Rebecca sings a Marilyn Monroe number about love triangles, Josh dumps her, and Greg decides to go to Emory, but not if Rebecca can stop him first

By Madeline Raynor
November 07, 2016 at 03:07 PM EST
Robert Voets/The CW
  • TV Show

Rebecca has resorted to looking for signs from the universe to help her decide between Josh and Greg. But by the end of this episode, it gets decided for her.

See, Rebecca is late for her period, and she immediately assumes she’s pregnant with Josh’s baby. She takes this as a major sign that they’re meant to be. She seriously freaks Josh out by manically going on about starting a family. Then she excuses herself to go to the bathroom and realizes she got her period… so she isn’t pregnant. After being put on this insane roller coaster ride, Josh breaks up with Rebecca.

Meanwhile, Paula finds out she’s actually pregnant, and it puts a damper on her law school plans.

And after the Josh breakup, Rebecca rekindles her romance with Greg when they meet by chance in the park. They consider giving their relationship another go, and agree to meet back at the same place tomorrow night if they want to be together. The next day, Rebecca shows up, and Greg walks toward her, unseen. But before he reaches her, he has second thoughts and walks away. He decides to finally go to Emory Business School and plans to leave the next day. He doesn’t tell Rebecca, but she finds out just in time. The episode ends on a cliffhanger after Rebecca enacts the rom-com airport moment, running to stop him. She reaches him before it’s too late, but we’ll have to wait till next week to see whether she can change his mind. Until then, Rebecca and Greg shippers such as myself have hope.

Now onto the songs of the week:

“The Math of Love Triangles”

At the beginning of the episode, Rebecca finds a polyamorous trio on Craigslist and makes them meet up with her to get their opinion on whether or not she’s polyamorous, too. After she rants to them about her inability to choose between Josh and Greg, the woman tells her she’s in a love triangle, not a polyamorous relationship. Rebecca misses the point. Instead of listening, she launches into this number, a visual and musical ode to Marilyn Monroe’s “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” She fixates on the “triangle” part of “love triangle” and tries to solve it like a geometry problem. She misses the point in the song as well: It consists of her willfully misunderstanding everything this gang of handsome professors is trying to teach her in favor of playing dumb and making math puns. Everything recalls the Monroe number: the gown, the gloves, the diamonds, being surrounded by a gaggle of men. Bloom’s Marilyn Monroe impression is exaggerated to Lina Lamont-levels of baby voice. This number is flawlessly acted by Bloom. Alas, Rebecca learns nothing about herself from it.

Bonus Song: “Period Sex”

And now, a moment of silence for this snippet that would have been an amazing full song. After informing Josh she just got her period and isn’t pregnant, Rebecca proposes period sex in this seductive tune. Understandably, Josh interrupts her song to talk about what just happened. It’s too bad that this wasn’t a real song. I could see Crazy Ex-Girlfriend knocking it out of the part with a song devoted to a part of sex that we don’t discuss enough, in the vein of “I Gave You a UTI.”

Season 2 Song Ranking (So Far):

1. “Maybe This Dream”

2. “Greg’s Drinking Song”

3. “Love Kernels”

My ranking remains the same. “Love Triangles” was good, but not good enough to break the top three.

Episode Grade: A

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