It Was a S— Show.” Then he promptly leaves.

After this breakup of sorts, which, lest we forget, comes right after her breakup with Josh, Rebecca is depressed. Paula tells her that she and Greg were bad for each other and to just forget both men. “I don’t know who I am without them,” Rebecca says.

Meanwhile, Paula doesn’t know what to do about being pregnant. Her husband reminds her that she has options, but she rejects the possibility, saying, “I am a married mother of two. Those options are for teenagers the month after Winter Formal.” That left a bad taste in my mouth. There are no age limits on women’s rights.

Rebecca tries to forget about Josh and Greg, but they appear to her as memory spirits (different than dream ghosts!) and sing about how she can’t forget them because they’ve both had sex with her all over her house. She tries to burn their stuff in the sink and ends up setting fire to her apartment. She crashes with Heather, and we see Heather’s parents for the first time (her mom is white and her dad is black, another win for this show’s diversity).

Rebecca’s embarrassing 911 phone call is captured on film by a neighbor and it goes viral. So she formulates a plan to reinvent herself. Whitefeather and Associates’ new client is a douche company called Miss Douche, and Rebecca vows to win the contest to be their new spokesmodel. She gets a makeover consisting of long blonde hair and revealing clothes, and it looks terrible. She runs into Josh, and he’s puzzled and put off by it. At the contest, she breaks down, admitting she entered to show everyone that she was okay but she’s not. Heather wins, and the two decide to live together.

Rebecca finds the closure she didn’t get by breaking up with Greg from breaking up with ghost Greg. Paula crushes the Miss Douche case that Rebecca pawned off on her, and it’s yet more proof that she should go to law school. She gets an abortion, a decision that her husband and kids support, but she doesn’t tell Rebecca. She never even informed Rebecca that she was pregnant.

The episode ends with our first look at Valencia this season: Rachel and Heather see her stuffing donuts into her mouth. Someone’s not taking her breakup with Josh well.

NEXT: Now for the songs…

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2015 series
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Vincent Rodriguez III,
Donna Lynne Champlin
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